There was a time in my life when I would read Proverbs 18:24: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother,” and try to understand what it meant to be friendly.
I knew how to be cheerful and funny, how to entertain people, and how to achieve certain personal goals. I could even quickly get to know people and gain their trust, only to lose it all later because of my ambitious nature or religious intolerance. As a result, many of my friends kept their distance from me and tactfully avoided communicating with me.
I read many books about friendship and saw it portrayed in movies. I always dreamed of having many true friends who would remain with me throughout my life.
But something was always wrong. I was too young for some people and too old for others. Some had no time for me, while others simply found me uninteresting. I saw all this and therefore did not want to force myself upon those who did not need me.
The people of western Germany have a particular way of life. They build their lives and their social circles within their families, and they do not let anyone else enter those circles. Everyone lives independently in his own little world, neither interfering with others nor taking an interest in them. The influence of this attitude can even be seen in the church.
At one point in my Christian life, I became acquainted with people who, in my view, were doing something for God, and I wanted to become friends with them. I began supporting them, communicating with them, and taking part in their missionary work. We spent time talking about how much sin surrounded us and how displeasing it was to God. Within the boundaries of our ministry, our group was quite close-knit. Yet somewhere deep inside, I understood that this friendship was conditional: as long as you are with us, you are our friend. Then, at one point, I decided to stop financially supporting this movement. This caused a rift in our relationships, and eventually they ended altogether.
I realized that I had simply been left alone in this vast Christian world. Those who knew me considered me divisive and were afraid to befriend me. And I did not know where to look for new friends.
But I had read that God has a faithful remnant—people who live in obedience and love one another. This was very interesting to me. I understood that friendship should exist, but I did not see it around me. What good did it do me that some people were friends with each other if they had no interest in me? All of this was foreign to me. By that time, I had already been in the church for fourteen years and had reached a state of complete loneliness. I did not know where to go from there. I understood the truth and the teachings, but I did not see in my own life the beauty of relationships about which so much had been written.
During this crisis in my relationships in 2009, I began asking God for love. He answered my request and began teaching me this field of knowledge. It was as though I had been born again. It was fascinating to compare what I knew with these new feelings and to see their complete harmony and beauty. I discovered a new Friend—Jesus. I began spending much time communicating with Him, and He began teaching and changing me. I longed so deeply to have many friends with whom I could share my new discoveries, but I did not know where to find them.
Then, through some people, the Lord gave me a disc containing lectures by medical missionaries on the subject “The More Excellent Way.” I listened and could hardly believe my ears. I had read so much about God having people who live in the light of His reforms and love one another, and I longed to see such a people. And now it turned out that such people really existed. But they were far away in Ukraine, and I decided to go there. I learned that they would hold a camp meeting in 2010, registered, and began preparing. I now had a goal: to reach the “Our Home” health center and see true Christians with my own eyes. I began gathering information about these people. I was warned that they were very closed off and did not let anyone into their community. But I thought that even if they did not accept me, I could at least observe them.
I invited a friend to come with me, and we set out. The bus dropped us off at the turn toward Novi Obikhody and drove away. At that moment, two sisters from the health center arrived. They were supposed to receive something from someone, but they did not receive it. They were upset and did not even look at us. It was an interesting first impression. Later, a car came for us, and I found myself in a special place where I began observing everything very carefully. I started getting acquainted with people, and my love was with me, but I did not yet know how it worked. I did not try to use it to its full power, nor did I know how. It was already doing its work, but I did not yet realize it. As a result, I became acquainted with everyone I possibly could and studied how the entire community functioned. I was very happy to have come to such a wonderful place.
Missionaries from Russia and from all over Ukraine came to the camp meeting and shared their experiences and needs. This also made a deep impression on me. I received great inspiration from that trip.
The Lord gave me many new friends, and I rejoiced that such changes had taken place in my life.
The “closed community” opened up to me, and I became one of them, which was a joy to realize.
But love draws me toward new discoveries, and I decided to go further.
The Lord opened a new chapter in my life, and I began reflecting on friendship—its depth, its influence, what it meant to me, and what it meant to be friendly. The love of Jesus gave me all these qualities; only certain conditions were needed for them to be revealed to me.
Limitless possibilities opened before me. The further I advanced in understanding this field of love and friendship, the more fascinating it became to try new things and receive remarkable results.
At one point, I decided to become a true friend to all my friends and to remain their friend always. But I wanted to conduct an experiment, which I will describe in the next chapter. This experiment helped me discover and understand the laws of friendship and see the beauty of this remarkable bond.
The Lord began revealing to me the depth of friendship, and I saw how closely love and friendship should be intertwined in the Christian family of the last days. This is so important.
If my love finds a response in the heart of my brother or sister but does not lead us to friendship, something is not entirely right, and such a relationship needs to be reconsidered.
If our friendship is conditional, sooner or later it will end. Conditional friendship has no foundation; it has only boundaries that must not be crossed.
Unconditional friendship is a decision of my heart. It does not depend on anyone else, but only on how willing I am to be such a friend. Yet I do not have the strength within myself to love and befriend others unconditionally. Christ has that strength, and therefore I must always ask Him for it. And the Lord gives it—far more abundantly than I can imagine.
The gift of friendliness involves the influence of the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit. Without Him, it is simply impossible to convince a stranger that you are his friend—one who loves at all times. But my friendship with my brothers and sisters in the faith is part of God’s plan, and therefore I can always rely on help from above in this work.
Jesus is the Very Best Friend. He desires to see His image in me as I interact with those around me. I will not disappoint Him. I will love, I will become a friend, and, if possible, the very best friend I can be.
Bible Verses for Reflection
John 15:14; 17:21; Daniel 9:23; 1 Samuel 19:1, 4; Zephaniah 2:3; 1 John 3:16; Acts 2:45–47.