God’s will is for us to love everyone. He gave us the command, "Love your enemies" (Matthew 5:44)—that is, those who are hostile toward us. They too must be loved. In fact, they are the best teachers and examiners of our love. They make no allowances for us. They require us to complete our assignment correctly while behaving in whatever way they please.
I rejoice that the laws of Heaven are at work on earth and that we can live by them even now. I see the difference between the person I was several years ago and the person I am today. God allows me to fall so that the evil living within me may be exposed. Through such experiences, God reveals the sin hidden within us because He wants to free us from it. To behold God’s love and truly love others, we must have a pure heart. When you harbor resentment, envy, or anger in your heart, you cannot reveal God’s character and His love.
"All things are delivered unto Me of My Father: and no man knoweth the Son, but the Father; neither knoweth any man the Father, save the Son, and He to whomsoever the Son will reveal Him. Come unto Me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light" (Matthew 11:27–30, KJV). Jesus calls us to take His yoke upon ourselves and learn from Him. He left us a perfect example of love.
When I ask God to teach me to love, He teaches me. I read the Bible and see on every page God’s love for imperfect human beings—a love that changes people. God’s love then begins to enter every area of my life: church, work, and family. I try to seek God’s counsel in everything, and I see how He helps me. Over time, God’s love becomes part of our character. But this is hard work because our sinful nature resists spiritual transformation. At the same time, this work brings joy because, in response to our decisions and actions, God pours streams of His grace upon us.
When I ask God to teach me to love, I give Him authority to teach me. Through particular circumstances in life, God changes my habits and tears down within my mind what displeases Him. I give Him the right to do this. God has limited Himself by my choice. From the lives of other people, I see how right God is in His counsel. I see the disasters that overtake those who travel the broad way, and I also see the blessings of those who walk the narrow way. God is right, and we are wrong. God’s ways are not our ways. God makes no mistakes. Who knows better than the Creator of humanity what will be for our good? As I read and listen to the books of the Spirit of Prophecy, I am amazed by the wisdom with which God sends us light. Through the examples of other people, He points out my problem and my sin, shows me the way out, and tells me what to do. First of all, I must turn to Jesus.
The best way to learn love is to study the character of Christ. We see His perfection and strive toward it. You will never learn to love by looking at me and trying to live as I do. You may reach a certain point, but eventually you will be disappointed. When we behold Christ, however, there is no upper limit.
"But as touching brotherly love ye need not that I write unto you: for ye yourselves are taught of God to love one another" (1 Thessalonians 4:9, KJV). This verse speaks of normal relationships among brothers and sisters in faith. Paul writes that we are taught by God to love one another—not by Paul or Peter, but by God. God is our true and genuine Teacher. By becoming human, He showed us how to live. I would like to recommend the book The Desire of Ages to everyone. It is the most beautiful of all books about the life of Jesus Christ. At this point, I have read it seventeen times. This book clearly shows us the example toward which we should strive. It reveals our human imperfection and shows what we can attain in Jesus Christ. I advise everyone to keep this book close at hand. As you read or listen to it, the Holy Spirit will surely touch your heart, and God’s grace will fill you.
A loving servant
One day, God showed me that it is better to be nobody than to put myself in a position assigned to someone else and try to hold on to it. At the time, I was working as a construction foreman. As I studied the character of the workers, I decided how best to deal with each person. One of my good coworkers parked a truck directly in the roadway. I approached him and asked him to move it because it was blocking others from passing. "Let it stay there," he replied. "You sometimes park any way you please too." "All right, then I’ll move the truck myself!" I said, heading toward it. He blocked my way, began shoving me roughly, and said he would not let me do it. If a similar conflict had happened earlier in my life, I might well have fought him in response to his aggression. But at that moment, I had no desire to do so. I stepped aside and continued working, although the anger and contempt had not gone away. I began to pray, "Lord, forgive me for thinking of behaving harshly." Then I realized that, to this man, I was nobody. Had that realization come to me earlier, it would certainly have wounded my human pride. But because the Lord had already shown me my place in this life and in this world, it was a joyful discovery to recognize that I was nobody.
Christ advised people at a wedding feast not to take the first place but the lowest one. It is better to be invited to move higher than to be asked to give your place to a more distinguished guest (see Luke 14:8–11). I had thought of myself as the person in charge, but I was shown my true place when I was told that I was nobody. So I decided: Very well, I will take this place. If you choose to raise me in your estimation, I will accept it. But if you want me to remain at the very bottom, I will stay there all my life. That is not a problem for me. I understood that I needed to take the lowest place and simply wait for my time. And if that time never comes, I should live in peace. There is no need to fight or defend my position. Let people determine my place for themselves.
There were other workers, however, who placed me a little higher and, through their attitude toward me, gave me a certain authority. Even when I occasionally exceeded my authority or demanded more than was expected of them, they did not argue with me. That also brought me joy. In one setting I was at the very bottom; in another, I held a higher position and could influence people myself.
Something similar happens in the spiritual life. When we are only beginning to love, the best place is at the very bottom. This is the position of a "loving servant" in the family or the church. People themselves will grant us authority. We need only preserve it through faithfulness to God and His principles. This is what God requires of us. We do not need to seek the authority of a dictator. Our task is to remain in the place assigned to us. Then we will avoid unnecessary problems. This important lesson helped me see God’s principle: "If you want to be above everyone, become the servant of all." Being a servant is a great blessing, but it too must be learned.
When we enter the path of love, God does not expect us to reach perfection immediately. He teaches us, and He knows that a day will come when we are firmly established in His love.
I want to share with you a promise that I have come to love with all my heart: "That He would grant you, according to the riches of His glory, to be strengthened with might by His Spirit in the inner man; that Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love, may be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height; and to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fulness of God" (Ephesians 3:16–19, KJV). This promise tells us that, with God’s help, we can learn the love we call agape.
The path of love
We have a perfect Teacher of love, and in His hands we are clay, which He shapes according to His will. He knows what to make of us and when to place us in the kiln so that we may become established in love. As He teaches us to love, He surrounds us with evil, sinful people so that we may understand how love works. He also sends us people who already possess love, to support us and make our trials easier. We all need this. But most of all, we need to learn to love. Even if I meet a loving person, I will not be happy if I myself do not love. But when I love, I am already happy. And when I meet someone who loves me, I am twice as happy. This is the purpose of love: to make us happy so that we may make those around us happy.
Will we enter this path? Many of us are already following it intuitively; many are already studying in the school of love without realizing it. It is impossible to encounter the truth, commune with God, believe in Jesus, and not learn love. Yet it is another matter entirely to study love consciously—when we understand what it is, thirst for it, and take definite steps to receive it. As a result, we will understand how God’s love becomes established within us and works through us. Then every testimony we give about God will have power.
God said, "Ask, and it shall be given you" (Matthew 7:7, KJV). Ask for love, and you will receive it. As we learn at the feet of Jesus, we will draw still closer to God and bear still more fruit. God’s love has the power to multiply. It has a beginning, but it has no end. Throughout eternity, we will learn to love as God loves, because He is love. And we will become as perfect as we allow Him to make us.
Jesus said, "I am the vine, ye are the branches" (John 15:5, KJV). When by faith I am grafted into this Vine, He begins to nourish me with His sap, which I do not possess within myself. I become part of the Vine, and His life-giving power gives me growth and development. My little branches begin to grow, and fruit begins to form on them, becoming fuller and more beautiful each day. At first, people may look at my small, sour fruit with a smile and make no attempt to taste it. But with time, I see the eager eyes of someone who longs to taste my fruit.
The Vine does not grow His fruit so that it may wither or rot on the branches, but so that it may feed and refresh everyone who hungers and thirsts. The more fruit I bear, the more the Vine will be glorified. But this requires time, complete unity with the Vine, and total dependence upon Him. The skilled Husbandman will prune away everything unnecessary, guide the shoots in the right direction, protect the fruit from pests, gather the ripe clusters, and at the proper time distribute them to all who desire them.
We need to ask for love
Why should we ask God for love? And what kind of love should we ask for? It is possible that we are asking God for a love entirely different from the love we truly need.
T-shirts often bear the message, "I [pink heart] you!" This world has reduced God’s perfect and infinite gift to the image of a pink heart—something we can see and touch. Naturally, we do not take such messages seriously, understanding that they serve mainly as decoration. God, however, reveals to us "great and mighty things" that we do not know (Jeremiah 33:3, KJV). Genuine love belongs to this category. It is comprehended more by the heart than by the mind. But first the heart must open itself to the influence of the Holy Spirit.
Why must we turn to God for love? Because He is the God of love. We read in 2 Corinthians 13:11: "Finally, brethren, farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace; and the God of love and peace shall be with you" (KJV). In this verse, our God is called not simply God, but the God of love—the One Who possesses love and shares it.
When we begin to believe in God, His love fills our hearts in part and even changes us to some degree, but we must earnestly ask God for the fullness of love. As the apostle James writes in the fourth chapter of his epistle, "ye have not, because ye ask not" (James 4:2, KJV). Every day we ask God for something: strength, wisdom, or courage. Why do we do this? Because asking is a condition of receiving.
God has commanded us to love with His love and has already prepared it for us. All that remains is for us to ask for it and put it to use. We must ask for the love that "beareth all things" (1 Corinthians 13:7, KJV). What does it bear? Everything—trials, difficulties, and joys. We must ask for the love that rejoices in the truth: first, in my personal salvation in Christ; and second, in another person’s happiness.
Two objects of love
In 1993, doors opened for the gospel, and I learned that God loved me. What attracted me most was the truth that God would not torment me eternally in the fires of hell, something I had greatly feared. I began to fall in love with such a just and wise God. Then I learned that Someone Else had borne my punishment in my place. I decided to give my life to Jesus. He accepted me and began to change me. It was a true miracle in my life. And then I came to love Jesus with all my heart.
"If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God Whom he hath not seen?" (1 John 4:20, KJV). I used to stumble over this verse. I cannot say that I intensely hated anyone. I liked some brothers, but not others. I understood that this was a problem that needed to be resolved. I wished the verse said, "How can you love your brother if you do not love God?" But the text said something different: "How can you love God when you hate your brother?" I understood that God loved me. It seemed to me that I loved Him too. Yet this had no effect on my relationships with the people around me. Therefore, He reminded me of the commandment "That he who loveth God love his brother also" (1 John 4:21, KJV).
When I grasped this truth, I began asking God for greater love, and I received it. I am firmly convinced that we cannot love our neighbor if we do not love God, and we cannot love God if we do not love our neighbor. I am not saying that I have attained perfection, but from my own experience I am ready to affirm that it is possible to love both God and our neighbor at the same time.
Today I share a special relationship and communion with Jesus that I did not have before. I love Him very deeply, and I am afraid of grieving Him through a careless action. He often asks whether I want to love a particular person and waits for my decision. And I try to make Him glad with my "yes!"
Do you love me?
One day, our pastor was conducting a seminar. At the very end, he asked the audience, "Do you have any questions for me?" I raised my hand and asked, "Do you love me?" It was interesting to watch his reaction. He "swallowed" the question and left it unanswered. A short time later, he again asked whether we had any questions, and I again asked whether he loved me. After being reprimanded, I did not ask a third time.
I sometimes ask my friends this question. I have noticed that when I ask it for the third time, many of them become upset or do not know what to say. This is how I understand it: when you love someone, you never grow tired of saying so.
Sometimes questions like this help us view things from another angle. The pastor whom I asked about his feelings toward me is a close friend, and he knows why I kept pressing him with the same question. Love seeks not her own, but seeks her own people in order to fulfill the commandment of Jesus. The question "Do you love Me?" is found in the Bible. God expects our love and sometimes asks us about it to help us set our priorities correctly. He does not ask this question of His enemies, but of those closest to Him.
When my daughter was six years old, I also asked her this question several times in a row. The third time, she became indignant and expressed her displeasure. Afterward, I explained to her that when you love someone, you never grow tired of saying so. She understood. From then on, she could tenderly answer twenty times in a row, "Yes, I love you!" and she herself could ask me twenty times in a row whether I loved her.
This question should be asked only of those closest to us or of fellow believers. Because it can sound provocative, we must be very careful and considerate. Not everyone will want to expose their shortcomings, and doing so will not benefit everyone.
The spirit in which you ask this question is extremely important. Love dwelling in the heart gives the right tone and meaning to every statement and every question.
Jesus knocks at the door in the hope that we will open it. He longs deeply to enter, but He cannot do so without my consent. What I decide and how I answer depend entirely on me. Through my choice, I determine what He can do.
Sometimes I ask myself: Do I love God, my friends, and my neighbors? My answer helps me understand my true motives and feelings. And the short prayer, "Lord, give me love for this person!" helps me take the right position.
God expects much from those to whom He gives His gift of love. He wants me to understand what a powerful weapon I am handling and to know how to use it skillfully. He wants me to know the consequences of love and not be afraid of them. There is no defense against love: it always triumphs and gives victory to everyone. Yet love is persecuted in our world, in our church, and in our families. It gives rise to fear and hatred and brings division—not because of its own nature, but because its opponents have chosen darkness. In that darkness there is no room for love, but there is a vast arsenal of destructive weapons. Love, however, builds up; it does not destroy.
Do you want to be made whole?
Almighty God has limited Himself by our choice. He has made each of us free. Therefore, before He blesses us and gives us His love, He waits for us to ask Him for it. At the same time, our request and God’s gift received in answer to it are valid for one day. I cannot use today what I received yesterday.
Each day, we decide to what extent God will be present or absent in our lives. What I receive from God in the morning will be enough for me until the end of the day. If tomorrow I ask for nothing, I will most likely not perish. The experience accumulated over my lifetime will help me make it through the next day. Yet I lose God’s support when I do not ask for His blessing and instead rely on my own strength, experience, and knowledge. These are clearly not enough to stand firm in the battle.
