It is written in Proverbs 14:1: "The wise woman builds her house..." The role of the mother in forming the worldview of her children is very great. She has the greatest influence on the consciousness of her little students and with her life gives them a clear example of how it's necessary to behave in difficult situations, how to relate to others, how to love and much more.
Father's authority is accepting him as he is with sincere respect, recognition by all family members of his headship, leadership, that he is God's representative and mentor. The foundation of this authority is the unconditional visible love of the father for the mother of his children and the same pure and constant love for all his sons and daughters. He is a spiritual leader and master of his word, fulfills all his promises, doesn't allow anger or irritation to destroy the heavenly atmosphere in the house, always actively participates in family life, affirms the influence of his words with his actions, adores his wife and is faithful to her under any circumstances.
But the role of the mother in forming her husband's authority is much greater and more important, and she can begin practicing it even before the birth of the first child. The woman's decision determines whether her man will be respected by her children, or whether she won't teach them this.
Forming authority for her husband in the eyes of his children is the most important science that any woman needs to understand, learn and make efforts to embody this knowledge into her life. Not all husbands behave as the Lord expects. Many of them by their behavior and attitude kill any initiative of their wives, but still one must fight for family happiness and create it where it seems impossible. A woman needs to overcome the innate selfishness of her carnal nature and establish the banner of Christ in her heart. The Lord will give His strength and wisdom to every woman who wants to make her home an impregnable bastion for the spirits of wickedness in heavenly places.
Any construction follows certain laws and requires much time. The beginning in building a husband's authority is laid in the head of his wife, when she begins to understand that this prerogative belongs to her and she can with her hands build something beautiful, or she can destroy not only the life of another person, but her own too.
A husband is arranged so that he needs respect, honor and admiration from his wife. He himself cannot reproduce this in her if she doesn't want to, and short-term or episodic manifestations of respect won't satisfy him overall. If he asks his wife to create authority for him in the eyes of her children, then she, not understanding what this is, may build something completely different from what he had in mind. A husband can and should win his wife's authority through his behavior, his care and unconditional love, but he won't be able to build this with her hands against her will.
The Heavenly Father desires to have authority for Himself and His Son in His church, and He has done everything that depends on Him. But not everywhere does the Lord have authority. Somewhere He is presented to the world as a "Life preserver," somewhere as a "Crutch" or "Emergency aid." But He is the Creator and Lord of the Universe, to Whom all His children consciously bow, with whom He is in absolute authority. But His beloved church doesn't always understand how she can create authority for her Head, and goes into the world to gain experience there and learn in another way to bring people into her ranks. What can we say about many families?
And so the wife decided to create authority for her husband. In prayer to God she declared her decision and asked Him for wisdom and strength from above, to do everything correctly. And the Lord began to reveal to her some laws of this construction, which she can very easily understand and apply even in the absence of her husband.
Children don't need to be proven that their father is the best dad in the world. It's enough to constantly tell them about this and behave in his presence so that children see what a respected father they have.
It's not at all difficult for a loving wife to find good character traits in her spouse and voice them in front of the children, explaining to them that no one has such a wonderful father. The influence of the mother's words will be indisputably supported and accepted by the little ones, and constant reminding about this will only affirm them in this truth.
The mother knows how to correctly present any action or word of their dad to the children. Even if he accidentally made a mistake or showed foolishness in something, a wise wife will find many justifications and explanations for his miscalculations and with her calmness will make it clear that nothing terrible happened, daddy is just tired and needs peace and rest.
From the mother's words children learn that their father is the smartest, wisest and very beloved, and that there are no other such fathers, and therefore their daddy must be cherished, loved and always listened to.
Upon arriving home, the husband will always see in the joyful meeting with his children that influence of mommy's words that she instilled in the children in his absence.
Mom makes many different decisions during the day, but she consciously reduces everything to the fact that daddy's decisions are the most important, and they need to be strictly followed, and with her obedience gives an example of how this looks in practice. Even if she disagrees with some of her spouse's decisions, she won't argue about it in front of the children, and then will resolve these issues in the best way privately. The expression that mom and dad decided something together will create authority for the father equal to their mother's authority. And if children act willfully, then the mother will definitely hint to them that daddy will be unpleasant to learn about this, because his word is law for everyone.
A wise mother won't appropriate children only to herself and keep them at a distance from their father. On the contrary, she will do everything possible so that her husband is actively involved in the children's lives and makes his irreplaceable contribution to their upbringing and formation.
Mom will admire daddy in front of the children and tell them about what a wonderful husband the Lord gave her. She will always have in reserve stories from their acquaintance and about how many blessings she now has in the company of this man. And then she will arrange a contest of who among the children can say more kind words and compliments to daddy, adding her own answers too.
Well, and if father does something special for his family, then mom immediately notices this and teaches the children to thank daddy for such wonderful deeds for the common good, thereby inspiring the head of the family to more significant actions.
Mom is always interested in organizing something for the family with her husband's participation, and she encourages children to be in daddy's company, praises them for supporting father in his projects, and herself participates with admiration in everything where her presence is necessary. And when children decide to spend time for personal communication alone with their father, then mom expresses genuine joy, because they will be able to spend their time in the company of such a wonderful person.
Since according to God's plan the father is the head of the family, the mother constantly reminds all children of this during daddy's absence and teaches them that God Himself established such family hierarchy.
She supports all her words with biblical texts and convinces her pupils that by obeying their father, they thereby honor God and receive special blessings from above. And then she reinforces her instructions with prayer for the head of the family and teaches children to pray for daddy at all times, and especially when there is an acute need for this. She practices the same thing in personal presence during the father's leadership in family worship.
