There's such a saying: "Whatever the child amuses himself with, as long as he doesn't cry." Children's crying and screaming are a natural way for the child to communicate with the external world and with his caregivers. This can also be caused by internal pain or discomfort and the child's desire to convey important information about his feelings to the surrounding world.
There can be dozens of various reasons for expressing crying or weeping, which parents can often determine unerringly, but sometimes even they get lost in guesses, trying to understand what their child is experiencing.
Observing mothers who have small children, I was always amazed at how they can distinguish the voice, cry and weeping of their child from dozens of other voices and determine by the strength of this sound how much their help is needed and whether their child is in danger. I also witnessed how an exhausted mother simply didn't react to crying and screaming and explained this by saying that there was nothing terrible in this noise, since the baby was being willful, and one shouldn't pay attention to his whims. But as soon as the child's cry changed to a different timbre, his mom immediately left all affairs and hurried to her treasure, considering everything else of little importance.
I don't remember how I behaved in childhood, but from my mom's stories I understood that I wasn't a special person, and she was an ordinary mom who loved me very much and did everything so that I would live well and comfortably.
Understanding the child's needs and requirements, his physiology, experiences and age peculiarities, one can quickly determine the reason for his emotional mood.
A child's scream is a louder sound that requires immediate attention to himself and his needs. It's also an expression of pain, anger or fright.
A child's crying is usually a softer and more prolonged attempt by the baby to attract attention to himself. It doesn't require instant reaction, but expresses the need for feeding, touch, comfort or personal presence of someone close.
There can be many reasons for expressing such noise. For example, hunger, thirst, pain, discomfort, fatigue, lack of caresses, communication or attention, fear, anxiety, solidarity with those around, overwork, change of environment, problems with digestion or health, lack of sleep or premature awakening, stress, boredom, expression of independence, attempt to manipulate parents and much else. And the mother feels the child's condition and reacts to his needs.
It often happens that the baby's tears haven't dried yet, and he's already beaming with a smile from ear to ear in his parents' arms. All these noises aren't something special and unpredictable. Most likely, these are natural sounds when there's a child in the house. And the more children are in the house, the more noise they create. And parents' task includes the ability to distinguish the reason for crying and weeping and react accordingly, responding to the child's needs or directing his attention in the right direction.
It's worth paying attention to the special cry of a child that's caused by the desire to manipulate parents or defending his egoistic position. And when the child doesn't get his way, this cry and weeping can turn into hysteria and get out of control. Even experienced parents don't always understand what needs to be done in such cases, especially if this happens in a public place. Hysteria can happen even with calm and well-mannered children at any age. What should never be done is to scream at the child or punish him. It can be very difficult to determine the reason for such disorders, but the noise grows, and no instruction or comfort works. In such cases it's best to take the child out of the public room to the street and distract his attention to other things if possible, or if this is at home, leave the baby alone, giving him the opportunity to come to himself independently. If this happens in his room, you can also turn on calm melody for him and by your behavior make it clear that you love him. And having closed the door behind him, pray to the Heavenly Father for intervention in this situation and comfort for your child.
I once had such an event in a store. My daughter decided to get something, but encountered polite refusal, which caused her indignation and led her to hysterical screams. Usually no one pays attention to children's noise, but at this moment all buyers began to observe what was happening. I left the cart with purchases and carried the raging little person outside, where she continued her wailing. And so as not to attract the attention of passersby, I put her in the car and closed the doors from outside, praying for help and waiting to see how this would end. The noise lasted several more minutes, and then began to quiet down, turning into ordinary crying. My daughter began knocking on the window and pointing to her wet tights. She had wet herself from the stress she experienced and switched to an urgent problem. I opened the door and took her in my arms, and she began complaining about wet clothes, which we immediately replaced and were comforted. After this I didn't scold my daughter and didn't remind her of what happened. The reason for what happened never became clear to me, but one shouldn't panic when such a spirit actively manifests itself. Love helps find a way out of any difficulty.
Not always does a child's cry or weeping turn into hysteria. Rather, this is an exception if parents understand the reason for children's demands. But if the baby understood that by intensifying crying he can achieve some forbidden or desired things, his whims can become a norm of life with transition from crying to hysteria. And parents' attempts to stop this arbitrariness with rudeness or punishment can only worsen the situation.
One shouldn't conduct explanatory conversations during such an incident. It's worth waiting until the child calms down, comes to himself, gets distracted, forgets, and then bring him to talk about the conflict that happened in a friendly manner so he can calmly analyze his behavior and draw conclusions. Through correct questions and cheerful conclusions one can lead the baby to condemn himself as having acted incorrectly and even be able to add how one should act in such cases. But such a conversation should proceed in a friendly form, without condemnation and threats. In an atmosphere of love it will be easier for the child to analyze his behavior and admit his mistakes.
One way or another, any child will sometime decide to achieve his goal through hysteria. And if other children are present during this, they don't welcome their peer's behavior, but observe with interest the adults' reaction. Children learn from others' examples, and parents' wise response will help them not fall into such extremes, and conversations on these topics will allow them to control their desires within accepted rules.
And it's always necessary to lead the conversation to the Divine vision of what happened and point to the One Who doesn't slumber and always watches what happens, wanting to endow those who pray with good thoughts and feelings. God doesn't want children's crying to become Satan's instrument in controlling parents' will, so He's always ready to give wisdom to those who ask Him for it.
Questions for Reflection
Please read James.1:5-7; Prov.19:8; Luke.9:39; Eph.4:30-32; Ex.2:6; Ps.83:7; Matt.5:4; Luke.7:13; Rev.21:4 in light of this lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? Is a child's cry or weeping something negative that needs to be fought? What do you experience when you hear the cry of other people's children who interfere with your peaceful life? Do you think Jesus cried and screamed when He was a Baby? Do you think Heaven sees crying and screaming children in us? Does the Lord carry us in His arms when we begin to be capricious and cry? Why does a child's crying sometimes get out of his control and turn into hysteria that's difficult to stop? Do you have experience of how to fight a child's hysteria? Do children throw tantrums in families where dictatorship and violence reign? Does the Lord help find the best solution in comforting a child when all usual methods don't help? What will happen to a child if parents satisfy all his whims? What do you experience when you see how other people's children arrange public concerts and their parents indulge them and make concessions?