The one against whom we fight is stronger than we are. He knows how to kill, destroy, and ruin everything because he has thousands of years of experience. And who are we? People who have barely begun to understand anything and have barely learned anything. Therefore, every day we need the renewing power of God’s grace. This does not mean that during five or ten minutes of morning prayer we must recite all our requests to God. It is enough for Him that we have come to Him that morning. And in His love, He gives us more than we ask.
But there are things for which we must specifically ask God. If people who have reached retirement age do not submit the paperwork to receive their pension, they will receive nothing. No one will come to them, and no one will pay them a penny. There is a definite condition: a person must come and request what is due to him. It is the same with God: He has prepared all Heaven for us, but He will give us exactly as much as we ask for. When we ask God to make us like Jesus, however, we receive everything—love, longsuffering, goodness, and wisdom. Everything is included in that prayer.
John chapter 5 describes the healing of the paralyzed man at the pool of Bethesda. I see my own life in this story, although my illness lasted less than thirty-eight years. Seventeen years after accepting Christ, I realized that I did not have love. I understood this, but I did not know what to do. Then Christ addressed me with the question, "Wilt thou be made whole?" I answered, "Yes, Lord!" And He promised that He would teach me to love.
Christ came to me as He came to the paralyzed man, and He healed me. Only after His grace touched my heart did I begin to understand what love is. During the first year, I told no one about the gift I had received and quietly rejoiced that I loved. I rejoiced that my attitude toward people had changed and that I had begun to understand the Bible in a new way. In the second year, I began sharing with others the knowledge God had revealed to me during this spiritual training.
In the Gospel story, the Jews said to the man who had been healed, "It is the sabbath day: it is not lawful for thee to carry thy bed" (verse 10, KJV). He answered them, "He that made me whole, the same said unto me, Take up thy bed, and walk" (verse 11, KJV). The Jews were outraged and asked, "What man is that?" I experience something similar. Not everyone understands what has happened to me, but that has not made my condition any worse. I have understood that everyone who enters the path of love encounters a similar attitude.
"And ye shall be betrayed both by parents, and brethren, and kinsfolks, and friends; and some of you shall they cause to be put to death. And ye shall be hated of all men for My name’s sake" (Luke 21:16–17, KJV). This prophecy of Christ is being fulfilled in my life. I am certain that each of you will encounter similar hatred in your life. What does "for My name’s sake" mean? We know that God’s name reflects His character, and the chief quality of that character is love! When the love of Christ revealed in our lives enters the life of a neighbor, it moves that person toward change. Naturally, it meets a spirit of resistance. This resistance to God—this unwillingness to change for the better—causes people to react in this way. People are accustomed to obeying the desires of the flesh, and changing that is difficult for them. But genuine love is never exhausted and ultimately overcomes resistance. It works tirelessly until it reaches its goal.
The soil of the heart
Very often I hear this question: "Why do I ask Jesus for love, yet nothing happens in my life?"
At one time, I acquired a garden plot and wanted to plant a vegetable garden there. The entire plot was overgrown with grass, and the ground was so hard that I could not even drive a spade into it. Even if I managed to dig up a patch of soil, after the first rain the ground would dry out and turn to stone again. The soil also contained a great deal of clay and many rocks. But none of this discouraged me in the least. I knew what the plot could become once I put my hand to the work.
I brought in the wire mesh from an old bed frame and sifted all the soil where I planned to plant the garden. I picked out and discarded all the rocks and weeds. Then I brought in eight trailer loads of compost and two truckloads of manure and mixed all of it into the soil. The result was something resembling good ground. The process of clearing and preparing it took about six months because I did the work in the evenings and on weekends. The soil became loose and soft and was easy to dig even during a drought.
Any good seed that falls into such soil bears abundant fruit if it is watered, the garden bed is weeded, and the plant is protected from pests. If everything is left unattended, many weeds will grow, the sun will dry out the roots, and slugs and mice will eat the young shoots or fruit.
Each plant requires its own kind of care. Cucumbers and tomatoes, for example, need a greenhouse that protects them well. They must also be tied up because their stems are very tender and weak. When they are grown outdoors, their stems are stronger and their fruit tastes better, but dew and rain cause the plants to develop disease and the fruit to turn black, making it unfit to eat.
I have also noticed that every good seed needs time to take root, sprout, and bear fruit. Some things grow faster and others more slowly, but every seed produces its own unique fruit after its kind. The crop that has grown must then be gathered and preserved.
When I ask Jesus to give me love, He says yes. He looks at the soil of my heart and sees what it can become once He puts His hand to the work. It gives Him great pleasure to cultivate and enrich the soil of my heart. I, however, want to see fruit immediately and become disappointed when I do not find it. But every morning Jesus rolls up His sleeves and asks me, "May I make your heart a little cleaner and better today?" My answer determines what He can do.
The process of cleansing the heart in which God desires to sow the seed of His love can be painful for many people because it involves recognizing their own impurity. But this process cannot be avoided; otherwise, the seed will die. During this time, prayers for repentance and cleansing, for the promised new heart, for the Holy Spirit, and for God’s love are especially important. The Lord answers these prayers, cleanses the soil, and nurtures the seed so that it may bear abundant fruit. In some people, the seed grows slowly; in others, it grows quickly. But in due time it begins to bear fruit. Ask, and it shall be given you!
The love i live by
“Draw near to God, and come into closer union with His people. Let your interest and your affections center in Christ and His followers. Love those best who love Christ most” (Testimonies for the Church, vol. 2, p. 47).
In my life, I try to follow this counsel. The greatest joy is to love those who share your faith and with whom you plan to fellowship throughout eternity. Unlike our enemies, they are few, and we must treasure them.
More than anything, I dream that you yourselves will catch the fire of God’s love and spread it to all your friends and relatives. Love does not come alone. With it come peace, joy, happiness, meekness, a clear mind, and a personal knowledge of Jesus.
Please pray for God’s love with all your heart. Do not rest until you receive it. Shake the throne of God with your prayers, for everyone who asks receives. Jesus promised to give us this gift abundantly, but do we believe His words? Do we want to receive this love?
I am determined to love you and all who are saved. This love begins on earth and will continue throughout eternity. I also dream of finding a place from which I can watch Jesus and gaze upon Him for hours. I think this will be an endlessly joyful occupation. What attracts me most about eternity is the opportunity to see and hear Jesus. The greatest happiness is to be with the One Whom you love without having seen Him, in Whom you believe, and with Whom you have fellowship. The more you communicate with the one you love, the stronger your love becomes and the more fascinating the relationship grows.
Love is part of my life
Love is a quality of character, a constant inclination toward what is best, and a desire to use every opportunity to encourage someone. It brings about important changes within you. Love is the union of mercy and justice; one cannot exist without the other. Love determines the spirit in which we communicate with people and makes that communication fruitful. You can speak with a friend once every six months and inspire that person toward major change through a single conversation. Or you can spend years communicating with coworkers and still remain strangers.
Love in the heart is like living water. If there is someone ready to receive it, there will also be a source from which it can be drawn. My phone contains more than six hundred contacts, and I do not stay in regular touch with all of them. But sometimes I feel prompted to call or write to someone, or even to visit that person. As a rule, such communication brings joy to both of us.
For many years, I have spoken about love to many different people. I have noticed that the most grateful listeners are the sisters. They take in every word. Rejection and resistance, however, most often come from the brothers.
For many years, I waited for one of the people I spoke with to say, “I truly love!” The first was Arthur, whom I met three years ago and with whom I am still friends. Later, Albina had a similar experience in her life, and she remains delighted with the gift she received. Today Maxim wrote to tell me about his own spiritual rebirth. I quietly rejoice for my friends and ask Jesus to bless them.
Letters about love
Today I received joyful news from a friend. I would like to share a few excerpts from his letter:
“Something amazing is happening in my life... Yesterday I finally realized what astonishing power from God is contained in the words ‘I love you’! When you say these words, both you and the person to whom you say them receive strength. And it is a healing power! Glory to the Lord!”
A little more than a year has passed since we became friends, and this is the result of our friendship and our conversations about love. It is joyful to communicate with those who understand you.
Sergey writes:
“Hello, Andrey K.! Whenever I read your thoughts about love in the chat, I felt somewhat puzzled. It seemed as though you were writing in an unfamiliar language, so I simply skipped over your reflections. Now, however, I read them and think about them! I became interested in the experiences of Arthur and others who write that they have received the gift of love!”
Here is Maxim’s letter, which I am including in full with his permission:
“Greetings, Brother Andrey! I am writing to you at night because I cannot sleep. I have wanted for a long time to tell you that I too have received the gift of love from the Lord. I did not talk about it, but I shared love with everyone—in sermons during worship services and youth meetings, when visiting church members, and when meeting with friends. Not everyone senses a lack of love. Many people think they love, when in reality they are deceiving themselves. That is how I used to ‘love’ too. When I read your messages, I understood that I did not have the love you were writing about, but I did not ask God for it. But when Arthur wrote that he now loved, I cried out to God.
I realized that I had no love for a person who had sinned. I did not even have selfless love for my own wife and children. I had preached many times about the love of Jesus Christ, yet I did not possess it in its fullness. I realized that I felt hostility toward people close to me who had treated me unjustly. I forgave them, or so I thought, and did not hold a grudge against them, but the hurt remained. At best, I stopped speaking to them; at worst, I rebuked them harshly and waited for an apology.
Once I recognized this, I began asking the Lord to give me love for the people who hurt me, misunderstood me, and did evil to me. And the Lord generously filled me as though I were an empty vessel. I began responding with love to unjust words and actions in my family, then in the church, and later in my interactions with strangers. I remembered how you called yourself a ‘beggar’ for God’s love, and I became one too. I came to understand that without love from God, I cannot do anything rightly. How wonderful it is to love someone who is not yet able to return your love and to feel God’s love changing both you and the people around you!”
Glory to God! There is nothing more beautiful than watching the seed of love fall into good soil, sprout, and bear abundant fruit!
Expressing love
How is love expressed? The most common answer is: through actions. Yet everyone understands actions according to his or her own needs. If your “act of love” does not meet the expectations of the person you love or touch that person’s heart, you risk being regarded as someone who merely talks.
I often communicate with people in online chats, and I see that my words have an influence. In the apartment building where I live, I always offer my neighbors kind words and good wishes, and I sincerely want them to be happy, but I often encounter distance and reserve. Then I ask Jesus in prayer, “Is my love genuine?” And I hear His voice in my mind: “Remember the whole path you have traveled! Remember where you came from and what you were like, and take courage! Go forward and do what is within your power, and I will be with you!” Then I become calm and draw even closer to Him.
Love does not merely talk; it bares the soul in the hope that someone will respond. How each person responds is for that person to decide. Genuine love, like a mighty river, always seeks an outlet and is ready to break through every barrier. Once all the barriers have been removed, it returns to its channel and continues to flow peacefully.
Love begins with a decision
A great conflict is taking place between God and the evil one for possession of the human mind. Through love, God gives us the power to influence people’s minds and turn their hearts toward Jesus. Therefore, the right approach in every relationship is to love the person. How can I come to love my neighbor? The Lord directs my attention to that person and asks, “Are you willing to love this person?” My future attitude toward that person depends on my answer. Sometimes personal contact is not even necessary. I simply decide to love and declare my decision aloud to the Lord so that the evil one can hear it too. If the Lord allows me to meet this person, I treat him or her according to the decision I have made. When a conflict begins to develop with someone I have decided to love, the Lord gently reminds me of my decision and gives me strength to remain faithful to my choice.
My choice is not always evident to those whom I have decided to love. Unfortunately, I often encounter open hostility from people whom I love and for whom I pray. Perhaps I myself am at fault and lack wisdom, but I still choose love.
After declaring my decision to love someone, I ask Jesus to give me love for that person. Regardless of how close I am able to become to him or her, my choice has been made, and Heaven has already recorded that this neighbor has entered my heart. Sometimes the person whom I have decided to love does not even know it, and I have no opportunity to tell that person. But the most interesting challenge is loving our enemies. A special battle takes place there, but we will discuss that another time.
Love for enemies
In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus calls us to love our enemies:
“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; that ye may be the children of your Father Which is in heaven: for He maketh His sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust. For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same? And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father Which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:44–48, KJV).
This call may be understood as a commandment. At the end of His ministry, Jesus gives us another commandment—to love one another. And commandments, as we know, are given to be obeyed. If God has given a commandment, He also gives us the strength and wisdom to keep it.
What does it mean to love an enemy? First, we need to understand who an enemy is and why we must love that person. An enemy is someone who is hostile toward you, or someone toward whom you yourself have hostile feelings. Later, Jesus says, “A man’s foes shall be they of his own household” (Matthew 10:36, KJV). It turns out that those who live under the same roof with you—the people closest to you, including your spouse, children, and relatives—may become your enemies. You are in constant contact with them, yet they are guided by a different spirit.
Enemies may also be brothers or sisters from the church you attend every week. Another category includes people you do not know who have an evil spirit or are aggressive by nature. In a broader sense, enemies also include people who live in this world but do not believe in Christ as their Savior. An enemy may also be an opponent of the truth, a militant atheist, or a secular person who rejects our faith and values.
In my own life, it was the people closest to me—those from whom I could not get away—who led me to ask the Lord for help and for the gift of love. And the Lord answered. After I prayed, something changed in my mind. I began to think differently about those who had caused many problems in my life. Hostility gave way to compassion. But compassion is not yet love. Then the most remarkable thing happened. “Lord, give me love for these people!” I pleaded. At that moment, I realized that I loved them. This was an entirely new feeling for me. From morning until evening, I thanked God and rejoiced that I loved. From then on, no one could darken my life. If a storm of human hostility and hatred broke over me, I simply asked Jesus to protect me and give me love. And He always answered.