Children accustomed from childhood to honoring their parents will know how to show this respect until old age and spread this influence to other people too.
The mother's gratitude to God for her dear husband will give children an example of how they should pray for their parents.
The father, in turn, teaches children that their mother is the queen of the family and that there is no one better than her in the whole wide world. And the greater authority the father has in children's eyes, the more convincing his compliments regarding his spouse will sound.
It's difficult to describe that children's happiness that the kids experience in the company of the best parents they have known since childhood and have been taught to love them for everything in the world and just because.
A wise mother will always present the father's words and expectations as something that must be obeyed out of a feeling of love, and with her personal example will support her husband with impeccable obedience in the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. Having such an example to follow, it will be natural for children to show obedience to the will of the Heavenly Father, Whose words are constantly read during morning and evening home worship services.
If children suddenly decide to show disobedience, violating their father's will, then the mother immediately stands up to defend the authority of the head of the family and explains to the children that such an attitude is illegal and will be punishable. Her words contain firmness and respect for the choice of other family members. And if she sees that the father's decision was wrong, she won't discredit him in the presence of children, but will try to figure this out privately, presenting this situation as a strange misunderstanding that needs to be sorted out, but at the same time not resist the father's voiced will, but fulfill what he expects.
If her spouse understands his mistake and haste in making wrong decisions, then it won't be difficult for him to apologize to everyone and thank them for the fact that they, despite everything, preserved the spirit of obedience.
Parents shouldn't be ashamed to show their pure love for each other in front of children. Let children be constant witnesses of how daddy hugs mommy, how he kisses and praises her for any reason, how he willingly helps her with household chores, spends time with her and gives her something pleasant. Even if it seems that children are busy with their games, it's worth remembering that they see, hear and remember everything that happens between parents. The atmosphere of love between spouses will have an amazing influence on children's hearts too. It will be very interesting for children to love the one their mom loves, and they won't be ashamed to express their love for their father, as their mother clearly teaches how to love and honor daddy, especially when he comes home from work.
The father, coming home after a hard working day, understands that it wasn't easier for his wife and, understanding her need for short-term rest, does everything possible to attract the company of his pets to himself and allow his spouse to attend to her plans and rest a little.
The wife always shows genuine attention to her husband's words, even if it relates to children. She gives an example, showing that daddy must be listened to attentively. She teaches children to show the same spirit toward everything they are told.
Children should understand that daddy is an imperfect person who can also make mistakes, and if they together with mommy noticed these mistakes, then the mother should point out to the children that right now their daddy needs their support and unconditional love.
It's also important for children to understand and hear that the final decision or word always lies in their father's power, and the mother teaches them to wait for what daddy will say in order to act based on his decisions. But the father should also show wisdom so that children don't manipulate this power. If the mother forbade them to do something, then they don't need to ask daddy for permission to violate the maternal prohibition. If such manipulations occur, then the father needs to stand up for the mother's honor and take measures to eliminate such a cunning spirit.
If the wife sees in children the manifestation of positive qualities or skills inherent to her husband, then she should inform the children that they are very similar to daddy in this and thanks to his care and instructions they can now so gladden her heart.
It's not difficult for a mother to teach children that their daddy is a leader and head of the family. And the fact that she puts the father above herself doesn't at all diminish her role in raising children, but, on the contrary, teaches them that since God established it this way, then it's correct, and there is special blessing in this.
Your children will visit other families and see how parents relate to each other there, and involuntarily compare these relationships with relationships in their own home. Also, other children will come to your home and see what order in relationships is present in your family. That respect and love that all family members show to each other will have their good influence on all guests too, who will understand that you are Jesus's disciples and your home is that place where God's angels are pleased to be and where it's pleasant for them to carry Heavenly light to all who come to you.
The influence of a family in which its members mutually love each other and respect each other's rights will always clearly testify to the entire environment about the wisdom and glory of God, Who is their Teacher and the Head of the husband.
As a rule, fathers tend to be the main breadwinners and spend more time away from home, and a wise mother will teach children that in this absence their father shows special love and care for the family, trying to do everything so that they have means for food, all necessary things and a warm cozy dwelling.
Children tend to take the behavioral model from their parental home into their future families. And if this model corresponds to God's plans, then it will spread to future offspring too, as God will remind and support those who want to be His witness in every place.
A wise mother will never humiliate the father's authority with mockery at his address, silly jokes and sarcasm. She won't support gossip or those conversations that will humiliate her husband or discredit him in the eyes of children. And if she learns that such information came from outside, she will definitely do everything possible to neutralize the harmful effect of such words and restore her husband's authority.
The wife's desire to build authority for her man will have God's blessing and approval, which will definitely be reflected in the children. Children accept from their mother everything she gives them and teaches them. And when the father has authority with his children, then it's very easy for him to convey to their minds those important truths that will help them be victors in any trial, for he who loves has fulfilled God's law.
Questions for Reflection
Please read Exodus 20:12; Proverbs 1:8; 14:1; 17:6; 19:14; 20:7; 31:10,26-31; Psalm 127:3; Ephesians 5:22-33; 6:1-4; 1 Peter 3:1-13; 4:8, in light of this lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? What is father's authority? Should the father himself behave in such a way as to maintain his authority? Why is the mother's role in forming her husband's authority considered more important? When can a woman begin forming her husband's authority? How should a woman act if her husband doesn't meet expectations? Can a husband independently build his authority in children's eyes if his wife doesn't do this? How should a mother speak about the father in the presence of children? What practical steps can a wife take to create her husband's authority? How does constant positive mention of the father affect children? What consequences can the absence of father's authority in the family have? Will a wife reap good treatment from children toward herself if she constantly builds authority for her husband? Was this lesson useful to you?