I remember an incident during my military service when I had a conflict with a fellow soldier from one of the Central Asian republics. To settle the dispute by force, he invited one of his friends. When they entered the room where I was sitting with my friend, they first tried to settle matters through discussion. When that failed, they started a fight. If my friend had spoken even one word in my defense, perhaps everything could have been resolved peacefully. But he sat silently, watching everything with indifference. When the fight began, he continued sitting in silence. Perhaps fear had paralyzed him, while I defended myself as best I could. In the end, my two opponents ran away bleeding. I thought everything was over and began putting my torn clothing in order. After some time, a commotion arose in our unit. A crowd of fellow countrymen of the soldiers I had beaten came for me and called me out for a confrontation. My fellow soldiers surrounded me. Among them were comrades in arms, friends, and soldiers on duty in our artillery battery, but not one of them stood up for me. As a result, I was left alone against a group of about ten men. Naturally, it did not end very well for me. But by God’s mercy, I remained alive, even though I did not know the Lord at that time. My term of service was nearing its end, and I was preparing to be discharged. I had to spend the remaining time in the infirmary.
My understanding of friends changed radically. I realized that I did not have any.
Before His death, Jesus taught in John 15:13: “Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” What did He mean?
Throughout history, God’s children have been persecuted and put to death. It was not difficult to identify them within any group of people. Peter’s sorrowful experience of denial taught many that a person can very quickly deny the Lord by speaking one careless word. When one believer was seized, people tried through persuasion, promises, or torture to learn the names and locations of others who also believed in Jesus. Faithful friends kept these things secret until death.
But Christ’s definition of love for friends applies not only to such events. It also applies in peaceful times when there is freedom. Today, we readily provide government agencies with lists of all our church members upon their first request because we understand that there is nothing frightening about it. Our social media accounts openly display all our friends and fellow believers to the entire world, including those we do not know. Any specialist can quickly determine all my spiritual interests and the distinctive features of my faith. It seems that no one intends to kill anyone. But this will not always remain so.
In our peaceful time, the church suffers great losses. Souls perish. As children grow older, they leave for the world. Those who remain often have hostility and disagreements among themselves, dividing into groups according to their interests. Satan could not imagine a better time.
We are approaching the point when a righteous and holy person will soon become the “odd one out” in the church. His fellow believers will cast him out because of his stubbornness and firmness. Unfortunately, this is already happening, though fortunately, not everywhere. In such a situation, how can a person lay down his life for his friends?
I will say honestly that first I want to find these people, make them true friends, and rejoice in the friendship. I have no desire to die and leave them alone in sorrow. But how else can I demonstrate my great love for them? Perhaps this definition has another meaning as well.
A little earlier, we discussed the fact that our life consists of time. If I spend my time upon my friends and their salvation, I give them a part of my life. If I decide to create a family with a friend of the opposite sex, I give my life to that person, that person gives his or her life to me, and together we belong to and serve one another.
The money we earn by applying our hands and minds to labor also contains part of our lives. To obtain it, we devote much time to our work. Then, in the form of the money received, we give this time to friends and relieve their needs. My money contains part of my life—that is, part of my soul. It is not merely paper but something that cost me a portion of my life.
At times, I have experienced the following. During a gathering, opponents attacked me, wanting to humiliate me or demonstrate their own importance. How deeply I wanted my friends to stand up for me and simply support me with words of defense and encouragement. Instead, they watched with interest to see how I would escape the situation and remained silent. I had to ask Jesus for help with all my soul, and help came. But how many times have I myself been such a silent friend, watching indifferently while the world dealt cruelly with my friends and doing nothing to save them?
When a friend returns to the world to die there, am I ready to lay down my life for him, plead in prayer for his salvation, and attempt everything possible to keep him from taking that step? To my shame, I must say that sometimes I do not even understand what I need to do. At times, I simply watch, regret his decision, and do nothing more than respect his choice.
When I first came to God and believed in Christ, I looked for a church not on the basis of true biblical teaching but on the basis of whether there were people there who needed me and would find me interesting. It was foolish, but this was how I searched for new friends and went from church to church, thirsting for friendly fellowship. I did not yet know the laws and principles of friendship we are studying, but I intuitively understood that they should exist among God’s people. They do exist, but the very best place for these laws is within my own heart.
When I write these lessons, I spend two hours of my life on them every morning. That time is enough to prepare one lesson that can be read in six minutes. I set aside this time in the hope that this portion of my life will benefit someone. Then, throughout the day, I review homework assignments and rejoice that my time has not been spent in vain. I thank God that in this way, I can give hours and minutes to my friends. How joyful it is to hear that they find time to receive my investment in their lives and spend portions of their own lives receiving it.
How much of our lifetime do we give one another through communication? Am I ready to lay down my life by reminding a friend that I am here, asking about his needs, and taking part in meeting them? Sometimes there is no time for this, and sometimes there is no desire. Work, work, work.
At times, I simply want to die for someone—to fall asleep and not awaken—and thereby give my life. But what would be the purpose of such a foolish death? It is better to live and ask for wisdom about how best to give my life for God’s glory.
There are many questions that are difficult to answer honestly. Inventing a beautiful answer is always easy. How many times I imagined myself a hero in future battles, but when they entered my life, I tucked my tail and fell. Yet Jesus teaches us.
The time is approaching when everyone who kills us will think that he is serving God by doing so. We will all pass through the fire. Some of us will burn in it, while others will be purified.
Love gives the correct answer to this statement of Christ. Love itself is the willingness to lay down one’s life for a friend without fearing the consequences, because love cannot live or act in any other way.
Bible Verses for Reflection
1 Corinthians 13:3; 1 John 3:16; John 3:16; 10:11–12; 13:1.