I learned one central principle: do not return evil for evil, abuse for abuse, or ridicule for ridicule, and do not insist on proving that you are right. Once, someone close to me sat beside me and hurled the worst insults at me. I simply remained silent. Then I knelt down and began asking God to bless that unhappy soul. I prayed quietly, asking for love and patience for that person. In the end, the person could bear it no longer and ran away.
During the early stage of learning the science of love, trials like these continually came upon me. At times, I felt as though the entire world hated me and had risen against me. I did not understand what was happening, so I asked Jesus: “What is going on? I ask for love, and You surround me with hostile people.” The Lord helped me understand that this was His School. Once I realized this, I became calm and even began to welcome such situations with joy. Later, the Lord sent me many friends and showed me that I could now love not only my enemies but also those who were kindred spirits.
I understood that the best defense against enemies is to go on the offensive. But this is not the kind of offensive you may be imagining. It means responding to attacks with humility and meekness. It means remaining faithful to God and His light regardless of the circumstances. It means praying for an enemy, wishing that person well, and doing good to him or her. Our enemies—including our wives and husbands—are our best teachers of love.
We do not need to keep repeating to someone, “I love you.” People do not take these words seriously when words stand alone. The Bible teaches us to love “not in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth” (1 John 3:18, KJV). At the right moment, words are also needed so that a person may understand what lies behind your actions, what you want to give, and what you have to offer. We can and should speak about our love, but deeds of love should come before words of love. And sometimes love is expressed through silence.
Love and friendship
We often hear people address us as “Dear friends!” As with an enemy, it is important to understand correctly who a friend is. Jesus Christ gives us an example of true friendship. He says: “The Son of man came eating and drinking, and they say, Behold a man gluttonous, and a winebibber, a friend of publicans and sinners” (Matthew 11:19, KJV). The Pharisees called Christ a Friend of publicans and sinners. Was He their Friend? Yes. Were they His friends? Not all of them—far from it.
Christ came to reveal God’s character and offered His friendship to every person. Did everyone respond to His offer? No. Some hated Him. But Jesus clearly understood the principle of friendship expressed in Proverbs 18:24: “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother” (KJV).
Throughout the Gospels, we see Christ embodying this principle by showing kindness and friendliness to everyone: lepers and sinners, publicans and prostitutes, Pharisees and Sadducees. Christ did not curse anyone, even as He hung crucified on the cross. He prayed, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34, KJV). The Lord treated even Pilate with respect and kindness, though Pilate sentenced Him to death. Jesus calmly told him, “Thou couldest have no power at all against Me, except it were given thee from above: therefore he that delivered Me unto thee hath the greater sin” (John 19:11, KJV).
Love defends a person to the very end, looking for any foothold, even the slightest reason, to lift that person up. When the thief turned for help to the Savior hanging on the cross, He accepted the man’s plea for salvation without hesitation and promised him eternal blessedness.
Yet the Bible also gives examples of friendship that does not look virtuous at all.
“The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich hath many friends” (Proverbs 14:20, KJV). “Wealth maketh many friends; but the poor is separated from his neighbour” (Proverbs 19:4, KJV). Does this mean that to have many friends, one must become rich? No. These verses speak of false friendship. When someone has an empty stomach, that person may try to befriend whoever will provide something to eat.
“Many will intreat the favour of the prince: and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts” (Proverbs 19:6, KJV). This, too, speaks of false friendship, which has nothing in common with the friendship Christ demonstrated in His life.
“The soul of the wicked desireth evil: his neighbour findeth no favour in his eyes” (Proverbs 21:10, KJV). This verse also describes false friendship, which offers a person no protection from evil.
“Take ye heed every one of his neighbour, and trust ye not in any brother: for every brother will utterly supplant, and every neighbour will walk with slanders. And they will deceive every one his neighbour, and will not speak the truth: they have taught their tongue to speak lies, and weary themselves to commit iniquity” (Jeremiah 9:4–5, KJV). After reading a statement like this about friendship, we may ask ourselves, “Why have friends at all?” We may also form a false idea of friendship. We must therefore clearly understand that the Bible distinguishes true friendship from false friendship, and we ourselves must recognize and maintain that distinction.
Love makes friendship genuine; its absence makes friendship false. The foundation of true friendship is the unconditional love God gives. It teaches us how to treat a friend rightly. When I decide to become someone’s friend, love places its seal upon that decision and establishes it forever. Yet God’s gift of love is given in response to my decision.
When love enters a person’s heart, it takes hold of the whole being and fills the mind. It draws the mind to Jesus while still leaving the person freedom of choice.
Taste and see that the lord is good
I bought a car. I walk around it, looking it over inside and out, trying to understand how powerful, convenient, and comfortable it is. For now, I still have only a vague idea of everything it can do. I look through the owner's manual and see numbers, warnings, advice, photographs, and diagrams. I listen to what my friends say about the car, search online for more information, and imagine how wonderful it will be to take it for a drive. Auto mechanics tell me about all the features of my car's engine, and I listen carefully to their warnings about possible breakdowns.
At last, my knowledge reaches the point where I can teach others. Sometimes I even sit in the car, but I still cannot bring myself to start it and drive. My friends who drive laugh at me. They say, “Get in and take it for a drive. Then you will learn from personal experience how wonderful it is to drive your own car.” Sometimes they give me a ride in their cars. I listen to the sound of the engine and watch how readily the vehicle responds to them.
Finally, I make up my mind. I get into my car, start the engine, and carefully drive away. I press the gas pedal and the brake, shift gears, and push buttons. Now, through personal experience, I can evaluate my car's characteristics: the power of its engine, how quickly it accelerates, and how much distance it needs to stop. I see what it can do and can plan the time and effort needed to reach a destination. The navigation system built into the car knows better than I do where the destination is and always chooses the best route. Even if I make a wrong turn, it calmly recalculates the route.
We can read and hear a great deal about love, but it is best to experience its power for ourselves. Love is real and active; we can immerse ourselves in it completely. We are given a Navigator Who will always show us the right way and help us find our bearings if we stray from the path or become lost.
Taste and see that the Lord is good!
To love is natural
What is the best way to drive darkness out of a room? Should you take a huge shovel and start throwing it out the window? Or should you light a candle? As soon as light appears, the darkness leaves on its own. The same is true of sin. Love drives it out of the heart.
Loving is as easy as breathing. You do not need to force yourself or make superhuman efforts. At the same time, love is the most powerful weapon, capable of melting hearts of stone. Those hearts grow hard because of the darkness, lies, and deception all around them. People wrap themselves in heavy clothing when it is cold, raining, or very windy. But as soon as the sun comes out, they grow warm and quickly take off the extra layers. Like the sun, love warms a person, and people will enjoy being in your presence. The important thing is to remain faithful to your decision to love.
When I wake up in the morning, my heart is not filled with love for people; it is completely empty. I kneel and begin to pray. I ask to be filled with love and baptized with the Holy Spirit. God answers these prayers, but the gift of love I receive lasts for exactly one day. I ask God to use me wherever He sees fit, and He finds a use for me. To my surprise, people often find me on their own. But I also pray that He will send me to those to whom I can reveal His love, and He answers my prayer in amazing ways.
Love takes up residence wherever I bring it. It revives hearts of stone and kindles light in the lives of many people.
In search of love
In 1993, I responded to God’s call and accepted the Lord into my heart. In 2009, I began to give close attention to the commandment to love and asked God to teach me how to keep it. Now I am sharing with you what God revealed to me in answer to my prayer. I am writing about my personal experience. God gives us not only an understanding of love but also an opportunity to experience its power for ourselves.
I can say with confidence that, in these last days, what God desires most is to teach us to love one another. For unless we have love for one another, He will not entrust us with carrying the most important and solemn message to this world. If we do not learn to love one another, we will not be able to be His witnesses. What would we testify to—that we hate one another? That we spread gossip about one another? That we have the truth but do not live by it?
The world knows very well what a Christian should be, and it expects God’s Church to live up to that standard. It looks for genuine love in the Church but, unfortunately, does not always find it. Many people who come to church see the very same world, only dressed in religious garments, rituals, and traditions. I am speaking here about Christianity as a whole, not about any particular denomination. God gave only one identifying mark of His disciples: “By this shall all men know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:35, KJV). Of course, God also gave us the truth by whose light we live, but truth without love convinces no one.
The happiness of loving
I used to think, “Happiness is being loved, being needed by someone, and being accepted just as you are.” I dreamed that one day someone who would accept me would come into my life. Even after Christ came into my life and accepted me just as I was, I continued to wait for the loving person of my dreams to appear. Then the Lord revealed to me that instead of waiting for such a person, I myself could become that person for others. And I understood: you will not be happy when others love, accept, and value you, but when you yourself love, accept, and value others.
To be able to accept others, we need to be friendly. The following counsel from Ellen White helped me develop the habit of being friendly:
“Cultivate the habit of speaking well of others. Dwell upon the good qualities of those with whom you associate, and see as little as possible of their errors and failings. When tempted to complain of what someone has said or done, praise something in that person’s life or character. Cultivate thankfulness” (The Ministry of Healing, p. 492).
I used to enjoy discussing other people’s faults and mistakes. When you learn to love, you realize that this harmful habit must be rooted out because it hinders you from loving a person—and the habit itself begins to disappear. You understand that you can no longer discuss the faults of someone you love. You can notice only that person’s good qualities. God enables you to see not the person’s sin, but his or her potential—who that person will become after turning to God. You pray for that person and ask the Lord to make room in your heart for him or her. And God answers. The greatest joy comes when the person for whom you are praying responds to your love with love, to your friendship with friendship, and to your smile with a smile.
The trial of rejection
People in this world dream of having a loving friend who will enter their lives and accept them just as they are. This friend will be able to meet all their needs while treating their freedom with the utmost care. Many people start a family hoping that their spouse will be just such a friend. In reality, all these people are dreaming of Jesus, for He is the one and only Friend Who can resolve all their concerns and problems while respecting their freedom. The Lord desires a close relationship with every person. This is what the prophet Isaiah says: “For thy Maker is thine husband; the Lord of hosts is His name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall He be called” (Isaiah 54:5, KJV).
The greatest paradox is that people reject this Friend and laugh at Him. Yet Jesus continues to seek friends in this world. He wants to become a Friend to anyone who will accept Him, even in the person of one of His followers. To those who have believed in Him, He offers the special gift of His love so that they may bear a true and accurate witness about Him.
When I enter into a covenant with Jesus, I long to share the gift of love that I have received from Him. But not everyone accepts me, and many people need neither me nor my words. Love respects people’s freedom and does not force itself upon them. It seeks and finds those who are able to appreciate it, and it rejoices in every home where it is welcomed.
In my interactions with people, I encounter the same response that Jesus experienced. He told His disciples, “The servant is not greater than his lord. If they have persecuted Me, they will also persecute you; if they have kept My saying, they will keep yours also” (John 15:20, KJV). These words are fulfilled in the lives of God’s children. At times rejection deeply wounds their souls, but as they look to Jesus, they find peace and press on.
Everyone who loves Jesus goes through the trial of rejection. In these last days, we see a sorrowful picture: chairs in church remain empty, the phone is silent, only advertisements arrive by email, and face-to-face fellowship has become rare. Yet your heart is burning, so you go and knock, hoping that the door will be opened to you.
An even more frightening realization comes when you begin to understand that you, too, do not need everyone. You are not interested in your friends’ joys and sorrows; you are immersed in your own concerns and have shut yourself off from everyone. Saddest of all, your friends see and feel this, yet in spite of it, they continue to love you.
Jesus said that in the last days, “because iniquity shall abound, the love of many shall wax cold” (Matthew 24:12, KJV). This prophecy is being fulfilled. Woe to me if I notice this cooling of love within myself but make no attempt to correct the situation.
Is there a way out of this condition? Yes. The love of Christ is still available to everyone, and all who seek it will find it. But remember: if Christ was rejected, you will be rejected as well. Do not let your hands fall in discouragement—they are needed for so many good deeds!
Narrowly focused love
I often encounter narrowly focused love in the lives of people around me. A person loves his child, relative, or friend and is willing to invest all his time, resources, and feelings in that love. In such devotion to the object of his love, he finds joy for his soul and meaning in life, even if his love is not properly appreciated, as often happens in relationships between parents and children. Everyone else around him receives little or no love from him, although they see how much love he gives to certain individuals.
When this person hears a call to love, he recognizes love in his own life and even tries to develop it. Yet he fails to understand that other people need his love as well. In the end, his favorites receive every benefit, while everyone else is left with nothing. What should be done with this kind of love?
Imagine that God has favorites whom He blesses abundantly, while everyone else receives only crumbs from time to time. What a glaring injustice that would be! Yet this is sometimes exactly how we imagine God, attributing distinctly human qualities to Him. We judge Him by ourselves and deprive ourselves of many blessings because we are afraid to ask Him for anything.
If I misunderstand God’s love, I will be unable to represent it properly in my life. I will love and be patient only with those whom I choose, rather than with those who truly need my love. As a result, the circle of my influence will be limited to those whom I have chosen, who are dear to me, and whom I love.
But God desires to reveal His true character to me. He is impartial, and His love for every person is equally great. His love is constant and deep; it seeks not its own and gives itself without reserve. It has no favorites, and it tactfully corrects everyone it loves.
