Have you ever wanted to return to childhood or immerse yourself in a child's world, where there aren't those cares that press on you from all sides, and where there's no responsibility for what happens around? Absence of responsibility is a certain protection for babies' psyche and mind. They can live peacefully, naturally analyze, unhurriedly decide and perform their little affairs.
Large ships that are capable of withstanding storm attacks, sailing long distances and transporting large cargo are manufactured at a peaceful shipyard in a quiet harbor, where there are no storms. The Lord, giving children to His children, places them in such conditions where babies will be cared for, and where they can safely develop, acquiring necessary knowledge and practical skills, so that having gone out into the world, they can worthily endure all life storms, carry the burden of responsibility and walk with God over great distances. And they learn all this in the peaceful environment of the parental home.
Children's irresponsibility protects the child from many troubles, illnesses and stress. He completely trusts parents and accepts from them what they decide to give him and what they want to teach.
It's not in parents' power to put suitable temperament or correct will expression into their child. Any mother of many children will tell you that all her children are different from birth. They react differently to the same action and behave in their own way. The Lord Himself decides whom to give us, considering our peculiarities and putting a part of father and mother into the child's nature. Also, fallen nature is laid into every person, which is inherited by us from Adam and will be in us until death itself or until the Second Coming of Christ. And parents' obligation includes responsibility before God to teach children to resist this fleshly nature.
Although the newborn's life experience is like a clean sheet of paper, the baby already has a certain will and knows how and at what time to express it to achieve his goals.
While the child doesn't bear responsibility for his behavior, his parents' righteousness is imputed to him. But parents must form in their child's heart those correct principles of Christian upbringing that will help worthily overcome all life's difficulties. Just as cleanliness and hygiene of the body must be approached responsibly and uncompromisingly, so the struggle for purity of the child's heart will be a difficult occupation for parents.
Parents should understand and accept the fact even before the birth of their first child that being father and mother is not playing with dolls, but a sacrifice to God, Who will not accept from us something sick or crippled. And this is enormous responsibility before the entire Universe for the trust shown to us. To help in fulfilling such a task we're given special wisdom and strength from above.
Entrusting children to us, the Lord didn't plan for their upbringing to be done by the state or our relatives, nannies or the street. Giving a small child into strangers' hands is a very big chance to give the enemy of the soul the opportunity to sow seeds of evil in the child's heart, which will necessarily sprout. Transition from good to evil is never quick, but wise parents immediately notice such deviations and begin to take necessary measures to nip all evil in the bud.
Vigilance must be present at all times in any sphere of upbringing. While children are in parents' power, much can be invested in the child's heart and the child's will can be put on track. When children grow up and certain responsibility is placed on their shoulders, then parents' influence no longer has that power it had in the beginning.
Purity of the child's heart is formed under constant parental control in the spirit of prayer and personal communication and relationships of parents with God. The Lord reveals to father and mother all children's sins and teaches how to react correctly to this or that misdeed.
In every child's life comes that moment when he challenges his parents and wants to know what he'll get for it. It's difficult to explain why this happens. Apparently, this is Adam's heritage. However, one shouldn't be afraid of this. Even the most obedient children sometimes behave very challengingly and consciously break all rules. One must be ready for such a turn of events and know what to do in this situation. It's difficult to give a general rule of how one should act in such cases, but the rebelling child should understand two things clearly:
That his parents unconditionally love him. That such behavior will not go unpunished.
Children want to know who's the master in their house, and therefore they periodically make these checks in such a spirit. Such spontaneous antics don't speak of corruption of the child's heart, but they show that at this moment the child's fleshly nature got out of his control and decided to declare itself. He should be wisely shown that the masters of the house are the parents, and then he will accept this and submit under the loving hand.
One shouldn't allow children to find occupation or entertainment for themselves. All their affairs and movements should be under constant control of father or mother. Parents need to be far-sighted to foresee what influence this or that game, some book or friendship with peers has on their child.
Sleep time should begin according to established schedule, but not so early that the child can stay awake in bed. Usually in bedroom solitude many temptations come to the child's heart with which it's difficult for him to struggle, and he allows fleshly attacks to give free rein to sinful imagination and actions. Therefore one should take care that before sleep the child isn't excessively excited or overloaded with abundance of exciting food and drinks. One cannot make sleep a punishment, sending the violator to bed at the wrong time.
In our house there was a good tradition of reading useful books before sleep. This developed our daughter's outlook and united us into a friendly community of literature lovers. And then we arranged a competition in who would fall asleep faster, and usually I lost, which very much gladdened my well-rested daughter every morning.
Children willingly communicate with their peers and quite quickly find common language, even if they don't understand each other. But we know that unfamiliar children have certain influence, and therefore we don't allow children to independently find occupation without our control.
Children in the family are new life for parents, in which one very often has to forget about oneself and one's desires to raise from a wild creature one who will be worthy of acceptance by Heaven. Not understanding this goal and not having responsibility in this matter, one can very quickly lose control over the child and get in return a field sown with weeds with which one will have to struggle all remaining life.
The child himself won't become one who inherits Eternity. The world in which we live won't miss a single opportunity to steal, kill and destroy our children.
Much is written about good in the Bible, and these examples are worthy science for imitation, which should be taught to children at all times, and then God will write this knowledge in the child's heart and mind.
Questions for Reflection
Please read Eph.6:1; Col.3:20-21; Prov.17:6; Gen.33:12-14; 1John.3:1-2,7; 2Sam.4:4; Ruth 4:16; 2Tim.3:2,16-17; Heb.12:9 in light of our lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? Should parents control their little children's behavior? What happens to those children who are allowed to live and act as they want? Why should children understand what order is accepted in their house? Should one monitor whom your children befriend and choose friends for them yourself? Where does a child's rebellion come from and should one be afraid of it? Should parents' control over children weaken over the years? Why should children understand and see that they're unconditionally loved? What should you do if the child became the main commander in the family? Why shouldn't one give a small child to other people for upbringing? How should one correctly react to children's rebellion? What does the Lord do when we rebel and shake our fists at Heaven?