Once our daughter told us that a boy, playing with her at our friends' house, led her behind a wardrobe, took off his underwear and began showing her what was underneath, asking her not to tell anyone about this. And then he told her to show him the contents of her underwear too. But our child decided first to consult with us. My wife immediately understood what was happening and looked sternly at this little boy, which greatly frightened him. We didn't publicly illuminate this situation because it was all very unexpected, and we had no experience of how to react properly to such incidents.
A similar incident prompted us to enlighten our daughter in these matters, and we began to ask God for wisdom and decided to delve into this topic. The Lord showed us that although our children are small, the enemy of the soul is already looking for loopholes to their hearts, sending them unclean thoughts and pushing them toward wrong actions. We knew this boy's parents and understood that they couldn't have taught him this, but somehow sin reached the young consciousness and pushed the innocent child toward such actions.
Our daughter, although still small, already understood that society is divided into boys and girls, men and women. And when we asked her to determine where some are and where others are, she did this almost without error. Confusion was caused by men's clothing and short haircuts on women or long hair on men. It was very interesting to delve into childish logic and notice by what criteria she distinguishes one sex from another.
What the daughter saw in her young friend prompted her to ask us many questions. For example, why does he have what she doesn't have? My wife and I had to find decent pictures and enlighten our child on this matter.
We understood that sooner or later she would begin asking about this, and if we didn't tell her, others would. Therefore we took the initiative into our own hands and explained everything to our daughter, beginning the narrative from the day of creation, leading to the fact that sin became the reason why people needed long clothing. We read our daughter those verses where it was said about what clothing should be on a man and woman, what length these garments should be, and why one shouldn't expose their body publicly.
When our daughter went to bathe, my wife and I took turns on duty near the bathtub to monitor the child's safety. But now we decided that only my wife would bathe her, and we explained why.
The daughter very quickly understood the truth that she is a little woman, and what God concealed under her clothing, she shouldn't expose and show to anyone, except mama, in exceptional cases daddy, and doctors if there's necessity.
We also made her understand that if some girls want to examine intimate details of her body, she shouldn't show them anything either and shouldn't look at what they decide to demonstrate to her.
We also asked her to immediately share with us if similar incidents occur in their children's society. She promised to do this.
Considering our daughter's age, we didn't enlighten her according to the full program on this matter, and she was satisfied with what we told her. And later, from her correct answers to our unexpected questions about how one should act if this or that happens, we understood that the lesson was learned and the mind keeps everything under its control.
Any joint washing or bathing of different sexes simultaneously we also excluded from our rules, and this wasn't accepted by us anyway.
We also decided to tell our daughter where children come from, omitting delicate moments of marital relations. Other people had already taken care of this topic to properly and clearly present this to children, and we showed her this whole process in a scientific film.
Looking ahead, I'll say that small children don't delve deeply into the details of childbirth. Visible facts are more interesting to them, but over time they have a question about where the seed comes from which forms the fruit. Here we had to explain that such a topic will open at a more mature age, which doesn't satisfy the young listener at all.
Considering that the world has made sin a science and displays all its abominations for show, and is aimed at corrupting young minds, parents' task includes getting ahead of the world in providing correct and useful information about the essence of things. Whether we want it or not, our children must learn the right things earlier than the world will offer this. And in this matter it's necessary to definitely get ahead of the enemy of the soul.
Putting our daughter to bed, we made sure she didn't spend a long time awake in bed, but fell asleep immediately. We also accustomed her so that her hands always lay on top of the blanket and made sure she never kept them in her underwear, touching what shouldn't be touched. We didn't focus attention on this so as not to arouse childish curiosity and not generate extra thoughts on this topic in the child's mind, but were very attentive to everything concerning intimate questions during the child's physical growth.
Regarding hygiene, my wife already taught our little daughter how to properly and quickly independently wash delicate parts of the body and how often this should be done. And when our daughter grew up and began monitoring the cleanliness of her body herself, we consciously limited shower time to a minimum and kept this under strict control, so as not to give occasion for unclean and lustful actions.
With age, themes about sexual education also changed, and we always had to ask for wisdom from above to get ahead of the world in these matters, but not make this topic the main one. And the Lord in each case after our conversations conveyed the meaning of what was said to the child's consciousness and convinced our daughter of what we couldn't explain to her in detail. Cooperation with God is very important in educating and instructing young minds. We don't see what forces of evil our children encounter, but the Lord knows this and applies His hand and influence to our efforts, which contributes to successful assimilation of valuable lessons and knowledge and rejection of what is unclean and sinful.
Having enlightened our young soul, we also didn't forget about our friends' son and decided to talk with them on this topic and share our discoveries. We had no evil toward this boy, as we understood that he became a victim of incomprehensible temptations, and his father and mother didn't know this. The parents were frightened by such behavior of their son, but very wisely approached solving this question, enlightening their little son in all spheres of knowledge permissible for his age.
After this our children peacefully played with each other, and they no longer had similar incidents, and we became more attentive to our children's games.
It's difficult to say at what time the enemy of the soul begins to put his temptations into children's hearts and influence their imagination. But we understand that preventing some vice is much easier than later correcting it. Our whole life is a constant struggle with forces of evil and with that bad influence that the world has on us, and not only we are involved in this struggle, but all our relatives and close people for whom we bear responsibility.
Questions for Reflection
Please read Prov. 1:8; 5:11-13; 22:4,6; Gen. 2:25; 3:7-11,21; Ex. 20:26; 28:42; Lev. 18:6; Deut. 22:5; Isa. 47:2-3; Hosea 2:9-10; Rev. 3:18; in light of this lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? From what age can parents enlighten their children in the sphere of diversity and peculiarities of gender differences? Should children be instilled from childhood with concepts of chastity, decency and modesty in clothing? Should parents themselves correspond to those principles they want to lay in the child's mind? What to do if the world's customs force you and your children to publicly expose your body? How to handle visiting pools and beaches? Should we pay attention at all to our nakedness and clothing, and children's clothing, when everyone around behaves as they want? 1 Pet. 2:9. Do you think children understand or will understand what chastity, modesty and decency in clothing and appearance are? Why is it so important to instill chastity skills in children from childhood? Should we wait until the world tempts your children, and then begin enlightening them about what's good and what's bad? What to do if children have already seen everything and don't pay attention to their nakedness and the nakedness of their relatives? Does God pay attention to what we and our children wear and how decently we look?