It's accepted that the age of children who grow and are raised in love and fear of God is divided into several stages that smoothly transition from one to another. Until five years old parents serve the child, from five to ten years the child serves the parents, from ten to thirteen parents befriend their children, and from thirteen and beyond parents love their teenagers and cooperate with them.
Until five to seven years the main formation of the mind occurs, and during this period the child can behave unpredictably. While he's very small, he expresses all his desires through crying, weeping, grunting, and they even say: "Whatever the child amuses himself with, as long as he doesn't cry."
When the baby realizes that he touches and begins to touch different objects, then synchronization of the right and left hemispheres occurs in his brain, which are responsible for left and right limbs separately.
When parents show different objects and call them by their names, explain all their actions aloud, then visual and auditory perception creates an image of what's being discussed. Memorization of everything occurs.
The usual family vocabulary contains a certain set of words that are used in different situations, and it's easy for the young mind to perceive familiar words and compose logical chains in various expressions. We teach our baby speech starting from his birth, and very complex processes of analysis and visualization occur in his mind, which form logic, analytical thinking and reason. And when the child begins to speak, we're amazed by his vocabulary and ability to correctly and competently express his thoughts and desires. But we invested all this into him with our daily conversations with him and in his presence.
It's also accepted that the main formation of reason begins to form from the moment when the child tries to talk and exchange verbal information with those around. This is what distinguishes man from animals, that he has logical and reasonable speech and can control and plan his will expression.
The child's ability to walk makes him mobile and independent, and parents' obligation includes the duty to direct little steps in the right direction. Children cannot distinguish good from evil themselves and therefore can very quickly lose their temper and arrange "concerts," which isn't always pleasant for parents to experience. Children's whims, spontaneous cries and tears, laughter and exclamations of joy tell us that the mind of babies is still forming, and they need patience from their parents and understanding that not everything is so bad, and this will pass when the process of mind development transitions to the stage of responsibility.
Parental instruction and upbringing principles teach the child rules of life and establish certain boundaries in his worldview. God's Word defines good and evil and establishes good morals on a firm foundation. Therefore those children who are read the Bible from childhood and have principles of God's law and various rules of behavior explained to them are more inclined to conscious obedience and trust in God.
Baby Jesus went through the entire life path and all stages of growth and formation of personality and mind, and He knows what children experience in this or that situation, and how to help them in this or that question. Therefore, when parents cooperate with Christ in raising children, the Lord applies His spiritual conviction too, which helps children accept wise advice and instructions much faster and more correctly than happens without Him.
Until a certain age parents are representatives of God for children and have absolute authority with their household members. And if you ask a small child about his confidence in this or that truth, he will boldly tell you that his father or mother say so, and since they say so, then it's so.
Unbelief originates where there's no agreement between parents, and their behavior is inconsistent, when they teach one thing today and the opposite tomorrow, when they themselves don't live as they require from others.
Children notice all details and inconsistencies in upbringing and begin to get confused in this and compose their own paths and boundaries, which will differ from their parents' paths. By the child, by his behavior and thinking one can understand who his parents are, and who he'll become when he grows up. "Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right" Prov. 20:11.
Love between father and mother will necessarily be reflected in their children too. We simply cannot, loving each other with my wife, somehow relate differently to our little daughter. Strictness in upbringing doesn't speak of absence of love, but on the contrary gives love the correct form of relationships and certain boundaries, within which children feel their safety and can do everything they want. Love forms patience in the character of father and mother, and when necessary, long-suffering.
When I have a relationship with Christ and, following His advice, buy from Him gold refined by fire from Rev. 3:18, then this blessing of faith and love is given to me so that I can share it with all members of my family. And this source will never dry up, and my juices will remain with me when little "juice extractors" engage in their usual business of exhausting nerves. Love from above will help me wisely react to all attacks from outside and act according to establishing and affirming God's standards in my family.
Our children were created by Love for love, and when they receive what they were born for, they see the correct meaning of their life and don't worry about all kinds of trifles, maintaining confidence in various vicissitudes. Unconditional love of father and mother is a firm foundation for their children during various trials, and faith in God helps them make correct decisions according to the light received.
The main foundation in forming the child's personality is laid before seven years, and therefore it's very important that parents keep little children with themselves as much and as long as possible, not allowing the world to teach them other values and build their life according to other principles. One shouldn't fear that away from the world your children will become unsuitable for life among people and will be easily vulnerable to Satan's attacks. Having a firm foundation of faith and love, they'll be able to worthily meet and endure any trial, and God will grant them such wisdom that they'll master any sciences and knowledge faster than their peers and see everything in the right light.
It's natural for parents to get tired, make mistakes and lose patience. But knowledge of who their children are for God, what God expects from parents and how He cooperates with them will help not to give up and not lose heart, but day after day mold from soft clay what will then gladden them throughout all subsequent life. And love from above will apply its hand and decorate your relationships as nothing else can do. What we mold, we'll receive, and the fire of trials will affirm and strengthen all our and God's principles in our children's lives, and it won't be difficult for them to share what they consist of and who they are. Everything is in our hands and in our power until a certain age and time.
Questions for Reflection
Please read Matt.18:3; Eph. 6:1; 1Pet.1:14; Prov. 20:7,11; Gen.33:12-14; Jer.22:20; Ps.126:3-5; 138:13-18; Is. 8:18; 1Cor.7:14 in light of this lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? Have you ever thought that all children in all countries develop identically and consistently? Is it necessary to ask God for love for one's children whom you love anyway? Where do children get such ability to squeeze all juices from parents while remaining spontaneous and active? Why do parents have the greatest authority in the child's eyes? What happens in the child's mind if his parents teach one thing but live differently? How does parental love for children appear and express itself? Do you think it's easy in a family to love capricious children if there's love between their parents? Will it be right to keep a child away from secular educational and upbringing institutions as long as possible? Why does the Lord compare us with clay? Is.64:8. Are our children clay in our hands? Why are our children so similar to us?