Once our friend asked to visit us, having warned us in advance that he wanted to tell us something important and useful about raising children. We understood that my wife and I were about to hear something interesting, and perhaps unpleasant, and therefore began praying about this meeting, asking God to reveal truth to us and speak through this person.
Coming to our home, he immediately suggested we pray and in prayer asked that the Holy Spirit would guide the course of our conversation and speak through him only what would be important and relevant for us. We gave our agreement in our response to prayer and, taking our notebooks, began to listen attentively.
Our visitor began by reminding us that our world is a very dangerous territory where a gang of spirits of wickedness in heavenly places operate, who plan to steal, kill and destroy our child, and we shouldn't relax and be touched, noticing how the little being sins and shows fleshly nature, attributing everything to her young age. We already understood this and very carefully watched our daughter's behavior, discussing all her antics between ourselves, but an extra reminder about the danger surrounding us once again invigorated us, and my wife and I became very attentive, giving each other to understand that the time had come for special prayers.
We began to write down all subsequent advice and recommendations and decided to later pray about each point separately, and here we wanted to share with you some of the advice we heard from our friend.
Do everything possible so that your child gets to Eternity together with you. Eternity is worth fighting for and ending up in. Always remember that you're not alone in your struggle for your family's happiness, that the entire Heavenly host led by the Godhead is always ready to protect, educate and lead you through life, cooperating with you in all questions of upbringing when you call upon this host in prayer and entrust yourselves to the care of Heavenly Forces. Do everything possible to bring your daughter not to church, but to Jesus, and teach her to have her personal relationship with the Savior, loving Him with all her soul, heart and understanding. And let Jesus Himself with your help give her to understand at the right time where His church is and what's needed to become its member. The enemy of the soul hasn't died and walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour, and he must be resisted with firm faith, keeping faithfulness to God's principles. In the state where we live, our children don't belong to parents but are property of the state, and it can take our child at any moment and accuse us of violating children's rights that no one knows. In punishing your daughter you should show special wisdom and love so that the child understands why he's being punished and sees the logic of this consequence. Never punish your children in the presence of strangers or other children. Let this process always be hidden from curious eyes and be your family secret that even children shouldn't tell anyone. Physical punishment is an extreme and undesirable measure of stopping crime and should be done with the child's agreement, who understood why he's being punished. It shouldn't cause trauma or moral humiliation to the child from you being stronger. Don't enter into open conflict with authorities or the education system for the right to raise your child as you see fit if you see inadequacy on their part. But teach the child to wisely resist all evil and have personal attitudes regarding good. You are a personal example of behavior, any reform and obedience for your children. They will subconsciously copy you and live as you live. When forbidding something to children, always explain to them the reason for the prohibition, which should be based on your love for them. Also offer better choice, adding your enthusiasm to this. Be consistent in your rules and orders and don't violate them yourselves. Children are very attentive and won't give you chances for justification if you yourselves don't observe what you forbid them. It's 10 times more difficult and dangerous to raise a child in the city than in the countryside. Therefore do everything possible to leave big cities. As long as possible, keep the child with you, not giving him to educational or upbringing institutions. Home should become his main school and center of influence. Do everything possible so your children don't study in worldly schools where they'll become easy prey for the enemy and learn the depths of satanic deceptions. For personal comfort or rest don't accustom children to playing computer and phone games or watching worldly TV programs. For minutes of today's peace you'll have to pay with years of anxiety in the future. Learn now to tell children about God, about His love and law, and then in the future you won't have to tell God about your children. When you see that your human strength and patience aren't enough to restrain yourself, then ask God for help, and He will give you wisdom how to act. Remember that the church is a hospital where different people can be, and it's worth understanding into whose hands you're entrusting your child, and what influence is exerted on your child during children's lessons or programs. When choosing friends for your children, have close communication with their parents too, exchanging experiences of your upbringing and understanding what influence they have on their and your children. Your child is your most basic missionary field that you cannot leave with impunity and engage in something more useful, in your opinion. Listen to advice from people who have wonderful children, and also learn from mistakes of those whose children went into the world and don't want to hear anything about God. Love each other so that your children know and see this. Speak about your love for each other in the children's presence. Never shout at a child or beat him in the presence of other people. They may complain to appropriate authorities that you cruelly treat children, and they'll take them from you forever. Never scold children for their honesty and sincerity, even if they confess very bad things to you. Then they won't deceive you and will tell you everything that happens to them. Show your children that God is the Most Important in your life. Then they'll have the opportunity to make Him the head of their life too. Never sort out your relationships in the children's presence so they're never witnesses to your bad words and indignation. Although upbringing principles are the same for everyone, each child is unique in his perception and needs such a unique approach to him considering his peculiarities. In the most difficult and hopeless situations only prayer until answer will help. Don't stop praying for your disobedient children. Don't be afraid to be strict, but don't stop loving your children. Children feel your unconditional love well and expect it from you.
Questions for Reflection
Please read Deut.6:4-9; Prov.22:6; 27:9; Ps.72:24; Heb.13:5; Matt.6:33; 1Pet.5:7-10; Eph.5:25; 6:4,11-13; Deut.12:28 in light of this lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? What other advice not described in this lesson came to your heart that you would like to share? Should one listen to others' advice on raising children or is it better to have one's own experience? Why is it more interesting to learn from others' mistakes than from one's own? Can wise advice change something in your approach to raising children? What should you do if I'm advised to do what I already know? Why do people love to give advice? How to distinguish useful and wise advice from others? Which of the listed advice sounds to you for the first time? What advice on raising children does the Bible give? What should you do if I can't stand others' advice, but don't know how to raise a child? Does each generation have its specificity in raising children?