Constancy is the ability to preserve for a prolonged time some peculiarities or traits of one's character. It also includes immutability of behavior, interpersonal relationships, legal and spiritual norms and much of what a person comes into contact with.
A child who is born into the world somehow amazingly already knows what he needs, what is useful, what he is entitled to by status and where to move in his development. Loving parents, even if they're inexperienced, very quickly determine the laws of personality development laid into human nature and adjust to them. But those father and mother who possess knowledge and can manage the situation, making from their child exactly what they want to see, have much more advantages and achieve certain success in forming their child's personality.
Constancy, stability, consistency, faithfulness to principles — all this creates a solid foundation for building happy family relationships within one's household.
God granted us unchanging testimonies of His constancy, which don't spoil our life but give firm confidence that it will always be so. The sun rises and sets at the appointed time, seasons consistently follow one another, the water cycle in nature feeds the earth and plant world, the air we breathe contains a certain concentration of gases, and the week has seven days. This and any other stability and constancy don't spoil our life but contribute to our calm development and confidence in tomorrow.
Laws of body and personality development are laid by God into the heart and nature of the child, which can adapt to certain living conditions, but at the same time strive for harmony of relationships that can exist in an atmosphere of mutual love, freedom and respect. For young parents who have no idea about the needs and requirements of the baby, their son or daughter becomes another toy that can quickly become boring and begin to periodically irritate with their protests against impermissible arbitrariness.
Man is born for love, and when he receives it, it's not difficult for him to transmit it further and share it with those who need it.
Studying psychology and the structure of children's thinking, we identified certain patterns of intellectual development and what we should do to raise a full-fledged personality. Besides love, a child needs cleanliness, proper nutrition, a stable daily routine, understanding of his rights and duties, firm boundaries and frameworks within which he will be protected and can do what he wants, a personal example from his parents and their consistency regarding their own rules.
Children are very observant, and my spouse's and my relationship is for them a visual demonstration of practical application of those laws we offer to the little citizens of our home. We don't bear responsibility for raising other people's children, but are very sensitive to our child's behavior.
When my wife is alone with our daughter, then throughout the whole day she can see and discover peculiarities of our daughter's behavior and then tell me, so we could understand how to best give example and influence her.
When our girl was very small, she ate little and slept very much. But the older she became, the faster the period of her wakefulness increased and sleep time shortened. And if at first she lay quietly and looked at the world around her, then she wanted to touch and taste everything. And when she began to walk, she became interested in the structure of everything in our house.
We introduced a daily routine for the child and tried to stick to this schedule, not paying attention to whims and our daughter's unwillingness to follow these rules. As a result, she got used to the fact that when there was a call to eating, bathing or sleeping, she needed to leave everything and engage in what we announced. If during breastfeeding the child herself reminded us that mealtime had come, then when she began to eat independently, we had to insist that all her little affairs be postponed and she sit in her chair for eating. Even on tourist trips we tried to observe the daily routine and give food on time. The exception could only be visits to guests, but even here we explained to our daughter that we would be fed when it's customary in this house.
I decided for myself not to bring my work and everyday problems into the house, but always enter with good mood and rejoice in another meeting with my household. And if some unpleasantness happened at work, I tried to remove it from my heart and give it to Jesus before I crossed the threshold of my home. As a result, my household knew that when dad comes, then love, joy and blessing of his presence come with him. Constancy in such an approach made each of my homecomings a holiday, and when I managed to come earlier, this caused special joy. And this pulled me to return to my household more quickly and taste their joyful experiences, giving all of myself to them. I tried to come from work at the same time, and when I was delayed, I would call my wife and explain the reason for the delay, and she would inform our daughter that dad would come later because work issues needed to be resolved.
My spouse and I also developed certain rules of behavior and relationships in our house and monitored that our daughter strictly observed them. The word of father or mother was law for everyone, and we monitored what we said or required, and were unyielding to our daughter's desire to break our rules to indulge her egoism.
I noticed that a child very quickly assimilates rules of behavior and carefully monitors that we also observe them. For example, we taught our daughter during walks to walk only on the sidewalk and not go out onto the roadway. She quickly learned this and raised a cry of indignation when she saw that I was breaking this rule and walking on the road where cars drive, even if nothing threatened me. I immediately apologized for my violation and moved to the pedestrian zone.
If we introduced some prohibition, this was a prohibition forever and if possible for everyone.
In spiritual development we had time for prayer and reading, which we allocated every evening, and on weekends we gathered in the mornings too. On working days my wife often had to conduct morning inspirations with our daughter without me, since I usually left before the child woke up. And while I worked, my wife and daughter learned another God's promise and reflected on how and when it could be useful in life. And when I came from work, our daughter would tell me what she had learned and how important it was to know. We were amused by how she put our guests and acquaintances in an awkward position when she asked them what verse they had learned today and what it meant. Her childish sincerity reproved our friends better than any sermon, and after this they tried to prepare Bible verses before coming to us to worthily answer all children's questions.
Questions for Reflection
Please read Deut.6:6-9; 32:46-47; Luke.9:62; 1Tim.4:16; 5:8; Deut.11:10-12; Prov.12:10,28; Is.38:19; Joel.1:3 in light of this lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? What constancy in the family is discussed in this lesson? What advantage does family constancy give? Why is it important that there be constant requirements, expectations and laws in raising children? How does a child feel if something is forbidden to him, then allowed, then forbidden again, and so always? Should parents themselves have firm principles before teaching this to their children? Do fair requirements of parents form something solid in the child's character? How should family constancy be expressed and manifested? Give examples of some principles. Should there be a certain goal in constancy toward which the child should be led? Should constant family principles be based on God's will? Are children under protection when there's certain constancy in their upbringing? What examples of family constancy in upbringing do you encounter in the Bible?