This is the very kind of unconditional love that God desires to see in the human heart. Yet it is impossible to love this way without God’s personal presence in one’s life. Therefore, along with the gift of love, He offers us Himself. God loves everyone, but not everyone believes this. Those who receive God’s love into their hearts become the objects of their Heavenly Father’s special care. This kind of relationship with God is available to everyone, but not everyone desires it. Love is limited by a person’s choice and cannot cross those boundaries without permission.
Two words—“yes” or “no”—determine God’s actions toward me and decide my eternal destiny. Which will I choose?
My neighbors also make a conscious choice regarding my love for them. In response to my decision to love them, they say either “yes” or “no,” and what I can do for them depends on their decision. But true love continues to love even those who reject it, because it cannot treat people in any other way. It will not diminish, but will wait in the hope that one day it will be noticed, accepted, and appreciated.
Whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap
Words of love and encouragement are like good seed. They contain life-giving energy and have a tremendous influence on a person’s mind. When I sow this seed and later meet those who have heard or read my words, I see kind faces, smiles, and embraces, and I hear words of gratitude. The harvest of love has a way of multiplying many times over. This is the Lord’s reward for keeping His commandment to love one another.
There is nothing more pleasant than seeing a friend’s genuine joy and sharing the blessings of love with that friend. We all take part in one another’s salvation. Let us sow love if we desire to reap love, and the Lord will help the crop grow and enable us to gather the harvest.
Love expressed in words
My words are a reflection of my character, the melody of my heart, and my identification. Everything I write or say is carefully examined in the spiritual realm, because words are instruments of good or evil influence, a blessing or a curse.
We often hear the phrase, “They are only words!” This creates the mistaken impression that words mean nothing because they depend on one’s mood. Yet there are other sayings: “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34, KJV), and “By thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned” (Matthew 12:37, KJV). These statements help me understand that everything I say is subject to strict accountability. My words affect both those to whom they are addressed and me personally.
I often hear people in an argument hurl cutting words at one another and attach labels to each other. To justify themselves, they point to Jesus or John the Baptist, who sometimes gave uncompromising descriptions of those to whom they spoke. Without considering the circumstances or the people to whom those words were addressed, we treat them as instructions for action and verbally brand our friends and neighbors.
I have decided to remove such expressions from my vocabulary when speaking about anyone, because my love for people thinks no evil and does not exalt itself over their mistakes. As believers, we avoid using vulgar insults against others, and rightly so. Yet we have our own collection of abusive labels with which we like to lash one another, without realizing the harm we cause. Yes, on exceptional occasions Jesus used unflattering words to describe people, but let us not forget that He died for them.
I have decided to remove certain words from my speech and never use them when pointing out the faults of others. These include Pharisee, Pharisaism, heretic, heresy, fanatic, fanaticism, extremist, servant of the devil, legalist, scribe, generation of vipers, and others. These are biblical expressions, but on my lips they may offend my neighbors and God, Whom I desire to represent faithfully. I have heard these words directed at me and know how a person feels when they are spoken to him. I do not decide the eternal destiny of others; the Lord does. A person’s error can be pointed out in other ways.
Love does not brand people but looks for reasons to show mercy to those who are mistaken or think differently. “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another” (Romans 12:10, KJV). May our good Jesus keep our lips and hearts pure and holy!
The power of words of love
Our words have a tremendous influence on the minds of other people, and advertising companies know this truth very well. With ordinary words, they persuade us what to buy, what to wear, and what to eat. Words of love are no less powerful. They can encourage a person, heal emotional wounds, guide a person’s thoughts in the right direction, and draw that person closer to the Creator. They can also fill a life with meaning, reveal the plan of salvation and the will of God, convict a person of sin, and lead that person to repentance. Conversely, words devoid of love wound, cripple, and kill.
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue” (Proverbs 18:21, KJV). With our tongues, we can awaken a person to eternal life or condemn that person to eternal death. With our words, we can curse or bless, but we cannot do both at the same time! “Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter? . . . So can no fountain both yield salt water and fresh” (James 3:11–12, KJV). The bad always cancels out all the good. No matter how many kind words I say to someone, they lose their meaning if I curse that person even once.
Words are one of the languages of love. A person who hears kind words addressed to him feels the love of the one speaking to him. When someone speaks to him tenderly, expresses admiration for him, and openly notices his good qualities, this is the best reward and the clearest language of love for him. In turn, he tries to praise the person speaking with him in the same way. Words help us express love properly and, at the same time, hear it.
If words are not your language of love, do not reject those who speak it. Ask Jesus to teach you to hear the language of love spoken by your brother, sister, husband, wife, or children. Sometimes we see little value in words and demand that a person prove his love for us through actions. Yet words may mean everything to him; he pours his whole heart into them. By devaluing a person’s words, you can cause him deep pain.
Words are more than a language of love. They are our record, possessing a special power and standing in the spiritual realm. They reflect our character and faith and also testify to whom we belong.
When you cannot say “i love you,” write it
Another language of love is the written word. How is a letter different from speech? In conversation, we may leave out something important or, conversely, say too much. When a person writes a letter, he considers every word. Some people can express their love only in writing.
The Bible is nothing other than letters, written by human beings, about God’s love. Even now, these letters possess tremendous power because God Himself speaks through them!
Some people understand this language of love better than others. They enjoy reading and expressing their love in writing. Have you ever received handmade cards from people containing good wishes, blessings, or Bible verses? This is their language of love. If you respond with a similar card, you will make that person exceedingly happy. Never disregard such cards and letters! Always thank the person and, whenever possible, keep those messages of love. In doing so, you will bring happiness both to that person and to yourself.
Hospitality
Another language of love is hospitality. The apostle Paul writes about this language: “Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares” (Hebrews 13:2, KJV). Entertaining strangers means showing love to those who are away from home—in other words, offering hospitality. In 1 Timothy 3, the apostle Paul also writes that a person who desires to be an overseer must be hospitable.
Among many peoples, hospitality is part of the national culture. A guest is the most honored person in your home, whether you love that person or not. You are expected to show your guest the formal signs of respect prescribed by tradition. God calls us to intentional hospitality. He desires hospitality to become second nature to us.
In Hebrews 13, the apostle writes that we may entertain an angel without even knowing it. As we know, an angel is a messenger of God. The person whom we decide to receive as a guest may have a special message from God for us, and that person’s visit may become a blessing. A real angel, or even Christ Himself, may appear in the guise of a homeless person sitting on the back pew of the church. It is no coincidence that the Lord said, “For I was an hungred, and ye gave Me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave Me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took Me in” (Matthew 25:35, KJV).
Therefore, do not hesitate to invite people to church and into your home to have tea, share a meal, or simply talk. An invitation itself, even if the person declines it, is a sign that he is needed and that someone cares about him. The thought that no one needs you can cause you to lose interest in life. By sending the opposite message, we restore that interest.
A home is a place with a special atmosphere. It is warm, comfortable, and safe. A person who enters your home instinctively begins to regard you as a friend, even if he is meeting you for the first time. Unfortunately, not everyone makes use of this opportunity to invite people over. We make excuses: “I have nothing to serve,” “I do not have enough food,” “I have too much to do,” or “I need to go to bed early so I can get enough sleep.” Some would gladly invite someone over but cannot because their husband or wife does not want to see anyone. We cannot invite guests against the wishes of the family members with whom we live. In such a case, there is no need to be sad, because God sees your circumstances. If someone does not invite you over, do not be quick to judge that person.
But if you desire to invite someone and are able to do so, extend the invitation! God calls us to speak to people in this language of love. The influence of this language is enormous!
Material assistance
Material assistance is also a language of love. Do not be afraid to help people. Jesus said, “Give to every man that asketh of thee” (Luke 6:30, KJV). There is a familiar Russian expression: “Do not tell me how to live; help me financially instead.” We tend to hear it negatively, as an expression of greed and self-interest. In essence, however, it says that a person’s physical needs must be met before all others. Another Russian proverb says, “A nightingale cannot live on fables.” In other words, a person needs food, clothing, and at least the basic means of living. It takes attentiveness to notice a person’s need, because not everyone dares to ask for help. It also takes wisdom to avoid harming the person through your help or wounding that person’s feelings.
If I am able to help someone, I do so. My help may not match that person’s expectations. The amount of help matters less than the sincere desire to help with what one has. Even if I have nothing at all to give, I can always pray for the person or read a few verses from the Bible to him. Spiritual hunger is no less frightening than physical hunger.
Jesus once said, “Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations” (Luke 16:9, KJV). Our material wealth will sooner or later be destroyed. All our money will one day lose its value. But a friend whom we gained with its help will remain. Therefore, the best investments are investments in friendship!
New obykhody
In the past, I went every year to a camp meeting in the Ukrainian village of New Obykhody. Each year, the Nash Dom (Our Home) Health Center held a camp meeting for everyone involved in medical missionary work or interested in becoming involved in it. Anyone could spend ten days at the health center, be renewed in strength, meet new people, and return home inspired and spiritually refreshed.
As I prepared to attend this camp meeting for the third time, I already knew what awaited me and began praying for the trip a year in advance. Above all, I wanted to experience divine love and apply in my relationships with strangers the knowledge and skills I had received from the Lord. I prayed for the people who would sit at my table. I asked the Lord to send me people to whom I could speak about His love and lead to Him. As I prayed, I came to love in advance the people who would one day sit at the same table with me.
During registration, I asked to be seated at an empty table so that God could place there whomever He desired. On Friday at lunchtime, just before the camp meeting opened, people sat down at my table. After everyone had introduced themselves, I said, “I have been praying for you for an entire year! I even came to love you before knowing what you looked like. The Lord sent you to me in answer to my prayers. You are my gift from the Lord—the friends for whom I prayed!”
Their first reaction was one of great surprise. I could see bewilderment and caution in their eyes. Then I shared my plans with them and began speaking about God’s love for us and our love for God and our neighbors. During the camp meeting, we attended the scheduled seminars, but at our table we held a separate seminar of our own. I prayed, “Lord, give me the right words for these people!”
The year before, I had encountered resistance at the camp meeting for which I had not been prepared. Therefore, I spent an entire year preparing myself for another struggle. This time, however, the people listened in silence. Two days passed, and they continued listening to me during meals. No one objected. They gave me surprised looks, but they listened attentively. After each meal, everyone left to attend the seminars.
On the fourth day, my enthusiasm ran out. At our first meeting, I had told these people that by the end of the camp meeting we would be the closest of friends. Yet my own strength lasted exactly three days. Seeing no response, I did not know what else to say, so I fell silent. They immediately asked me, “What happened? Why did you stop?” Then I invited my table companions to ask me questions. Only after that did a real conversation begin. People started opening up, and they began to understand what was actually taking place.
One brother told me, “I find it difficult to understand what is taught in the seminars. But I understand what you are saying, and this is what I need most.” The camp meeting program was scheduled from morning until evening, leaving very little time for personal conversation. Yet even during the brief intervals, God sent me people who shared their struggles with me. I told them about my experience of love, and we prayed that God would help my new friends resolve their problems.
After we had grown close enough, I told them, “I did not tell you about my love merely to make you happy or to gain your love in return. I want you to love the people who live near you and with whom you have constant contact, because they need your love more than I do. Your love would bring me joy, but I want those around you to be happy! Your neighbors must receive what is rightfully theirs—the love of Christ revealed through your character and your life. This is the most powerful testimony!”
After that, lively conversation began at our table. Everyone started sharing personal experiences, and we learned a great deal about one another. By the end of the camp meeting, we had become truly close. We exchanged addresses and telephone numbers in the hope that our friendship would continue. I believe that, through our fellowship, the love of Christ will be revealed to many more people and that the seeds sown in human hearts will spring up and bear the fruit of the Holy Spirit.
Communicating with the opposite sex
In 2013, I once again went to the camp meeting in New Obykhody. After we became acquainted, a group formed of people who wanted to hear my reflections on love. I began sharing what I had learned and saw their hearts catching fire. But my enthusiasm did not last long.
One brother approached me and said, “Andrey, I was asked to tell you that you should limit your interaction with other people. Many of the sisters may misunderstand you because you discuss matters that are too personal. Since you are a married man, you could become a source of temptation to them.”
I fully understand the delicacy of the subject about which I speak. At the same time, Christ commanded us to love everyone. He did not say that brothers should love brothers and sisters should love sisters. He said that we must love one another. Yet as we obey this commandment, we must recognize appropriate boundaries and take care not to lead anyone into sin. This is especially important when dealing with single people and those whose family lives have not turned out well.
At the time, that warning felt like a cold shower. I thought, “Is this really the end? Has my testimony about love come to an end?” I went into the forest and prayed there. I thanked God for the opportunity to tell people about love and asked Him for wisdom. The Lord answered my prayer. From then on, I exercised the greatest caution in my interactions. I spoke with the sisters only when other people were present. Every walk took place in a group, and I was never alone with any of the sisters. The Lord arranged everything wonderfully, and everyone who wanted to hear the message of love heard it. I sincerely hope that I did not drive anyone away or become a source of temptation to anyone.
“And this commandment have we from Him, That he who loveth God love his brother also” (1 John 4:21, KJV).
Zelva
By God’s grace, in the fall of 2018 I was invited to conduct a series of seminars about love, friendship, and happiness at the former Zelva health resort in Belarus. This was an unusual experience for me. It is one thing to write down my observations and quite another to speak publicly, present arguments, and give clear examples. I understood that I could not manage without God’s help, so I asked for strength from above and trusted that the Lord would not forsake me.
What a joy it was each morning to place myself in God’s hands and share with people what I had learned about God’s love! It was also fascinating to watch strangers become friends and to see God’s grace unite our hearts. By the end of the gathering, we felt like one close-knit family living in the atmosphere of Heaven. Everyone shared with the others the blessings they had received during the gathering.
