Friendship has always seemed to me to be something very right and good. I did not have the courage to call someone a friend without good reason, because I understood that this title should be supported by a corresponding relationship.
For example, a comrade, an acquaintance, a casual friend, a colleague, a neighbor, or a coworker may all be good people, but they cannot be called friends. I may communicate with some of them more often and have a closer relationship with them than with my friends, but they do not have the status that signifies that a person holds a special place in my heart.
When I attended the camp meeting in Novi Obikhody in 2010, I noticed that I sat with the same people at every meal. When we eat together, we have an excellent opportunity to get to know one another better and talk about any subject. During my first visit, I had no particular plans for the event, but I noticed that the atmosphere of the gathering and the presence of the Holy Spirit prepared our hearts and opened them to closer relationships. This enabled us to become close to strangers very quickly and develop trusting relationships with them. Sharing a table made us feel like family simply because we had an hour and a half each day to talk about various subjects. What a blessing it was! This interaction united us as a group of like-minded people, and we became friends because it was pleasing to God. He took part in our fellowship. I registered for the following year, planning to visit that place again.
When I returned home, I began reflecting on what I had seen and experienced. I greatly enjoyed those gatherings and decided to conduct an experiment in intentionally making friends. I knew that the next time I went there, I would once again sit at a table with people I did not know, and I resolved to become their friend. I understood that this should not be merely a title, but a heartfelt decision—my personal choice and a particular status that would open my heart to a special relationship with those whose friend I had decided to become, joining my life to theirs forever in that role. In my understanding, friendship is unconditional and stable. It was on the basis of this understanding that I decided to build relationships with whomever the Lord would send to my dining table.
I began praying for these people. A struggle arose in my heart. So many fears and doubts came crashing down upon me! What if this happened? What if that happened? Why do you need this? Just live a peaceful life! These and other thoughts crowded into my mind all at once. But I decided to pursue my goal and see what would happen. I asked for love and friendship toward people whom I did not yet know and could not even picture.
Then the day arrived. I returned to the “Our Home” health center, signed up for Table 13, and resolved to press on to victory. I came to a meal and saw my future friends sitting there. I greeted them and began my speech: “You are the answer to my prayer for you. I have decided to become your friend, and you have no chance of escaping this fate. This is my decision, and it is firm and unchangeable. It does not depend on what you decide...” I continued speaking in the same spirit and along the same lines.
If only you could have seen their faces. They displayed a mixture of surprise, indignation, resentment, confusion, and alienation. I realized that I had started yet another foolish undertaking, but there was no turning back. It is not my way to change my decisions and retreat. During those days, I heard and saw all kinds of reactions directed at me. The Lord had not sent me soft and fluffy friends, but the prickliest hedgehogs in the world. One sister named Veronika, however, had beamed like a sunflower from the moment we met and listened to me with pleasure. Yet she remained silent. And so the seminar on friendship began. At every meal, I talked about how wonderful it was to have such a friend and how our relationship would bring us joy throughout Eternity. In response, I heard smirks, requests that I be quiet, and declarations that I would never succeed. But every evening I prayed and asked Jesus to give me these people forever and open their hearts to our friendship. A difficult struggle was taking place in my soul, but I resolved to continue to the very end and not surrender my position. The first day passed, then the second and the third. I kept preaching about love and friendship, but nothing changed. I felt like a strange person, but I continued giving myself to them. Then, on the fourth day, my friends from the health center invited me to have lunch with them. It was as though I had entered another world: smiles, joy, friendliness, and pleasant conversation. That evening, I went back to war at my own table to continue the battle. I sat down, ate in silence, and wondered how to advance further. Then they asked me, “Where have you been, our friend? We were lonely without you.” At that moment, something unusual began to happen. One after another, my friends began opening up. It was as though a dam had burst. Smiles appeared on their faces, and we began getting to know one another more closely. I began occupying the territory I had won and planting the banner of love and friendship there, because I knew we would soon part, but the banners of victory would go home with my friends.
How wonderful it was to experience the birth of new, close relationships, to enter open hearts, and to bring these people the joy of my love and friendship while respecting their freedom and considering their wishes. I had never imagined that such a thing was possible or how many blessings this friendship would bring to all of us.
I should add that we remain close friends to this day. These relationships have not fallen apart but remain strong. My heart is committed to permanence in this matter, even though we cannot always communicate continually and do not meet often. But Eternity lies ahead of us. There we will continue our friendship, come to know one another even more closely, and nothing will ever separate us again.
It was also interesting that before this trip, Sister Veronika—the one who had smiled at me from the very beginning—had prayed that the Lord would send friends to her husband, Oleg. The Lord answered our prayers and brought us together.
This experience opened a new chapter in my life and revealed a fascinating path to people’s hearts that I had not known before. Now I understand perfectly what it means to “show oneself friendly” and why so many friends are appearing in my life. Whenever I begin this war to win new people, it always ends with new friends in my heart. It is so fascinating! It is so wonderful! These people will bring me joy throughout Eternity. There, our relationships will bear the eternal seal of God’s love. That seal is already present here, but freedom gives a friend the right to break this bond unilaterally. In Eternity, however, this will never happen.
Being a friend is God’s plan for each of us, and it is something worth learning. Unconditional love for people leads me to understand that our relationships must be formally established and given lifelong status. Friendship makes them right forever.
Friendship in Christ differs from worldly friendship, although they have much in common and are even called by the same name. But friendship in Christ is better and stronger because it is unconditional and filled with love and deep affection of the heart. It does not simply appear on its own. We must plead for it, study it, and tenderly preserve it in our hearts, because being unconditional requires considerable spiritual effort and many victories over self.
The life of Jesus is the very best example of friendship. He is the best and faithful Friend, Who knows how to love and be a Friend without any conditions. The Lord desires to teach each of us to do the same.
Bible Verses for Reflection
John 15:5; Proverbs 18:24; 19:11; 22:11; 25:17; 27:10, 17; Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6, 8; 4:9–10.