When I remember my childhood, I notice that the older I become, the more moments are erased from my memory about that time. Much is absolutely forgotten, much is deleted from the mind forever, but those few people who were especially kind to me, showed genuine respect, saw a promising person in me, for some reason aren't forgotten and always remain in my memory as those who were invisible inspirers and support for my childish self-esteem. Many of these people are no longer alive, but warmth and deep gratitude to these special messengers of Heaven still remain in my heart - those who saw something good in me and valued me for being a person, albeit small, but real.
Our children are full-fledged people who, growing up, are at a certain stage of development and will someday certainly become adults and of age. Much will be erased from their memory forever, but the good they experienced in childhood, adolescence, and youth will leave its indelible mark in their memory and will often remind them that there is good in this world.
Mathematics is an exact science, and it can very quickly penetrate the future and show you the real age of those who are still small now. Add any number to a child's age, and you'll immediately know how old he'll be after this time. And then look at how people of the same age look and behave. And you can be sure that your young creatures won't differ from others in intellectual development if you invest usual knowledge and skills in them.
One of my friends received a task from the church to conduct Sabbath school lessons with preschool children. And all parents were surprised at how eagerly children attended his classes and then gladly told what knowledge they received. And the secret of his success was that my friend treated each child with genuine respect and communicated with him as with an adult, showing interest in everything the children did and said. The children really liked feeling big and respected, and they, in turn, tried to maintain this new status with dignity and understanding.
We often underestimate our little ones, considering them still small and unreasonable. For a mother, this is just a child who was just weaned from the breast and who barely learned to walk. And when reason awakens in this little person and begins to gain momentum in its infinite development, then it's necessary to understand that according to God's plan, this person has the same need for respect for himself as a person, for self-identification, for determining his life path, for self-respect, and much else that is inherent in an adult person.
Criticism, nagging, reproaches don't develop the creative potential of a small family member but can create a complex of inferiority in his consciousness, make him fearful, weak-willed, and a person limited by fears. And he then takes this into adult life and drags this burden, afraid to show initiative or suggest more creative solutions to any tasks.
If a child feels like a second-class person in his family, then his natural development processes are disrupted, and this can lead to rebellion in the teenage period or to isolation in subsequent years.
Unfortunately, our society consists of many souls crippled by wrong upbringing who carry heavy consequences of disrespect and criticism from early childhood throughout their lives and don't know how to change and correct something.
But there's good news that hope for something better exists for such people too. God has provided unique opportunities for them to change everything. His grace and love are capable of working miracles of transformation and creating something new and beautiful in the soul.
But while children are small, much can be changed and corrected so as not to hinder them from naturally developing and living according to God's laws and principles.
If a child is disobedient, this isn't a reason for his humiliation and insult. Even being in a state of rebellion or revolt, he needs respect for himself and understanding of his temporary problems. Wise punishment quickly brings a rebel out of a state of rebellion, but a humiliating word causes injuries for a long time and leaves deep wounds in the child's soul.
Although reproaches and nagging from parents may seem fair and appropriate to them, they, like leprosy, block consciousness with the disease "I'm right" and deprive the mind of accepting wiser solutions to complex questions.
Humiliating a child is a sin because by this we blaspheme his Creator and make ourselves idols whom children should serve. And humiliating a child publicly is also destroying his authority in the eyes of witnesses. And what will such sowing lead to? One can imagine that nothing good.
Many parents have fears that they'll over-praise their little household members, and they'll become proud, arrogant egoists. And therefore parents prefer to keep children in "iron gloves," afraid to express praise or admiration once more.
We're given advice about excessive praise of ministers and about the harm of applause in church, but these rules shouldn't be applied to our household members who desperately need a kind word, a compliment, respect. And they don't want to have this spontaneously or earn it in some special way. The human heart thirsts for constancy in such matters and wants the parental home to be a source of these blessings.
Unfortunately, many people can't even count on the fingers of one hand those moments in their parental home when adults expressed respect toward them.
If I as a father am obliged before the state and society to care for food and clothing for my family, then I should remember my responsibility before God - to feed these people with respect, love, kindness, tender words, and compliments. Although this is spiritual food, it also nourishes the soul. And what happens to those who aren't fed, who are given kicks and cuffs instead of food? They go to seek this food on the side and ask the enemy of the soul to give them something similar. And the enemy gives a fake and makes the situation even worse.
Correct self-esteem protects the child's soul from many temptations. Seeing and receiving parental love, he is under special protection of this good, and it's difficult for the enemy to destroy such bastions of God's blessings.
You'll never over-praise those you love. You simply won't have enough imagination to cause them harm because there are so many good facts and characteristics in their lives that are worth paying attention to that there won't be a desire to dig in mistakes and shortcomings. And any mistake in behavior is a reason to learn something and reconsider something in one's life.
Respect won't harm the little one's mind. It won't cripple his soul or make him proud. This is what any child's heart needs at any age.
Any flower is more pleasant to grow when it's cared for and admired. But with flowers, we people sometimes behave more wisely than with those who are much better and more perfect than all plants.
Questions for Reflection
Please read Phil. 4:8; Ps. 126:3; Prov. 4:1; 14:1,11; 27:2; 31:28; Gen. 34:19; 49:3; Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:18-21; Job 5:2-4; Isa. 8:18; 1 John 3:18; 3 John 1:4 in light of this lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? Why shouldn't children be raised in the spirit of nagging and reproaches? What benefit do constant reproaches bring to the child's soul? How can wise reproaches sound? And can they be wise? For example: "Vasya, how could you act like this? After all, you're a future professor!" What do you experience when you hear sincere praise from your parents? What humiliates a child's dignity? Should it be understood that your child is a person who deserves respect? Why is it necessary to treat your children with respect, and others too? What benefit will developing self-respect bring to a child? Can correct posture also influence a child's self-worth? Should this be taught? Prov. 30:29-31. Can the upbringing you received in childhood influence the upbringing of your own children? Is self-worth some kind of accident or innate character trait?