You can never have too many friends. A friendly heart is like the sun. Beautiful flowers from God’s garden reach toward it, and weeds also need sunlight. If God has endowed me with this gift, I am destined to gain more friends whenever I come into contact with people.
At times, we are all actors and want to present our best side. But when a person is kind and friendly, it is impossible for him to play the role of someone mean and unsociable. It would be like trying to hide a burning candle inside your coat or failing to notice a city standing on top of a hill. Even if I desire to be left alone among my friends, there will always be those who greatly desire to communicate with me, rejoice in seeing me, and seek my presence.
I began noticing that among the multitude of people, there are always certain special individuals. It can safely be said that they bring happiness simply by standing or being nearby. Even when they merely pass by, everything suddenly feels wonderful. Yet they do not know this and would never guess it. I cannot explain this phenomenon, but some people bring blessings into my life simply through their presence. However, I cannot take advantage of this or ask them to stand beside me. I accept what God gives me through chance encounters or through these people’s decisions to be near me. I never tell them about what I experience because I do not want to make anyone uncomfortable. Perhaps this is only a feature of my own perception. Therefore, I learn to wait patiently for the next unexpected meeting or for the next time they happen to be near me.
But I know that we resemble one another in certain ways, and others probably experience the same thing in relation to me. It is very interesting to observe the people you love—to see how they respond when they meet you, what expressions appear on their faces, and how they reveal their feelings.
The commandment to love one another is beautiful because when we both obey it, it blesses us in the fullness of its beauty. It opens vast possibilities for happiness in communication and in our mutual love for one another. This is exactly what the Lord planned when He gave me this command. It is an order to be happy and to make my friend happy as well. That is how it is, and that is how it works in the life of everyone who sets out upon this beautiful path. The path of love and friendship is magnificent.
Those who bring joy to your heart belong to the category of welcome people whose company simply feels good. Time spent with such individuals can be considered full, meaningful, and beautifully used for the benefit of the soul.
Friends are the Lord’s reward for the love you ask Him to give you for them. They are a part of your heart living in another person’s life.
Have any of you experienced taking a small child by his tiny hand so that you could walk somewhere together? At that moment, you experience remarkable feelings. This little being has entrusted his life to you. He has placed his tiny hand in yours. He believes in you. You have been allowed to hold this little person and spend time with him. You walk along, receiving indescribable pleasure simply from holding this child’s hand. Then suddenly, he decides to walk on his own, pulls away, and finds something else to do. Friends sometimes behave in the same way, filling your heart with special, inexplicable experiences. Without even noticing it, we rejoice in these little celebrations of love.
If you have a friend who continually tells you of his love, brings pleasant feelings to your heart, and also rejoices in you, thank God for such a gift. Be happy that you have such a friend.
Have you noticed how quickly flowers open toward the sun? How they reach for the light and how beautiful they look beneath those life-giving rays? Human hearts open in exactly the same way when your love and friendship touch them and begin warming them continually with their light and warmth.
There is no reason to play the role of a mean and unsociable person if you are kind by nature. It will not work. And why would you want to do it? Let your God-given gift of friendliness find new hearts into which it can pour special blessings.
But people are different, and I have not been deprived of freedom of choice. If I see that a person is deliberately distancing himself from me, I do not tear down those walls but remain polite and patient. If even my friend has no need of me, that too becomes evident, and I must respect his choice.
If a person has sinful intentions and wants to draw me into his schemes by exploiting my trust and friendliness, then despite my love for him, I make it clear that our interests and principles are incompatible and that we should not spend time together.
The request “Be a friend” tells me that I am not really a friend but am expected to become one briefly in order to carry out some task and then return to the category of distant acquaintances.
When God gives me the gift of friendliness, He does not take away my freedom to choose friends or obligate me to maintain some special relationship with them from that point forward. I simply begin treating people as Jesus does—in unexpectedly kind and proper ways.
Evil company and associations can corrupt my good character. When I see that such an influence is present and directed against me, I take measures to remain faithful to God.
For example, I decided that the status of my friend lasts for life. Then a friend suddenly began behaving wickedly toward me or toward God. I continued to regard him as my friend and could not simply take him and throw him out of my heart. But I arranged our relationship so that while remaining his friend, I would not damage my soul or allow him to abuse my trust.
Jesus assured us that we are His friends if we do what He has commanded us. This condition does not reveal partiality in Him. Its purpose is to prevent us from abusing this friendship and to help us see the clear boundaries of what is expected and permitted.
For example, if my friend suddenly decides to create his own family with my wife, I do not think that would be a very friendly act on his part. Afterward, I would be very cautious and attentive in my communication with him, giving him no opportunity or support for his plans.
Of course, the members of my family are the first people whom I desire to have as my lifelong friends. If circumstances separate us, our friendship will help us maintain our relationship in the right spirit throughout our lives.
If I am single and decide to start a family, I should look not merely for a wife but for a lifelong friend who loves God—someone with whom I can then walk through life while remaining a friend. Not every female friend will be suitable to become such a close companion, but the Lord opens these paths to those who seek such a decision in God and in obedience to His will.
If my children regard me as a friend, it is easier to influence them and teach them obedience and faithfulness to God’s principles. In this matter, I should apply the full gift of friendliness so that I may gain faithful friends in my children. This is possible if I am honest and loving.
Like attracts like. A person who does not want friendship with me will quickly make that clear. Even if such people have already entered my heart and become my friends, their unwillingness to maintain the friendship will be recognized and taken into consideration.
Loving friends should be loved and made joyful by our love. And this is from the Lord.
Bible Verses for Reflection
Philippians 1:9; 2:5; Hebrews 5:14; Proverbs 25:17; 26:18–19; 27:14; 18:24; Matthew 5:45–48; 1 Corinthians 5:8–11; 15:33; John 15:14; James 4:4–5; Romans 12:15–16; Proverbs 12:26; Job 6:14.