God created us for one another—for good works, fellowship, friendship, and love. When I understand this and come into harmony with God’s plan, happiness begins following close behind me and stirring me from within by its influence.
The next eternal brick for the walls of my little house is called “I am friendly.” It is important to note that it must contain my own “I” so that it can take its place in my wall.
Friendship is a relationship of trust between people, based on love, respect, patience, mercy, selflessness, acceptance, and mutual affection. Shared interests can also bring people together into communities, groups, and circles.
When there is a desire, love for one’s neighbors can very easily develop into friendship with a particular person.
I have discovered two kinds of friendship.
The first is emotional friendship. In it, people are drawn together by all or some of the factors described above, but only as long as the other person does not cross the boundaries established in my heart or bring life to a crossroads of conflicting opinions. The other person will do what is good for me or accept the good I do. Such relationships develop very quickly and may last for years or even a lifetime. Yet there is always a possibility that one friend’s mistake may quickly destroy them. When a broken friendship is restored, emotional barriers arise that keep the friend within certain limits. Unfortunately, many people build precisely this kind of relationship.
Social networks on the Internet try to bring us together and call it “adding a friend.” Then they give us the option to “unfriend” someone. I become accustomed to this state of affairs, live by this rule, and bring it into my real life.
The second kind of friendliness is a conscious decision to be a friend and to accept one’s friend regardless of any conditions or circumstances. This attitude and decision have deep roots in a personal relationship with God, Whose character is reflected in one’s life. The conscious decision to be a friend and to act accordingly can be one-sided. The person who has made this choice and does not retreat when trials come remains a friend for life—ready to love, help, accept, forgive, and understand. Such a practice becomes a source of special inspiration and reflection about what else can be done for a friend’s happiness and how to do it. God’s love lies at the foundation of all such decisions; it is the chief motivating force and source of inspiration. The realization that I am a friend fills my life with happiness.
A special joy comes when two people draw close to each other after both have approached their friendship consciously. Such mutual relationships are especially valuable within a family, and a family like this can confidently be called happy. Its members constantly live in the atmosphere of Heaven, drawing heavenly angels and God’s blessings to themselves. They think about one another’s happiness, and as they achieve this goal, they experience that happiness themselves.
Friendship is an integral part of society. Without it, life becomes empty; a person becomes spiritually ill and lives without purpose or an understanding of life’s meaning.
After creating Adam, God said that it was not good for man to be alone. The longing for fellowship and belonging to someone is placed in every heart.
Believers draw close to one another very quickly, and their relationships often develop into one of these kinds of friendship.
Friendship is not based on age or sex. When a man and a woman are friends, their relationship always includes ethical standards and boundaries consistent with biblical principles and their culture.
Life and relationships in sin cannot be called friendship, even though shared interests or evil deeds may closely bind people together, even against their will. This kind of friendship does not bring happiness, but it does give people a sense of belonging to their group or community.
When people speak different languages, even close relationships between them are unlikely to become a deep, mutual friendship, because friendship involves communicating in a language both can understand.
Whoever desires to have many friends must also be friendly.
I am living through this experience and seeing how this rule works in my life. Long ago, I decided that I would have no former friends: everyone must be either a present friend or a future one. It can be difficult to sort this out, but my decision always shows me the best way out of any interpersonal crisis. When you love your friends at all times, you see a great deal in both them and yourself, yet a friendly spirit helps you notice the virtues and better aspects of life while covering faults with love and mercy. You may have to endure ridicule, betrayal, slander, and rejection, but love for a friend knows how to forgive all these things and wait for change and better times. A special joy comes when your friend returns because he sees that you are genuine and steadfast.
Yet my decision to be a friend does not deprive my friends of their freedom of choice. I respect their decisions and accept them as they choose to be.
Although a friendly person readily enters into relationships, he still remains discerning. Friendship with those who do not share your faith can prove dangerous to the soul. One way or another, we influence each other, and that influence leads either to life or to death.
Therefore, the best decision in life should be to establish a friendship with Jesus, our personal Savior from sin. He is a true Friend. He will never betray or abandon us. He is faithful to His promises and always fulfills them, although not always in the way I desire. He is an expert in every occupation, profession, and aspect of human life. He understands every detail perfectly and always has the best solution to every problem and task. Nothing is too difficult for Him. He never changes and remains faithful to His principles and to His friendship. Friendship with Him, together with His example of friendliness, teaches me how to relate properly to my earthly friends. By His example and His Spirit, He lays the foundations of love and friendship in my heart and then helps me become firmly established in them.
Jesus is the very best Friend. When I have Him, it is much easier to live amid difficulties and trials. He is always near to help and support me.
Christ also has many helpers: good angels who gladly guard us in all our ways so that our feet will not stumble and we may stand firm.
I am friendly. This is a special kind of inspiration and a way of life. I have chosen this path for myself, and I am very happy. My friends know me and may have personally experienced the influence of my friendliness upon their lives. They are special people in my heart; they know this and respond in kind. When I decide to be a friend, I ask God to establish me in this decision, teach me, and place His seal upon my choice. I see how His intervention makes me steadfast. Yet in all my decisions I remain free and may determine for myself when and how my friendship should be expressed, when I should remain silent, or when we should be apart for a time. None of these factors affects my attitude toward those whom I have chosen as friends for life.
Sometimes the decision to be a friend remains one-sided, and I must carry it throughout my life, waiting and hoping for change and believing that it will come. Then, even when no friendship exists between us, my faithfulness to my decision to be friendly brings me joy.
Bible verses for this chapter:
Proverbs 17:17; 18:24; 27:9; 26:24–25; Song of Solomon 2:9; Colossians 3:12–17; 1 Peter 3:8–9; Acts 2:44–47; 2 Timothy 3:1–5