Can a family be formed without God’s blessing? Yes, but it is better with His blessing. Can food be eaten without prayer? Yes, but it is better with prayer. Can you arrange your life without God? Yes, but with God it is safer and more interesting. Can you inherit Eternal Life without faith in Jesus Christ? Yes—but only if you add the prefix ‘im-’ to make it impossible. Can you build an Eternal relationship with someone without God? You can call it that, but it will be an earthly and temporary relationship.
If we imagine Eternity without God, it would be unceasing darkness and anguish of spirit. Fortunately, such a thing is impossible.
Many times I have watched families being formed as newlyweds declare their consent to become husband and wife. First, according to the law of the country, they make this declaration at the civil registry office. Then, if they desire, they ask for God’s blessing upon their marriage before their church, making marriage vows and promises of marital faithfulness to one another.
After such ceremonies, two people are declared husband and wife, and society regards their union as a family with all the resulting rights and responsibilities.
But why is it necessary to ask for God’s blessing upon the union of two people? They love one another, and everything is going well. I know Uncle Vanya, who lived happily with Aunt Anya without God, and they lived in perfect harmony. Why is a church wedding necessary?
Someone else has decided that there is no need even to form a family, because the main thing is to love one another. Therefore, they can live together without registering the marriage. It is enough briefly to inform God of their intentions, although even that is generally unnecessary.
I think believers immediately recognize the trap within these questions and statements. In regard to marriage, it is customary within the church community to arrange everything with God’s blessing. And this is right.
But what about friendship and love? I desire to have a friend, but I do not have one. I ask the Lord to send me such a person, and the Lord answers. Someone who is after my own heart appears in my life. I may receive this friend immediately, or I may wait for years. But now the person has appeared and has become my friend. What comes next? Do we go and ask for God’s blessing upon our friendship? Do we make solemn vows before the entire church that we will be faithful friends until death separates us? I have not yet experienced such a miracle of friendship. Imagine what it would look like! Two brothers come onto the platform, or a brother and a sister, or two sisters, and the pastor solemnly asks before the entire congregation: ‘Dear Brother Vanya, do you agree, in joy and in sorrow, in health and in sickness, in poverty and in wealth, to take Brother Petya as your friend and love him throughout your life until death separates you?’ After both answer, ‘Yes. Yes!’ they are declared lawful friends. What do you think of that? Why are you laughing? A serious decision is being made. It amuses us simply because it is not customary and appears foolish in our eyes. I am not suggesting that you practice anything like this, but let us examine the question more closely.
Why is a blessing needed upon a family? It is needed so that this earthly decision may also be bound in Heaven; so that God can lead and direct the union, have the right to intervene and correct those who make mistakes, perform miracles, teach two different people to respect each other’s opinion and choice, and do much to make their life happy.
Even unbelievers understand that life is better with God’s blessing. At times, they are willing to pay money for someone to pray for them and bless them before God. The Lord respects people’s choices and gladly participates in their happiness. Jesus performed His first miracle at a wedding feast, turning water into a wholesome beverage. The Lord loves to bless those who rightfully ask Him.
How does friendship differ from marriage? It is also a union of two parties, two hearts that have decided to devote their lives to one another, spend time together, solve shared problems, perform different tasks, enjoy meaningful communication, and maintain friendly relationships.
Do these friends know how to be friends? Did anyone teach them this in school? Or were they born with a step-by-step friendship program already in their minds, which they will now put into practice? And where does the carnal nature go when two selfish people decide upon a shared friendship? Perhaps it dies of despair and fear and ceases to have strength and power over their friendly hearts.
I know some lines of verse about friends that say, ‘If a friend suddenly turns out to be neither friend nor foe, but just so-so… do not rebuke him—drive him away…’ The world quickly picks up statements like this and practices them successfully. If you have been rejected once, a second and third rejection will not be long in coming. The heart responds in its own way and closes for a long time or forever. Everyone is occupied with searching for true friends, and if someone does not meet that requirement, that person can be pushed aside while another is sought. Do you know where true friends are made? Share this ‘fishing spot’ with us as well.
The truth is that we do not know how to practice friendship or be friends, but we can learn.
God’s blessing upon any friendship and any relationship will never be unnecessary, and it will never be foolish to ask God to teach me this and bless my decision to be a friend.
But let us go further. The Lord commanded us not only to be friends, but also to love one another. Shall we again imagine a pastor blessing us to love each other? No? We will not?
Should we pray about this love, even if we have decided to love one another? Should I ask my friend whether he loves me? Or should I merely guess, or regard it as self-evident?
A prayer for God’s blessing upon my love for a friend and upon our mutual love will never be unnecessary. Love for one another is a lifelong union of two people that continues into Eternity. I bind myself with bonds of love forever so that I may learn it here and then practice it throughout all the unending ages. I am very interested in comprehending this science, and it is new to me. I was not born with such knowledge. I need the One Who knows how to love and can teach me.
I ask for God’s blessing upon my love and friendship. The Lord hears this prayer and answers it. It is based upon His Word, in which He commanded us to love in this way. Without Him, all my attempts to love will end in failure. With Him, I will have a blessing within agape. If my friend asks for the same thing, our shared undertaking, bound by us on Earth, will also be bound in Heaven. We will receive an answer from the Heavenly Father. If we are gathered in love in the name of Jesus, He will be in the midst of us. I, my friend, and Jesus—we love one another and form a strong triangle of love, becoming a firm structure for the sound construction of God’s designs.
By inviting Jesus into our love, I protect this union from various false accusations and attempts to destroy it. The Lord knows how to guard us and holds us firmly in His hand so that no one can snatch us away.
We pray to God and begin learning about one another, rejoicing that the Lord is with us. Can we be friends and love without praying about it? Yes, but I do not know for how long. The Eternal God must be present within Eternal relationships. He Himself taught that without Him we can do nothing. John 15:5. And without Him, it is not interesting either.
Bible Verses for Reflection
Revelation 3:20; Amos 3:3; Matthew 18:18–20; John 13:34–35; 15:4–5; 17:3, 26; Luke 11:9–10; 1 Thessalonians 5:16–23; Jeremiah 29:11–13; Ephesians 3:16–21; Numbers 6:22–27; 1 Peter 1:22.