As I gain friends, I try to be sincere and genuine. Not everyone understands or perceives me in the same way, and not every friend is quick to open up to me and draw close. I respect my friends’ freedom of choice and do not impose myself upon anyone. At the same time, I periodically remind them of my presence and participate in the needs of others when I see that I can help.
Some people come to know me more closely, while others keep their distance. But whoever my friend may be, within my heart I choose love and friendship toward that person and remain committed to this choice.
Every interaction I have with a friend also brings trials into our fellowship. I do not know what surprises the enemy of the soul is preparing for us, but I know for certain that he will try to destroy what the Lord is building. God permits our love to be tested and invites us to enter this fire.
Knowing that some misunderstanding for which we are unprepared may arise in our friendship, I invite my friend to be honest and sincere in everything and immediately share anything that may enter our relationship and harm it. These may be very pleasant experiences or bitter disappointments.
I know the story of a friendship that was tested by fire. Adam and his wife enjoyed friendly fellowship with their Creator, Who personally came to them in the cool of the day and had a beautiful relationship with them. Day by day, they came to know one another better and better and lived in constant joy because of this fellowship. They could ask God any question and immediately receive the wisest and most correct answer. The Creator sought to give His children everything they needed and explain everything that interested them. Their friendship grew and became stronger every day. Each new day brought discoveries and blessings that greatly gladdened the heart. Everything around them had been made with love and for love. The first human beings lived in the atmosphere of Heaven, and nothing clouded their happiness. They knew God personally, face to face. They knew His voice and discovered the beauty of His character through personal fellowship.
But someone came who decided to share his opinion about God. This unfamiliar ‘well-wisher’ appeared very attractive, and his words were quite persuasive. At first, he spoke through an animal called a serpent, thereby attracting the attention of Adam’s wife. A talking serpent was something unusual even to people accustomed to seeing miracles. And the words he shared made her think. Before the woman stood someone who knew the Creator very well and had decided to initiate this curious woman into secrets of God’s soul about which she had never even suspected. What the serpent said was new and attractive. Adam’s wife learned from her new conversational partner that their Heavenly Friend was concealing very important things and did not desire to initiate humanity into the mysteries of good and evil, forbidding them to do what would open their eyes and give them knowledge.
Eve could have gone and consulted her husband and then asked the Lord Himself about what she had learned, hearing firsthand an explanation of what interested her so greatly. But for some reason, she decided to believe the serpent and ate the forbidden fruit. The enemy of the soul gained power over the will of the woman who had sinned and, through her lips, began addressing Adam, telling him what God was really like and how many interesting things He concealed under the guise of prohibitions. Adam could have called upon God’s name, consulted his Heavenly Father, and heard God’s opinion about the questions that had arisen. He knew his Creator personally and had a close friendship with Him. I believe the Lord would not have left Adam ignorant concerning Himself if Adam had desired to learn the truth from the Original Source. But the man preferred to trust the enemy of the soul and violated God’s prohibition by eating the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. The very name of the tree indicates that sin contains something good that may appear quite proper and right. But the presence of evil within this good makes such fruit unfit to eat, because it brings death.
A similar story is repeated very often in our time. If I have decided to be someone’s friend and desired to love and be a friend, there may be people who want to save my friend and me from our friendship. Such ‘well-wishers’ may be complete strangers, or they may turn out to be our closest friends.
I remember an occasion when I decided to become the friend of someone whose joyful spirit interested me. First, I made this decision within my heart and asked for God’s blessing upon it. Then I told the person, who was still a stranger, that I had decided to become his friend. This greatly surprised him and turned his whole life upside down. Immediately, information began coming to me from every direction about what this person was really like, how many problems he caused, and how dangerous he was. I became uneasy. But my decision to be his friend remained in force, and I desired to investigate everything personally. I chose to love the person I had selected and to form my own opinion of someone who had so many enemies. The Lord revealed and showed me many things within this relationship. I personally became convinced that my friend had imperfections of character, but they did not prevent our friendship. I accept him as he is without agreeing with what I see differently. This person understands perfectly well that I know everything about him, yet with this knowledge I remain a friend who loves at all times. I do not share with anyone what I know about my friend. I can discuss certain details of my knowledge only with Jesus. This attitude preserved our friendship, and I am clean before my friend because I am not rescuing all his other friends and acquaintances from him.
In communicating with my friends, I make an agreement with them that we will share with one another everything that may bring misunderstanding into our relationship. Together, we resolve many questions.
To my surprise, ‘well-wishers’ appear who decide to save my friends from friendship with me. I do not try to learn their names, because they prefer to perform their ‘good deed’ anonymously. In response to such actions, however, I can present only myself, tell the whole truth firsthand, and explain what motives and feelings I have in one matter or another. If my friend decides to clarify things and hear my opinion about myself, I gladly share it. I think only the Lord knows me better than I know myself, so I always have something to tell.
I communicate with my close friends more than with the ‘well-wishers.’ Yet for some reason, a minimum amount of information about me—information that is not always current—can sound more convincing in the ears of a friend who knows me better than anyone else.
The Bible warns us that gossipers and those who carry the secrets of others can become dangerous ‘well-wishers’ with whom it is better not to associate. I try to follow this rule, but I cannot shield my friends from such a spirit. Therefore, I enter this trial of friendship with pain in my heart, understanding that such conversations with outsiders may separate us forever without cause. Unfortunately, some believe rumors, and I become someone I am not, bringing our friendship to an end. But fortunately, there are people who decide to hear my opinion about myself as well, and every doubt is dispelled. We continue loving one another and are very happy.
Bible Verses for Reflection
Genesis 3:1–13; Amos 3:3; Ecclesiastes 4:9–12; Leviticus 19:16; Proverbs 11:13; 16:28; 18:8; 20:19; 26:20–26; Psalm 15:1–3; 101:5–7; Luke 3:14; 5:29–39; Mark 2:15–28; John 21:20–22; Revelation 12:10; Romans 1:28–32.