We were created by God for one another—for good works, fellowship, friendship, and love. When I understand this and come into harmony with God’s plan, happiness begins following close behind me and stirring me inwardly through its influence.
Friendship is a trusting relationship between people based on love, respect, patience, mercy, selflessness, acceptance, and mutual affection. Common interests can also draw people together into communities, groups, and circles.
When we desire it, love for others very easily develops into friendship with a particular person.
I have discovered two kinds of friendship.
The first is emotional friendship. In this kind of friendship, all or some of the factors described above draw people together, provided that the other person does not violate the boundaries established within my heart or bring the relationship to a crossroads of conflicting opinions. The other person will do good to me or accept the good I do. Such relationships form very quickly and may last for years or a lifetime. Yet they may also be destroyed very quickly through the carelessness of one friend. When a broken friendship is restored, emotional barriers arise that keep the friend within certain limits. Unfortunately, many people build precisely this kind of relationship.
Social networks on the internet attempt to connect us and call this ‘adding a friend.’ Then they give us the option to ‘unfriend’ someone. I become accustomed to this state of affairs, live by this rule, and carry it into my own life.
The second kind of friendliness is the conscious decision to be a friend and accept a friend regardless of any conditions or circumstances. Such an attitude and decision has deep roots in a personal relationship with God, Whose character is reflected in one’s life. The conscious decision to be a friend and behave accordingly may be one-sided. The person who makes this choice and does not retreat when trials arise remains a friend for life, ready to love, help, accept, forgive, and understand. Such a practice becomes a source of special inspiration and reflection about what else can be done, and how it can be done, for a friend’s happiness. God’s love lies at the foundation of all such decisions and is the chief motivation and source of inspiration. The awareness that I am a friend fills my life with happiness.
A special joy comes when two people who have both approached their friendship consciously draw close to one another. Such mutual relationships are especially precious within the family, and a family like this may confidently be called happy. Its members continually live in the atmosphere of Heaven, drawing Heavenly angels and God’s blessings to themselves. They think about one another’s happiness, and as they achieve this goal, they experience that happiness themselves.
Friendship is an essential part of society. Without it, life becomes empty. A person grows spiritually ill and lives without a purpose or an understanding of life’s meaning.
After creating Adam, God said that it was not good for man to be alone. The longing for fellowship and belonging to someone has been placed within every heart.
Believers draw close to one another very quickly, and their relationships often develop into one of these kinds of friendship.
Friendship is not based on age or gender. When a man and a woman are friends, their relationship always includes ethical standards and boundaries consistent with biblical principles and their culture.
A life and relationship of sin cannot be called friendship, although shared interests or evil deeds can bind people closely together even against their will. This kind of friendship does not bring happiness, but it does provide a sense of belonging to one’s group or community.
When people speak different languages, even a close relationship between them is unlikely to become a deep, mutual friendship, because friendship involves communicating in a language both understand.
‘A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly’ (Proverbs 18:24).
I am experiencing this personally and see how this principle works in my life. Once I decided that I would have no former friends; everyone would be either a present or a future friend. At times, it is difficult to understand how this should work, but my decision always shows me the best way out of every interpersonal crisis. When you love your friends at all times, you see a great deal both within them and within yourself. Yet the spirit of friendliness helps you notice the virtues and the better aspects of life while covering shortcomings with love and mercy. You may have to endure mockery, betrayal, evil speaking, and rejection, but love for a friend knows how to forgive all this and wait for change and better times. A special joy comes when your friend returns because he sees that you are genuine and steadfast.
But my decision to be a friend does not deprive my friends of freedom of choice. I respect their decisions and accept them as they choose to be.
Although a friendly person enters into relationships quickly, he still remains selective. Friendship with those who do not share your religious beliefs may prove dangerous to the soul. In one way or another, we influence each other, and that influence leads either to life or to death.
Therefore, the finest decision in life should be to establish a friendship with one’s personal Savior from sin—Jesus. He is a true Friend. He will never betray or forsake us. He is faithful to His promises and always fulfills them, although not always in the way I desire. He is an expert in every field, profession, and area of human life. He understands every detail perfectly and always has the best solution to every problem and task. Nothing is difficult for Him. He never changes and is faithful to His principles and His friendship. Friendship with Him and His example of friendliness teach me how to relate properly to my earthly friends. Through His example and His Spirit, He lays the foundations of love and friendship within my heart and then helps me become established in them.
Jesus is the very best Friend. When I have Him, it is much easier to live amid difficulties and trials. He is always near to help and support me.
Christ also has a great many helpers: good angels who joyfully guard us in all our ways so that our feet will not stumble and we may stand firm.
I am friendly. This is a special kind of inspiration and a way of life. I have chosen this path for myself, and I am very happy. My friends know me and may have personally experienced the influence of friendliness upon their lives. They are special people within my heart. They know this and respond in kind. When I decide to be a friend, I ask God to establish me in this decision, teach me, and place His seal upon my choice. I see how His intervention strengthens me. Yet in all my decisions, I remain free and can decide for myself when and how my friendship, my silence, or a temporary separation should be expressed. None of these factors changes my attitude toward those whom I have chosen as friends for life.
Sometimes the decision to be a friend remains one-sided, and a person must carry it throughout life, waiting and hoping for changes and believing that they will come. Then, even when no friendship exists between us, my faithfulness to my friendly disposition brings me joy.
Bible Verses for Reflection
Proverbs 17:17; 18:24; 27:9; 26:24–25; Song of Solomon 2:9; Colossians 3:12–17; 1 Peter 3:8–9; Acts 2:44–47; 2 Timothy 3:1–5.