Throughout my life, I moved many times and, as a result, frequently changed jobs and places of worship. I remember that whenever I entered a new group after changing my place of residence or employment, I experienced strange feelings that I could not immediately explain or understand. I suddenly realized that people who did not know me personally already knew a great deal about me. It was difficult for me to explain the prejudice and cold attitude shown by those who had been given the commandment to love one another. At the same time, it was practically impossible to change the first impression of me and my behavior that had already formed in my neighbor’s mind. We were not received coldly everywhere, and not everyone avoided us, but relationships with many brothers and sisters never developed. I did not understand the reason for such behavior until I came to know people more closely. With time, many things became clearer. I noticed that there were carriers of information who very quickly evaluated you according to their own ideas and shared their assessment with others. They had an amazing ability to notice the sins and mistakes of fellow believers and to describe the peculiarities of any person in every detail, telling you at length what you should beware of in your neighbor. And the saddest thing is that I liked it. I knew very well those who knew everything about everyone and who could characterize any person very quickly and concisely. I did not understand the true nature of what was taking place until the Lord revealed to me the truth that this is a sin that sows discord and kills friendship, doing much evil and destroying heartfelt relationships.
The most sought-after and desirable temptation of the pride of life is to gossip about one’s neighbors. When you learn interesting details about someone, or better yet, the particulars of his “strange peculiarities,” this enters your mind like a delicacy. And in order to justify such sinful pleasure and give it a respectable status, a believer who has accepted a reproach against his neighbor usually says, “We need to pray for him!” After this, he feels like a holy and dedicated person. In our own eyes, and in the eyes of those with whom we are speaking, we thus become better than those whom we are discussing. What an exceedingly pleasant carnal pleasure! What delight! And the children of God drink this wine by the full cup.
From biblical history, I see what gossip led to in Heaven and how many souls were irretrievably lost. One of Satan’s names means slanderer. He portrayed the character of God in an unfavorable light and interpreted all of His motives to suit his own ambitions. As a result of gossip, division took place in Heaven and war began.
The sons of God became God’s enemies, turning into demons.
When a family falls apart, there are no winners on this battlefield. Only pain and suffering remain for both sides: one side experiences betrayal and the loss of the souls of loved ones, while the other is tormented by its own pride.
A proud heart exerts an enormous influence on those around it and is capable of convincing neighbors that they are better than all those with whom they live and associate. It always finds indisputable proof that someone else is ignorant and hypocritical and deserves to be exposed. The phrase, “Do you know what I found out...?” attracts thousands of people like a drug and provides a delicacy for their minds.
And in order to give a special status to this manifestation of pride, it was called news. How many Internet preachers of truth have now appeared, exposing the sins of fellow believers and displaying them before a wide audience, causing divisions in churches and the loss of many souls.
Love does not vaunt itself; talebearing is foreign to it. Love hates this sin. Love discerns the very fine line between objective information and gossip. It does not support those who go about as talebearers among their people, sowing hostility between brethren.
But proud people have a motto: “If you are not with us, then you are against us.” Then watch out—we will not forgive you for such betrayal. But if I accept these conditions, I hear, “Whom shall we unite against?”
How often am I interested in what people say and think about me? Love is far more concerned with learning what God thinks and says about me and whether my life meets His standards.
God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. When I seek ears into which I can pour a reproach against my neighbor, or when I listen to those who know many details about other people, I enter dangerous territory and risk becoming an adversary of God, losing many blessings of Heaven that I could have possessed.
Evil communications corrupt good manners. I have the right to choose the path that pleases me. But where will it lead me?
If someone considers pride to be something ordinary and attaches no importance to this sin, he should remember that the fall of one of God’s most beautiful angels began precisely with pride. And how did it end? We live in a world full of violence, disease, fear, and death. We should not give the evil one the opportunity to use our minds, or we will become his instruments in destroying love and friendship.
How should we fight gossip? What should you do when you realize that this spirit is taking possession of your mind? Love sounds the alarm and begins to fight. If it cannot change the situation and the subject of the conversation, it either leaves or begins to pray for those who are falling into this sin. It asks for wisdom and begins to defend its neighbors, pointing out their better qualities and seeking to establish for them a good name and reputation. Such behavior also has influence.
Once, my friends and I formed a coalition in order to make the people close to us happy. We gathered good information about them, shared it with one another, and rejoiced over what wonderful friends we had. In this way, we filled their hearts with joy and happiness in return. Love esteems others better than itself and is ready to praise, uplift, and bless them. It thinks no evil, but considers the happiness of its neighbor and decides to treat him kindly.
Love does not gossip. It does not support such reproaches against a neighbor, even if he deserves such treatment. Love draws wisdom from a pure source and feeds thirsty souls with the true bread of life.
Love does not vaunt itself; it loves.
The spirit of pride says: I am right, I am better, and this makes me happy.
The spirit of humility says: You are better, and this makes me happy.
Homework 55
Please read Leviticus 19:16; Proverbs 16:28; 18:8; 20:19; 26:20; and Revelation 12:10, and consider these verses in the light of our lesson. Did you receive any revelations while studying this subject? Please share them. What did you understand from this lesson? How can a statement of facts be distinguished from gossip? How can I determine whether I have the gift of talebearing? What should I do if I have witnessed or participated in gossip?