I was invited to speak in the mornings, both before and after breakfast, and I told the people about the love and happiness that Jesus gives abundantly to everyone who thirsts and asks. Jesus heard our prayers for a blessing and poured out His Spirit upon us. We all experienced genuine joy. One evening, some Pentecostal brothers came to visit us. For more than two hours, they listened attentively and asked questions. Then they blessed us and departed in peace. Jesus was glorified.
As I prepared for this gathering, I worried that I would have nothing to say. But when the week came to an end, I regretted that I had been able to share so little. Praise God for gatherings like this! Love makes a way for itself, and it cannot be stopped!
Guarding the seventh commandment
When you give your love, in obedience to Christ’s commandment, to someone of the opposite sex, there is a possibility that you may fall in love with that person. This can happen even when one or both of you are married and have families of your own. In that case, God comes to your aid and reminds you of the seventh commandment, “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” which must be kept both in actions and in thoughts. What should you do when temptation comes? Resist it! The sooner you recognize an evil thought and reject it, the easier it is to be rid of it. When God sees our desire to obey His law, He cleanses our minds from all impurity, though this does not always happen quickly. God’s grace exposes the corruption in our hearts in order to cleanse them and bring them closer to Heaven’s ideal. A struggle begins. It is different for each person, but no one can avoid it.
It seems that at last you have found the person of your dreams, someone after your own heart, and you imagine how wonderful it would be if the two of you could somehow be together. The carnal nature receives this thought as a signal to act, but Jesus does not desire your destruction and holds you securely in His hand. You call upon God for help and ask Him to deliver you from sinful thoughts. God answers, and the sinful thought leaves, but after a while it returns with even greater force. This struggle within the mind may last for seconds, hours, weeks, or even months. Outwardly, you continue to live an honorable life, bear a faithful testimony, and help your neighbors, while evil thoughts circle in your mind like flies. But there is good news: this trial will not last forever. Deliverance and victory come from God. The habit of obedience takes root, and the next time you recognize the danger more quickly and give sin no opportunity at all.
Our love extends to everyone, regardless of sex or age. We cannot avoid temptation, but we can resist it. Yet woe to me if I become a source of temptation to someone else. Love is a very powerful weapon; it penetrates deep into the human heart. If I pursue my own personal aims and fail to establish boundaries in my interactions, I may become a source of temptation to another person and destroy that person without even realizing it. Therefore, let us exercise the greatest caution! In our relationships with people, let us be guided by the desire to save our neighbor and glorify God.
The complexities of love
More than anything else, our Heavenly Father desires to see genuine and enduring love among His children. He sent Jesus into this world so that, through His example, we could see true love and better understand God’s character.
Is there love among us? Is it in me? If so, how fully does it meet God’s expectations?
Relationships between people develop in different ways. Let me give an example from real life.
A brother and a sister from the church became friends. Mutual affection grew between them, and they began spending more time together, working on shared tasks and helping each other in every way. Their affection developed into a strong attachment, and a thought arose: “Could this perhaps be love?” Dreams of starting a family appeared on the horizon. Then came a trial in the form of senseless and merciless public opinion, which did everything possible to destroy their relationship. To avoid coming into conflict with established stereotypes, the brother and sister decided to separate.
Struggling with the pain of separation and guilt over their lack of courage, these unhappy people began avoiding one another. They stopped calling each other, sending messages, talking, and even greeting one another! Yet they continued attending the same church, singing, praying, and reading the same books. God, meanwhile, commands us to love one another. Even if the brother and sister in this example could not start a family, why train themselves to feel hostility and enmity? It is both better and easier to love than to hate!
Another acquaintance of mine has two fathers and two mothers. When he was a child, his parents divorced and formed new families. Instead of the hostility so common in such circumstances, the two families were friends and raised their shared son together. I am opposed to families breaking apart and spouses separating, but if a separation has occurred, friendly relations can and should be preserved. This is what the love of Christ teaches us. Love for one another contains a special blessing from God that endures throughout life and brings meaning, joy, and happiness.
How to respond to accusations
I love, and this is God’s gift. You love, and this too is a gift from the Lord, purchased at the price of His shed blood. When I ask Him to give me this gift, He gives it. When I see love being revealed in my heart, I am amazed, I rejoice, and I give thanks. But trials come together with love. Each person’s trials are different, yet there are common situations faced by nearly everyone who has received love and lives by it. One such situation is criticism from people who declare, “You do not love!” or “There is no love in you!”
Do not be afraid when you hear such categorical statements! Let not your heart be troubled. Believe in God and in Jesus. A loving heart would never speak this way, because it understands that anyone, even the most upright person, can make a mistake or do something foolish. When I hear accusations like these directed at me, I listen carefully because I want to understand where they come from. Sometimes God uses other people to show me my sin. When I see it, I turn to Jesus in repentance and ask Him to deliver me from that sin and teach me to live without it. But if I see that the accusation is unfounded and arises from an inner problem in the accuser, I try to respond with patience and meekness.
I know how love works within me, but I will not presume to accuse another person of having no love. It is not my place to judge. By making such an accusation, I may close my heart to my neighbor for many years and deprive myself of blessings.
There is a wise saying: “To understand someone better, walk in that person’s shoes.” Before judging someone, you must place yourself in that person’s position, take on that person’s responsibilities and circumstances, face a similar situation, and overcome it. Therefore, do not judge those who speak openly about their love. They are vulnerable because they cannot conceal the lamp burning within them.
If love has taken up residence in the heart of a son or daughter of God, it is there forever. It is a tender plant that requires care, but it sends its roots very deep and into every area of human life. Love gives meaning and purpose to everything a person does. Love pins the carnal nature to the ground and does not allow it to rise.
Do not be troubled when a storm of accusations and complaints descends upon you. Hold fast to the truth, and you will surely be called self-righteous, a fanatic, a Pharisee, or a legalist. But what does the Lord say about those who keep themselves in purity, holiness, and love? “Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art Mine” (Isaiah 43:1, KJV). “Lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world” (Matthew 28:20, KJV). And what will He say to His loving children when He comes? “Enter thou into the joy of thy Lord” (Matthew 25:21, KJV).
When love hears unfounded accusations directed against it, it looks to Jesus, finds comfort in Him, and continues its work.
What benefit is there in love?
What benefit do I receive from loving? What has changed in my life? Why do I need this? What am I trying to show and prove by it? First, I must answer all these questions for myself.
There was a moment in my life when I realized that I did not possess true love—the love that never fails and that consciously loves everyone it chooses to love. I began asking for this gift. The Lord gave me this heavenly treasure, taught me how to use it, and moved me to speak and write about this gift.
When I compare my former life with my life today, I see an enormous difference and a tremendous advantage in my present condition—as great as the advantage of light over darkness. When there is light, you can see everything and know which way to go.
I have come to understand God’s character, His mercy, and His justice more clearly. I realize that I am incapable of comprehending all His greatness and beauty, yet His revelation through the gift of love fills me with delight. I know that with Him I have nothing to fear!
He loves me and understands me far better than I understand my neighbor, because He is higher and purer than I am. This thought brings me even greater joy. I deeply desire all people to learn this, not merely from my words, but through their own experience of love and life with God.
A loving person will inevitably sow everywhere seeds of love that never run out. Seeds sown in good soil spring up and bear fruit. The lives and minds of my neighbors change; they examine their hearts, begin seeking the Source of love, and find Him in God. I see kind and grateful faces, joyful eyes, and smiles, and I understand that love has taken up residence in their hearts. I see many people respond to my love with even greater love. When I see someone’s need, I direct that person to Jesus, and He gives him everything he needs.
Unfortunately, love sometimes encounters rejection and criticism along its path. Everyone who loves goes through this bitter experience. Even Christ was not accepted by everyone. Rejection may come from relatives, friends, neighbors, coworkers, and brothers and sisters in the church. As we build relationships with these people, we must remember that they can change and become loving if they desire it and begin seeking the One Who is Love. God gives us the gift of love even for these people who live in darkness, and with it He gives us victory over our selfishness. Our view of people changes. We begin to look at them through God’s eyes, and they become the dearest and most welcome people to us.
After deciding to love my neighbors, I became calmer, more attentive, and more sensitive. As a result, I gained many friends who are dear to my heart. My greatest joy comes from understanding that, by God’s grace, I took part in their spiritual growth and transformation while respecting their freedom and feelings.
Great is the reward of those who love, but it cannot be seen with the eyes. It is the Kingdom of God within them, and the King is the Lord Jesus. According to the law of sowing and reaping, seeds of love will not produce thorns or weeds. Therefore, sow love so that you may reap love!
Heirs to god’s throne
In Revelation chapter 3, a special message has been recorded for us—the message to Laodicea:
“These things saith the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God; I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of My mouth. Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked: I counsel thee to buy of Me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear My voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with Me. To him that overcometh will I grant to sit with Me in My throne, even as I also overcame, and am set down with My Father in His throne” (Revelation 3:14–21, KJV).
The more deeply I consider the meaning of this message, the more amazed I am by God’s love and humility. He offers me the most generous gift—Himself, His righteousness, and His Holy Spirit. He desires to reveal all His power in my character and life, in my words and actions, so that He may be glorified through me. He desires to show the entire universe, the whole visible and invisible world, what a person becomes when he fully trusts God and desires to have within himself all the fullness of His love, righteousness, and Holy Spirit. As He offers me this priceless gift, He respects my choice and my freedom. He stands at the door of my heart and knocks softly, hoping to be heard and invited in. More than that, the Lord assures me that He will share with me not only a meal, but also His eternal throne!
Satan tried to seize that throne and was cast out of Heaven for doing so. Yet the Lord tenderly invites me to share His throne with Him. Is that not amazing?!
The gift of love that we offer people likewise requires us to respect their choice and freedom. When I love my neighbor, I am ready to offer him my whole self, but I also understand that he may not be ready to accept this gift because he does not understand my true motives or for some other reason. All I can do is wait and continue sowing the seed in the hope that one day it will spring up and bear much fruit.
The message was given to Laodicea—God’s people living in the last days. God offers no one else the privilege of sharing His throne. He gives this right exclusively to the final generation of believers. The Lord has set apart His people for a special purpose: to reveal absolute holiness, purity, and God’s righteousness in their character. They are to reveal all these qualities in the last days amid overwhelming temptations, when iniquity will abound. We are promised supernatural help from above for complete victory over sin, vice, and Satan. God is waiting for our response so that He may pour streams of living water upon the parched ground and show us great and inaccessible things that we do not know. He is preparing a special people who will be alive to meet their Savior. Will I be able to stand on that day with my own righteousness and love? Never! Only His righteousness and His love will be accepted by Him.
At the crossroads of opinions
One thing we cannot avoid in our relationships with neighbors and friends is the crossroads of opinions. At this crossroads, human love, friendship, and peaceful relationships collapse. The saddest thing is that a disagreement may arise over the most insignificant question imaginable—for example, which end of a banana should be peeled first. This may sound amusing, but questions like these often destroy lives and relationships. When spiritual interests are involved, the confrontation may reach a complete impasse. Giving up any of one’s views is treated as a denial of faith and the loss of eternal life. The inevitable result is a broken relationship, the end of a friendship, and complete disappointment in the other person. Anyone with a different opinion is branded a traitor, and the door to our heart is closed to him.
If we examine this problem more deeply, we will find pride at its foundation—pride that paralyzes the human heart and mind. How does love act in such situations? It respects the person’s opinion and choice, yet it does not abandon the convictions on which it stands. When life leads to a crossroads of opinions, love knows what to expect and prepares for the blow, but it continues to love its neighbor. Love does not attach labels; instead, it seeks to understand the motives behind particular actions or words. Love does not harden the heart but softens it and assures the person that, despite the difference in views, he is accepted.
As love approaches another crossroads of opinions, it is ready to meet resistance, yet it is determined to continue on its way. Each person has his own version of what is right—a narrow view of the situation. Love, however, bases its actions not on human notions of what is right, but on eternal divine truth.
The gift of love
I have many friends whom I love very much. Each of them is infinitely dear to me. Naturally, I am filled with a desire to share my spiritual blessings with my friends. At the same time, I understand that my friends possess freedom of choice, which I am obligated to respect.
I gather all the treasures of my heart and all my revelations and take them to a beloved friend, anticipating the joy he will experience when he receives my gift. I approach the closed door of his heart, begin knocking very gently, and call my friend by name. I let him know that I have brought him the most precious things I possess, including my very self. My friend hears me and perhaps even sees my gifts, but he is in no hurry to let me in. I understand that it is not so much I who make my friend uneasy as it is my gifts. He does not understand their full value.
My friend does not let me into the home of his heart, but neither does he drive me away from his doorstep. Therefore, I continue standing at his door, knocking gently and calling to him. I know that my gifts can change his life for the better, fill his mind with new thoughts, and make him a loving son of the Heavenly Father. This moves me to keep appealing to his heart in the hope that one day he will let me in. When that happens, my happiness will know no bounds. I have been accepted! My gift has been appreciated! What happiness!
That friend is you, my reader! I am patiently awaiting your decision!
Who is thirsty?
The Lord tells us, “For I will pour water upon him that is thirsty, and floods upon the dry ground: I will pour My spirit upon thy seed, and My blessing upon thine offspring” (Isaiah 44:3, KJV).
Every morning and evening, I remember this promise, thirst to receive what has been promised, and ask God to fulfill these words in my life. I understand that unless God gives me His love, I cannot produce it within myself. My thirst for love can be satisfied only by the One Who Himself is Love. I am interested in listening to, reading, and studying everything connected with love. I joyfully absorb everything the Lord reveals to me, and I know that “He satisfieth the longing soul, and filleth the hungry soul with goodness” (Psalm 107:9, KJV).
I pray that this biblical promise and my experience will inspire you, my friends, to thirst for and seek God’s love!
“Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price” (Isaiah 55:1, KJV).
“If any man thirst, let him come unto Me, and drink. He that believeth on Me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water” (John 7:37–38, KJV).
Stewards of love
“For unto every one that hath shall be given, and he shall have abundance: but from him that hath not shall be taken away even that which he hath” (Matthew 25:29, KJV).
I cannot receive a small gift of love and keep it exclusively for myself. I can receive it only on the condition that I become a channel of love to others. God desires to multiply His love within me so that He may use it to bless others. Woe to me if I suppress the expression of this gift within myself, because then the second part of Jesus’ promise will be fulfilled in my life: even what I have will be taken away from me.
We face a choice: to steward God’s gift of love wisely and be happy in this life and throughout eternity, or to bury God’s gift, lose the joy of life with God, and forfeit eternal life.
God’s call will not sound forever. The longer we delay making a decision, the fainter it will become, until at last it grows completely silent.
Love for one’s neighbor begins with love for oneself
Love for one’s neighbor begins with love for oneself. Does that sound strange? Yet this is biblical truth: “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:39, KJV).
This does not mean selfishness, but rather continual care for one’s body, soul, and spirit. In His life, Christ demonstrated such love for Himself. Ellen White writes about this beautifully in the book The Desire of Ages.
Jesus prayed, sang psalms, spent time in nature, helped His parents, maintained a friendly spirit, and did many other things that nourish and strengthen a person spiritually and physically. He always found a way to bring Himself joy through absolute obedience to God’s will and love for His neighbors. He understood that every kind of evil is destructive, and therefore He hated sin in every form. Through His own experience, He came to the conclusion that we should treat others as we would want them to treat us (see Matthew 7:12).
What about us? Do we love ourselves? Does the way we treat ourselves and our salvation enable us to love our neighbors and our enemies? Do we care about the purity of our minds and of our bodies, which are the temple of the Holy Spirit? What do I love to do, watch, and listen to? Once we are certain that we have the right attitude toward ourselves, we can go to our neighbors, who are eagerly waiting for us.
Can love be lukewarm?
Love reveals itself in a right attitude toward life, service, our neighbors, and God. It is the primary motivation behind everything you do. It is also your greatest treasure, which you always carry with you and are ready to share at every opportunity. The more love you give, the more of it you have.
The problem in these last days is that Jesus calls His Church, and the believers who make it up, lukewarm. In His message to the Church of Laodicea, He says, “Thou art neither cold nor hot” (Revelation 3:15, KJV). This is a very serious accusation. Christ says that He will spew such people out of His mouth. In other words, they make God Himself feel sick. But what does it mean to be lukewarm?
Consider a faucet supplied by two pipes, one carrying cold water and the other hot water. When I turn on one tap, cold water flows; when I turn on the other, hot water flows. If I turn on both, lukewarm water flows. Although this is useful in everyday life, it is harmful in spiritual life. Believers in God are called to serve. There are two kinds of service: service for the good of the Church and service for the good of our neighbors. Both are service to God, Who is the Head of the Church and Who identifies Himself with every neighbor. God expects us to approach both kinds of service responsibly. If I do not understand this expectation and requirement of God, I may be hot and zealous in one kind of service but cold in the other.
Jesus once said to the religious leaders, “Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone” (Matthew 23:23, KJV; see also Luke 11:42). Such people are found in our day as well. They know Scripture very well, are ready to defend the truth and lay down their lives for it, can explain every passage of the Bible correctly, and serve actively in the Church. Yet they have few friends. Others find neither joy nor support in fellowship with them. Their love for God is limited to zealous service for the good of the Church, leaving them neither time nor strength for other people.
There is another category of people. They love their neighbors, live for their good, and find satisfaction in doing so. But when they are invited to learn the truth and show zeal in serving the Church and building up the one spiritual body of Christ, they refuse.
Thus, there are two categories of people who are hot in one kind of service and cold in the other. Overall, this is a lukewarm condition. Jesus makes it clear that our service should be equally hot in both directions. In the person of our neighbors, He waits for us to show attention to Him. He also expects us to make efforts to defend the faith and build up the Church. One loses its meaning without the other. This is precisely why Christ says that it is better to be completely cold than lukewarm.
What, then, should we do? How can we always maintain the necessary fervor in serving both the Church and our neighbors? In the same third chapter of Revelation, Jesus counsels us: “I counsel thee to buy of Me gold tried in the fire, that thou mayest be rich; and white raiment, that thou mayest be clothed, and that the shame of thy nakedness do not appear; and anoint thine eyes with eyesalve, that thou mayest see” (verse 18, KJV). In verse 20, Christ asks us to open the door to Him so that He may teach each of us. Will I respond to this call and follow His counsel? The decision depends entirely on me.
How good the lord is
How merciful and good the Lord is to us! He gives us everything we need for life and expects faith, love, and obedience from us.
We live in a special time—the last days before Christ’s Second Coming—and therefore God has special expectations of us and acts in special ways. The closer we come to the end of earth’s history, the higher the standard of God’s requirements for those who have the light and walk in it. God expects absolute purity, holiness, and dedication from His people. He will accept no one who has a spot or blemish (see Ephesians 5:27). Today His mercy toward every person is great, but in the last days His justice will come to the forefront. He gives us light and the strength to live in that light. Do not think that rejecting God’s will will go unpunished. God is exceedingly exacting, and soon He will require me to give an account of the hope that is in me and hold me accountable for every ray of light.
There are no trifles with God. He cleanses the heart of great sins and of dust in its farthest corners. Sometimes the cleansing of the heart causes pain, but nothing is more joyful than knowing that I belong to God. Through my deeds, words, and thoughts, I reveal who my Master is and who lives in my heart.
Time is rapidly carrying us toward eternity, and God’s requirements are becoming increasingly strict. God pays close attention to the smallest defect in our character and reproves us. He brings everything hidden to light and watches how we respond. If I decide to be pure, He cleanses me and leads me onward. At the same time, we must understand that God has His own requirements for each person, so we should not compare ourselves with anyone else.
In Revelation chapter 3, God counsels us to buy from Him gold, white raiment, and eyesalve (see verse 18). The gold is “faith which worketh by love” (Galatians 5:6, KJV); the white raiment is God’s righteousness revealed through love; and the eyesalve is the gift of the Holy Spirit, Who endows us with love. In all these gifts, He offers us Himself in all His fullness and beauty. God gives us these wondrous gifts of His grace in exchange for our sins. How good and great our Savior is!
It is not enough to rely on God’s boundless mercy. We must desire to correct our faults with the help of the means God provides. Christ is coming soon, and we must prepare for this glorious event. I pray that the Lord will give us an understanding of our true condition and teach us His love!
Love gives a choice
Our Lord Jesus is good, merciful, and patient, yet He is also holy and just. For all His love toward us, He hates sin. He offers the only means of victory over sin—Himself. Nothing else will free me from the power of sin or change my character. Christ offers Himself with such tenderness and waits for me to accept Him with such patience that the very realization of this mercy breaks my heart. In reverence and humility, our lips ask Him to become our Master and Teacher.
However, Jesus can do nothing for those who reject His goodness or postpone their salvation until tomorrow. Such people will receive the full right to eternal death, because the good God respects a person’s choice and will give him what he has chosen. Christ cannot share His throne with those who do not love Him, do not hear His voice, and do not work out their salvation with fear and trembling. All His righteousness is given to me as a gift in exchange for my sin, which I must recognize and surrender to Him in repentance. But if I reject God’s grace and begin to justify sin, Jesus has no other plan of salvation. The most dreadful condition possible is to claim to belong to Christ while not possessing His gift of love.
The message of love will sound louder and louder in the last days, for in this gift Jesus reveals Himself fully in a person’s life. Through it He reveals His character and restores His image in that person. Together with love, Christ gives victory over sin. Love is evidence that God, His righteousness, and His Spirit abide in me.
God’s long-suffering is drawing to an end. Imagine that you have come to visit a friend and brought him the most precious thing you possess as a gift. You stand at the door, knock, and call for the owner. He hears your knocking but does not open the door. How long will you remain standing there? What will you do in response to his indifference? Jesus will do the same. The time will come when His knocking at the door grows silent. The place of the good God will be taken by an evil enemy, who will treacherously force his way into your dwelling and bring evil and death with him.
God is still standing at the door and knocking. I let You into my heart, Lord Jesus! Come in and reign within it! Teach me Your love!
The path of love
When a modern person recognizes his spiritual poverty and begins looking for a place where his need can be met, the enemy of human souls first invites him to immerse himself in television or the internet—a world of entertainment and information. But this food does not satisfy him; instead, the feeling of spiritual emptiness leaves him even more disappointed. Eventually, he comes to Jesus and asks Him for help. Christ does not keep him waiting. He throws open the door of blessings, reveals the beauty of His character, and draws the person to Himself. He loves to bless everyone who sincerely asks Him and accepts everyone who comes to Him.
At some point, a believer begins to understand that he needs love—the gold of Heaven—as well as righteousness—the white raiment. He decides to acquire this treasure and timidly asks Jesus to give him these gifts. This prayer sets Heaven in motion. The person expects that his heart is about to be filled with love for each and every person and that he will experience eternal bliss. Instead, he is led into a bathhouse, where the cleansing process begins. He asks for love, but sees irritation, envy, anger, malice, and hatred beginning to come out of him. Carrying this burden, he crawls to Jesus, afraid to lift his eyes and feeling like a traitor; in response, he receives the Savior’s assurance of love and acceptance. He finds a Friend in Jesus and begins to trust Him and open up to Him even more. Then Jesus sends him back to the bathhouse, and the cleansing continues.
Over time, however, the believer notices that the evil which came out of him does not return; it no longer controls his mind or determines his actions. The realization of purity brings joy to his heart. He thanks God for this and hastens to tell his neighbors what the Lord has done for him. He declares his love for them and tells them about his happiness. In response, however, he sees the gloomy faces of friends who doubt the truth of his testimony and demand proof.
Then he runs back to Jesus and tells Him about his experiences; in response, he receives comfort and the tender love of his Savior. Jesus assures him that He will not leave him alone and will give him many friends with whom he will share eternity. But these friends must be found, brought to Jesus, and blessed in every possible way. Encouraged, the person continues along the path laid out by God Himself.
Assembling love
Have any of you ever put together a jigsaw puzzle? A large picture is cut into small pieces and packed in a box. When someone sits down to assemble the puzzle, he has a model before his eyes—the completed picture printed on the box. He looks at it and begins selecting pieces. Like many people, I start assembling a puzzle around the edges because the pieces that form the frame have a distinctive shape and are easy to find. Next come the pieces containing recognizable details, and finally the pieces that share the same color scheme.
The process of assembling a puzzle reminds me of the spiritual experience of acquiring love. We have a model—the Word of God—which we continually consult. The puzzle pieces are the qualities of love that the Lord gives us. Looking at the whole picture, we try to join its pieces together. First, we form the border and gain a general understanding of love. But this outline is not enough for us; we want the entire picture of God’s love to be assembled in our lives. God has given us the model, and He also helps us assemble the whole picture in our character and experience. God enables us to fit together, in the necessary order, patience, kindness, selflessness, humility, self-sacrifice, devotion to truth, faith, and hope (see 1 Corinthians 13).
Reflecting love
When we go outside at night, we do not see the sun because at that time it is illuminating the opposite side of the earth. But then the moon appears in the sky—a satellite that orbits the earth. We say that the moon shines, but in reality it reflects sunlight like a large mirror. Physics tells us that different substances interact with light in different ways: depending on its wavelength, light is either reflected or absorbed by them. Our eyes receive reflected light. We can see one another because the light that falls upon us is reflected.
God pours His love into our hearts like light, and this love reflects His eternal and unchanging character. God sincerely desires us to be His reflection in this world. He wants us to love, because then we will truly reveal God to this world. Christ said, “Ye are the light of the world” (Matthew 5:14, KJV). In ourselves, we have no light, just as the moon has no light of its own. It is the light of God’s love that we are called to reflect. That is why, in place of the dark garment of sin that absorbs light, the Lord gives us the white raiment of His righteousness, which reflects His wonderful character.
The sun of god’s love
Every second, the sun expends 4,200 tons of its substance as heat and light. The amount of solar energy that reaches the earth’s surface every seventy-two hours is equivalent to all the energy contained in the world’s reserves of coal, oil, and natural gas. It would seem that such an abundance of heat and light from the sun would be more than enough for hundreds of thousands of planets. Yet God created the sun for one purpose: to warm our earth, illuminate it, and sustain every living thing. It shines continually, regardless of the weather or the time of day.
God’s love is like sunlight. He loves us at all times. His love warms everything it encounters. The Lord desires us to reflect the light of His love with the same generosity and constancy, so that the rays of His love may warm our friends and our enemies. The efficiency with which this light works through us may be low, but even a few people saved because of this light will bring joy to our hearts throughout eternity. “Ye are the light of the world,” Christ says.
“love one another”
“Little children, yet a little while I am with you. Ye shall seek Me: and as I said unto the Jews, Whither I go, ye cannot come; so now I say to you. A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another. By this shall all men know that ye are My disciples, if ye have love one to another. Simon Peter said unto Him, Lord, whither goest Thou? Jesus answered him, Whither I go, thou canst not follow Me now; but thou shalt follow Me afterwards” (John 13:33–36, KJV).
Jesus says, “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” Peter listened to Jesus, but what question did he ask after these words? “Lord, whither goest Thou?” Like Peter, we often focus our attention on information that concerns other people. Information that concerns us and our inner life goes in one ear and out the other.
In verse 34, Christ speaks of a “new commandment,” but in reality it is an ancient commandment. Love has always existed and will always exist. Love has conquered this world. Christ came into this world to reveal God’s love to us and to teach us to love truly—to love friends and enemies and to love one another. He gives us this commandment, yet, like Peter, we do not hear it. Therefore, again and again, He addresses His Church: “My dear children, friends, brothers, and sisters! I give you a commandment that is ancient, yet new to you! Receive it, hear it, and learn from Me to keep it. Love one another!”
This commandment, like every other commandment, implies that it can be kept; otherwise, it would not have been given to us. The Lord desires us to hear His voice and do His will. God longs to see us loving one another and rejoicing in that love.
This commandment carries a profound meaning: become close friends with one another, take part in one another’s lives, care for one another, and rejoice for one another. Do you lack strength? Wisdom? Desire and understanding? Christ said, “Without Me ye can do nothing” (John 15:5, KJV). Without Christ, we are incapable of loving. But He is ready to be our Teacher in the school of love.
Where can love be found?
“There is no love in the Church!” Have you ever heard that statement? It is usually said by those who realize that they themselves have no love, but are afraid to admit it and prefer to shift the blame onto others.
Can love be seen in the Church during a worship service? Perhaps it can, but in my conviction, a worship service is not the best place to see love. Love is revealed most clearly in personal interaction with people and in everyday and workplace situations, where their true nature and character can be clearly seen. “I love!” is the message of every son and daughter of God at every time and in every place.
Therefore, friends, the next time you come to a worship service, do not look there for love. Instead, look for someone to whom you can give your love through personal fellowship and everyday life!
Love chooses flowers
If you asked a fly whether it had seen any flowers nearby, it would answer, “I do not know about flowers, but that ditch is full of manure and filth!” The fly would then have no trouble listing every garbage heap it had visited. If you asked a bee whether it had seen any filth nearby, it would answer, “Filth? I did not see any. But there truly are many fragrant flowers here!”
I would like to reflect on flies. A Russian song contains these words: “Like flies, here and there, rumors travel from house to house...”
Gossip, malicious talk about others, and whispering accusations have existed in every age, and our time is no exception. Why are such activities so popular among people? The Bible answers this question: “The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly” (Proverbs 26:22, KJV).
Eating a delicacy gives us pleasure. The person who prepares these delicacies also receives a certain pleasure. That is why the Bible compares the words of a talebearer to delicacies. In reality, this is a very widespread sin, and all of us are inclined to indulge in it. The Bible calls this practice sin. Therefore, we must repent of this sin, abandon it, and never repeat it. Why? Because our eternal destiny depends on how pure we are in God’s sight. When He sends light into our lives, we must receive it and abandon whatever hinders Him.
Love covers all things
“The fear of the Lord is to hate evil: pride, and arrogancy, and the evil way, and the froward mouth, do I hate” (Proverbs 8:13, KJV). A “froward mouth” destroys another person’s reputation and humiliates them. As we study the Gospels, we can see that Jesus never talked about anyone behind their back. He openly rebuked sin, but He did so with love for the sinner. He always showed compassion to those who stumbled.
“For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved” (John 3:17, KJV). Christ came into the world not as a Judge, but as a Savior. He came to save people from their sins, not to punish them. Among Christ’s disciples was Judas, who had an evil heart and a deceitful mouth. Yet Jesus not only allowed Judas to remain among His disciples, but also did everything possible to save him. When Christ washed Judas’s feet, Judas still had an opportunity to repent of his evil deeds. Judas recognized his problem, but he did not respond to this final appeal and closed his heart.
Christ’s disciples would have been greatly surprised if they had heard their Teacher speak words of condemnation against those who tried to trap Him in His words and destroy Him. He never mocked people’s shortcomings. On the contrary, He sought to relieve their suffering. And He desires us to behave in the same way.
Love does not gossip
“Thou shalt not go up and down as a talebearer among thy people: neither shalt thou stand against the blood of thy neighbour: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:16, KJV). From the beginning, God foresaw that people would behave in this way and made His attitude toward it clear.
“Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer” (Psalm 101:5, KJV). David spoke these words under the influence of the Holy Spirit.
“Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things” (Romans 2:1, KJV).
“Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth” (Proverbs 26:20, KJV).
These are only a few of the verses that speak directly about the harm caused by gossip.
In our conversations, we often cross the line and begin discussing someone else. True wisdom lies in avoiding such conversations. Instead, we should ask ourselves, “How can I draw closer to Christ? How can I know God better?”
When people discuss others, they risk breaking two commandments at once: “Thou shalt not kill” and “Thou shalt not bear false witness.” Words can kill every spiritual aspiration within a person, especially when that person has only recently turned to God and is not yet firmly established in the faith. Slander destroys love, friendship, and every good endeavor. The Bible calls such behavior sin and urges us to renounce it.
One church member was walking past the pastor’s house when he heard these words through an open window: “Get out of here! Get out of my sight!” Horrified, he ran to the other church members and said, “The pastor is throwing his wife out of the house! I heard him scolding her myself.” But when one of the pastor’s friends asked him what had happened, it turned out that the pastor had not been scolding his wife at all. He had been scolding the dog that had damaged his belongings. True love never spreads rumors and does not listen to slander against one’s neighbor.
“And I heard a loud voice saying in heaven, Now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of our God, and the power of His Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night” (Revelation 12:10, KJV). From this passage we learn that Satan accuses us before God day and night. It gives him great pleasure when we engage in the same activity among our friends. Today, we do not even need to visit someone’s home to do this; it is enough to make a phone call and discuss another person. When someone tells you details about another person that you do not need to know, why listen? It destroys your trust in and respect for that person. People often present their own opinions as though they were the truth.
But God loves every one of us. He gave His life so that we might be saved and have life more abundantly. He came to take all these sins upon Himself. And when we read the Bible, we see that Christ gives an important command concerning how we are to respond to another person’s sin:
“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the Church: but if he neglect to hear the Church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican” (Matthew 18:15–17, KJV).
The first thing we must do when we see a brother or sister commit a sin is speak with that person privately, without witnesses. This does not mean that we must say, “You are a sinner,” and express all our indignation. God teaches us to point out sin with wisdom and love. Truth spoken in a way that insults and humiliates a person will do no good. Instead, it will destroy a relationship that may later be very difficult to restore.
We often skip the steps Christ sets out in the Gospel of Matthew and immediately bring a brother’s or sister’s conduct before a church council, even though the matter could have been resolved more easily and painlessly in a private conversation. Christ gave us this rule, and He expects us to follow it. Sometimes, after talking with someone, you realize that the other person was not mistaken—you were mistaken when you began thinking badly of them. This is why God calls us to speak with one another. When people see that they are loved, they open up to communication and become willing to change.
“And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not” (1 Timothy 5:13, KJV). In this verse, the apostle Paul speaks about young widows who had nothing to occupy them, so they went from house to house and talked with people. The verse does not condemn fellowship itself, but the part of it that is needless and unworthy of God. Gossip falls into this category because discussing other people’s mistakes does not benefit anyone. The right response is to pray for the person and speak with them directly.
God calls us to look for people’s strengths, not their shortcomings. The greatest value in every person is that God accepts and loves them just as they are.
Love does not judge
How do Satan’s works differ from God’s works? Satan looks for reasons to accuse us. He records all our mistakes so that he can present them before God. “Look at this person,” Satan says. “He is not worthy of Your salvation. You must hand him over to me for destruction.” But God seeks to save us. He longs to find within a person even a particle of faith that will make it possible to deliver them from sin and save them for eternal life. Our words and deeds are the result of our faith or our unbelief. Through our words and deeds, we reveal what is happening within us, what kind of relationship we have with God, and whether we are fit for Heaven.
“Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of his brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the Law, and judgeth the Law: but if thou judge the Law, thou art not a doer of the Law, but a judge” (James 4:11, KJV). In the preceding chapter of his epistle, James reflects on the power of the tongue: “But the tongue can no man tame; it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. Therewith bless we God, even the Father; and therewith curse we men, which are made after the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceedeth blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not so to be. Doth a fountain send forth at the same place sweet water and bitter?” (James 3:8–11, KJV). We can see that James describes the tongue from experience. A horse can be tamed and a ship can be steered, but controlling the tongue is far more difficult.
Jesus said, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh” (Matthew 12:34, KJV). The tongue expresses what we think, what we believe, and whom we serve. Recognizing this problem, the apostle Paul writes: “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers” (Ephesians 4:29, KJV). Proverbs chapter 6 lists seven things that God hates, and one of them is a lying tongue that attributes nonexistent faults to other people.
Alongside active gossips, there are passive gossips. They do not discuss anyone themselves, but they enjoy listening while others are discussed. To them, it is a real delicacy. This, too, is a serious problem. It is a sickness, and those who suffer from it need the Physician.
The central problem with gossip and idle talk is that they divide the Church into hostile groups, and the Spirit of God cannot work in such an atmosphere. He wants the Church to be one family in which brothers and sisters truly love and protect one another.
“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted” (Galatians 6:1, KJV).
“Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother’s way” (Romans 14:13, KJV).
If what you read or listen to reveals God’s love and draws you closer to Heaven, devote your time to it. Conversely, disregard information that carries a spirit of criticism and condemnation. If you do not know about your brothers’ sins, you will not lose eternity because of it. But if you encourage those who spread rumors, you may come under condemnation together with the devil. Therefore, be very careful about what you read, listen to, and watch.
“Satan cannot read our thoughts, but he can see our actions, hear our words; and from his long knowledge of the human family, he can shape his temptations to take advantage of our weak points of character. And how often do we let him into the secret of how he may obtain the victory over us. Oh, that we might control our words and actions! How strong we would become if our words were of such an order that we would not be ashamed to meet the record of them in the day of judgment. How different will they appear in the day of God from what they seem when we utter them” (Ellen G. White, Messages to Young People, p. 328).
Love is not proud
How does pride reveal itself? In a person’s look. An arrogant person may say nothing, yet give you such a look that you immediately understand whom you are dealing with. Pride also reveals itself in words and actions. What is pride? It is the arrogance and haughtiness of someone who considers himself superior to others. A proud person unmistakably implies to those around him, “I am better than you! I am smarter, stronger, and more attractive than you!”
Such arrogance can also reveal itself in spiritual matters: “I know the Bible better; my faith is stronger; I have been in the Church longer; I have more love!” All of this is pride. A believer’s only true distinction is humility in Christ Jesus.
As a rule, arrogance and haughtiness are characteristic of those who possess wealth, material prosperity, a high-ranking position, social status, or physical attractiveness. The Bible says that Lucifer’s heart was lifted up because of his beauty. To be beautiful is a blessing and a gift from God. But if that gift is used for self-gratification, it becomes a curse and leads to destruction.
Do scholars take pride in their intellect? Do the strong take pride in their strength? This often happens. But will the weak take pride in their weakness? Hardly. Talented people, as well as famous and popular figures, are also susceptible to this sin. Television can very quickly make anyone famous throughout an entire country or even around the world. The movie industry quickly turns people into celebrities. Elite sports are another sphere in which there is a danger of becoming proud.
David gives the following description of proud people:
“Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart. But as for me, my feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped. For I was envious at the foolish, when I saw the prosperity of the wicked. For there are no bands in their death: but their strength is firm. They are not in trouble as other men; neither are they plagued like other men. Therefore pride compasseth them about as a chain; violence covereth them as a garment. Their eyes stand out with fatness: they have more than heart could wish. They are corrupt, and speak wickedly concerning oppression: they speak loftily. They set their mouth against the heavens, and their tongue walketh through the earth” (Psalm 73:1–9, KJV).
David’s words not only warn us against arrogance, but also teach us how to respond properly when we encounter arrogance in others. Such people often provoke anger and irritation in us, but ordinary envy is frequently hidden behind these emotions. David was able to free himself from it only when he “went into the sanctuary of God” and understood their end (verse 17).
The Lord still invites all of us to come to Him. As I look at Him, I find peace and understand that He provides everything necessary for life. Jesus teaches us to control our emotions. His love teaches us how to respond properly to irritating situations. The demon of malice has no power in a loving heart. Where love lives, there is no room for anger.
Love does not take offense
Taking offense is pride in its highest expression. From my own experience, I know that this is a very dangerous condition. I could go for months without speaking to someone who had wronged me in some way or had simply hurt my feelings. Resentment often takes up residence in families where a husband and wife are hostile toward each other and cause each other pain. Taking offense is a defensive reaction. A person closes himself off and becomes silent. Wounded pride becomes a rusty lock that restrains our actions. Some relatives do not speak to each other for years.
The Lord’s Prayer contains these words: “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12, KJV). When we act in this way, forgiveness frees us from resentment. Sometimes a person recognizes his guilt, comes to you, repents, and then your resentment passes. But that is not victory. Victory is when you take the first step toward restoring your relationship with the person who hurt you. This is vitally important; otherwise, it will be difficult for us to receive God’s forgiveness. As long as we carry the festering wound of resentment within us, we will be unable to receive God’s light and His correction.
Resentment against God is also a sin—one that originated in Heaven and grew to catastrophic proportions. Even the smallest resentment lodged in our heart will progress and distort our character beyond recognition if we do not fight it. If, at the very beginning of Lucifer’s rebellion, God had shown him what he would ultimately become, Lucifer would have been horrified. Resentment turned a radiant angel into a murderer of human beings and an enemy who sought to kill God.
When I understand how dangerous resentment is and see its beginnings within myself, I begin to seek the Savior. Jesus heals us from this leprosy. Freedom from resentment brings a sense of genuine happiness and liberty. Love does not take offense.
Instruction in love
Another form of pride is the unwillingness to accept instruction from others. A person says, “I know that; I have already heard it! Do not teach me, and do not tell me about it!” This is an unwillingness to hear something that one has heard and rejected before. Children usually ask to hear a story they like again. Adults, however, cannot tolerate being told something twice.
When we become Christ’s disciples, the Spirit of God corrects and instructs us. But sometimes the Lord uses people for this purpose and wants us not to resist their instruction. A humble heart listens to any correction, even when it comes from an unbeliever. Unbelievers have often helped me see my sin. Surprisingly, they know very well what a man of God should be like and how he should live.
Once I was flying on an Ilyushin Il-86 airplane, which had three sections of seats. I sat in the center section. Do you know why? So that when drinks were served, I could take one twice—once from the flight attendant on my left and once from the flight attendant on my right. Beside me sat a young man to whom I was reading Bible verses about God’s love. On my other side sat an elderly German woman who did not understand a word of what I was saying, but she saw that I was reading the Bible. As two flight attendants served drinks in the aisles, I took drinks from both and put them into my bag. I did not need them and could have bought them, yet I took them anyway. At one point, the German woman could no longer remain silent and said to me in German, “You are reading the Bible, but you are deceiving these flight attendants.” To me, this was God’s voice showing me in my true light. The young man did not understand a word, but I felt incredibly ashamed. I accepted this correction as though it had come from the Holy Spirit.
When others instruct us, it is always painful. Our pride makes us resist. What should we do? Love teaches me to accept instruction and correction from people. Love listens to and respects the person who is speaking. It analyzes the information and chooses what is useful and reasonable. Love cleanses the heart from pride and teaches me meekness. “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth” (Matthew 5:5, KJV).
Love submits to the truth
Another form of pride is resistance to light—an unwillingness to follow Christ, repent, and change. God’s task is to reveal my sin to me, and He does this continually through my thoughts, conscience, circumstances, or other people. My responsibility toward God is to accept God’s light. God brings me to an awareness of sin and waits for my repentance so that He may cleanse me. But our pride begins to resist, and at times we close ourselves off from people and from God.
Some of us once lived in the world without God and, because of our own pride, did not want to follow Christ. But one day we took a step toward God, and He accepted us as we were. Now He cleanses us and leads us step by step. Therefore, when we encounter an appeal in spiritual literature or someone corrects us, we should not hasten to say, “That is not for me!” The apostle Paul writes in 1 Timothy 6:3–4: “If any man teach otherwise, and consent not to wholesome words, even the words of our Lord Jesus Christ, and to the doctrine which is according to godliness; he is proud, knowing nothing, but doting about questions and strifes of words, whereof cometh envy, strife, railings, evil surmisings” (KJV).
Love listens to God’s voice and distinguishes it from other voices. It is ready to change and thirsts for righteousness and truth. It learns from the Heavenly Teacher and lives in the light. It does not judge its neighbor, but gently corrects them. Love is not proud and accepts every instruction from God, regardless of the source through which it comes.
Love is not jealous
There is a holy jealousy of which the Bible speaks. God Himself calls Himself jealous: “For I the Lord thy God am a jealous God” (Exodus 20:5, KJV). The Spirit of God loves with jealousy, as James 4:5 says. At the same time, we must distinguish jealousy that is a holy and righteous feeling from jealousy that is an expression of pride.
God condemns the attitude that regards a spouse or friend as personal property and reacts with irritation when someone else shows interest in or attention to that person and begins communicating with them. Such unfounded jealousy is rooted in pride and possessiveness.
But there is justified jealousy—for example, when a husband leaves his wife for another woman or a wife is unfaithful to her husband with another man. We should not tolerate such treatment. The Bible also regards marital unfaithfulness as sufficient grounds for divorce. In the same way, the jealous God does not tolerate the unfaithfulness of His people when they treacherously serve other gods.
The Church consists of brothers and sisters. They fellowship with one another and love one another with the holy love to which Christ’s commandment calls us. This is precisely the kind of love God desires to see in us toward our brothers and sisters. But these relationships must always include strict control over our thoughts and feelings and proper conduct toward the opposite sex. Do not become a temptation to others, and do not give an opportunity to those who are looking for one.
But if our spouse gives us no reason for jealousy and we begin to be jealous of Church members, forbidding our spouse to communicate with brothers and sisters, visit others, or invite guests into our home, there is no truth in this. We are not another person’s property, even if that person is our spouse. We belong to God. The only things by which we can bind a person to us are our love, kindness, faithfulness, and care. These are the only things by which we can keep that person close. Unfounded jealousy is more likely to destroy a family than to save it. A person grows weary of constant scrutiny and faultfinding. In the end, they may rebel against their spouse’s control and do something foolish. Do not allow the situation to reach that point.
Love respects a person’s freedom, even when that person chooses the wrong path. Love believeth all things and seeks an explanation for everything. Love hates sin but loves the sinner. Jesus teaches us the principles of right relationships with one another. His grace changes our thinking and forms a righteous character.
Love knows no nationality
The next form of pride is nationalism—the exaltation of one linguistic or ethnic group above others, or of one clan or family above others. We are better than they are. Our family and lineage are better than yours. Our nation is better, more intelligent, wiser, and more capable. In Germany, where I now live, the National Socialist German Workers’ Party came to power in the twentieth century and professed this kind of ideology. Everyone knows what its rule led to. Although lessons were learned, the spirit of nationalism continues to live in people.
If a Russian-speaking group in the Church imagines that it is better than another language group, God will certainly show us how dependent we are on Him. If native Germans should decide that they are better than immigrants, the Lord will humble them as well and show that He is the Head of the Church. “There is neither Jew nor Greek . . . for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28, KJV). “Where there is neither Greek nor Jew, circumcision nor uncircumcision, Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free: but Christ is all, and in all” (Colossians 3:11, KJV).
Language barriers certainly hinder communication. In our church, we have brothers from Romania. Once I approached them to offer them my friendship, but I could not even explain what I wanted. It is difficult to become close to people who speak another language, but that is no reason to consider them inferior to me or to treat them with arrogance or even hatred.
Nationalism has its own insulting names for other people—derogatory terms for Jews, Black people, people from Central Asia or the Caucasus, Ukrainians, Russians, and others. When we use such words, we sin against God. Christ identified Himself with the entire human family. Every person is a child of God by creation and redemption and a potential citizen of God’s Kingdom. When I place myself above another person, I become wrong in God’s sight.
Love is not proud and does not exalt itself. Linguistic and cultural differences exist and will continue to exist, but they are no obstacle to love. Jesus speaks every language, and His language of love is understood even by animals that cannot speak.
Love does not boast
“Thus saith the Lord, Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, neither let the mighty man glory in his might, let not the rich man glory in his riches: but let him that glorieth glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth Me, that I am the Lord which exercise lovingkindness, judgment, and righteousness, in the earth: for in these things I delight, saith the Lord” (Jeremiah 9:23–24, KJV).
Achievements and successes brighten our lives and bring us joy. Sometimes we greatly desire to share that joy. But we must be careful that our joy does not turn into pride and boasting.
When I say, “Look at what I have achieved, what I possess, and what I can do,” it is not difficult to guess whom I want to glorify with those words. The same thing can be expressed very differently: “Glory to God! Look at how the Lord has blessed me. I prayed about this and worked toward it, and God opened the way for me. How grateful I am to Him.” These words will glorify God.
What stands in opposition to pride? Humility, meekness, and modesty. All of these are elements of love. The apostle John says, “If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life” (1 John 2:15–16, KJV). The Lord also says that He “resisteth the proud [that is, He humbles them], but giveth grace unto the humble” (James 4:6, KJV). He alone knows how to humble pride. King Nebuchadnezzar, walking through the royal palace in Babylon, said, “Is not this great Babylon, that I have built for the house of the kingdom by the might of my power, and for the honour of my majesty?” (Daniel 4:30, KJV). Daniel chapter 4 describes how, after these words, God deprived this proud king of his reason for seven years. Each of us builds a personal “Babylon” in this life—a house, a company, a health resort, a store, a fitness center, a café, or a church. All of these things are good and can serve the benefit of society and the glory of God. But woe to me if I take credit for these achievements and begin to boast about them, aloud or inwardly! God carefully examines our motives. Love seeks glory not for itself, but for the One from Whose hand it receives everything. Wisdom, strength, wealth, beauty, and achievement are not given so that we may boast about them, but so that we may glorify God and serve our neighbors.
Idols in sports
Another form of pride is the excitement of sports fandom and an emotional attachment to a particular team. I root for my favorite team, rejoice in its victories, and grieve over its defeats. This is like building a house on sand: sooner or later, it will fall. The conduct of the athletes themselves can be understood to some extent: they train, deprive themselves of life’s comforts, and make this their work and source of income. But what does a fan do? He simply suffers emotionally for his team. This obsession comes very close to the sin of pride.
In our time, however, soccer has been placed on a special pedestal. This sport attracts more attention from the inhabitants of our planet than any other. The FIFA World Cup is a grand event for which athletes and fans prepare for several years. As I reflected on this phenomenon, I came to the conclusion that demonic forces are involved in the frenzy surrounding soccer. I can find no other explanation for its power over the minds of millions of people. Unfortunately, this influence also extends to God’s children. Many Church members worship the god of soccer and pray to it for their team’s victory.
The god of soccer is very pleased with its worshipers. It gives them emotional pleasure, pride in their team, and contempt for others. But this god takes its greatest pleasure in soccer matches held on the Sabbath, seeking to deceive even the elect. On this special day, which the Creator Himself set apart for fellowship with His creation, many of His children turn their backs on their Savior. They prefer to cheer for their favorite team without considering that their disregard for light and holiness is being recorded in the Book of Life. The apostle John gives very wise counsel in his epistle: “Little children, keep yourselves from idols” (1 John 5:21, KJV).
Love is indifferent to athletic competition; it rejoices in the success of others. In sports, one person wins and the strongest receives the prize. In love, all who take part are victorious and receive the reward.
Love does not show off
Pride often declares, “Look how handsome I am!” or “Look how beautiful I am!”
God values beauty, and therefore He created everything perfect and beautiful. The Bible tells us that Satan was the most beautiful of created beings—“Thou sealest up the sum, full of wisdom, and perfect in beauty” (Ezekiel 28:12, KJV). It then states, “Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness” (Ezekiel 28:17, KJV).
Being attractive is not a sin. Caring for one’s appearance is natural and normal. But at some point, I may realize that I possess an extraordinary appearance that other people admire. I then begin to exalt myself in my own thoughts and place myself above others. Admiring looks, endless compliments, and “likes” on social media become a drug for the soul, and I feel that I must keep meeting that high standard.
People try to attain society’s accepted standard of beauty, sparing neither money nor time. As a result, enormous sums are spent to adorn a perishable body and impress others. Many people will not allow themselves to appear in public without expensive makeup or exclusive clothing. The demon of beauty freely torments its victims.
Youth gives a person natural beauty. At some point, a young person begins to understand that an attractive appearance gives strength and influence. But time passes: wrinkles appear, hair turns gray, and skin loses its firmness. Weight gain or excessive thinness changes the body. The aging process is irreversible. What happens to a proud person then? That person becomes despondent and uses every possible effort and means to remain on the pedestal of beauty. Believers are no exception.
“For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away” (1 Peter 1:24, KJV). But the Bible also describes an inner beauty found in a godly character. Friendliness, cheerfulness, and a meek and quiet spirit adorn every person at every age. Such people may not outwardly stand out in any way, but their inner beauty will draw others to them. Love gives the person who possesses it an imperishable beauty.
Love and fashion
“Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:3–4, KJV).
Fashion is another invention of Satan, who imposes a particular style of clothing and behavior on his followers. Fashion demands strict conformity to fleeting rules and standards. A person who does not dress fashionably is ridiculed and isolated. A fashionably dressed person, by contrast, is accepted as one of the group and feels confident in any company. How should God’s children conduct themselves in this matter?
There is nothing wrong with following current fashion in certain areas of life when it does not conflict with God’s standards and is appropriate for the time and place. But when fashion changes and moves on, and I spend considerable money and time trying to keep up with it, I will have to answer to God for my wastefulness and my influence on others. Once I succeed in conforming to the latest trend, I feel superior to those who have not. But fashion never stands still, so I chase after it again, losing sound judgment and squandering the talents entrusted to me. I am trying to build my happiness on sand.
What kind of vacation is fashionable now? Any travel agency will tell you where you can spend your savings in a short time.
What kind of body is considered attractive now? Any movie or magazine will show you today’s standard of beauty.
What food is fashionable? The kind most frequently displayed on billboards and in commercials.
What faith is popular now? Faith in oneself and in one’s good deeds, which must be put on display.
What car is fashionable now? The latest model from the most expensive manufacturer.
What lifestyle is fashionable today? Minimum effort and maximum pleasure.
What kind of family is fashionable? Living together without marriage.
How many children are fashionable? One—or, better yet, none.
What kind of job is considered prestigious? An office job in a white shirt with a laptop.
What god is fashionable now? Mammon.
Fashion is promoted through movies, glossy magazines, and the media. It is an entire industry designed to impose values and extract money from people.
Love is sensible. It pays attention to what is happening in the world but does not blindly follow fashion. Love is discerning and rational; it knows the value of money and knows how to direct it toward good rather than harm to the soul. Love does not fear ridicule or social pressure. Love adorns the person who possesses it with an imperishable beauty that is valued in every age and every society.
“Little children, keep yourselves from idols” (1 John 5:21, KJV).