An unusual period of getting to know each other began in our family. It's called "pregnancy." If we say that this is only a trial for the woman who carries the child, that sounds rather strange. We are one flesh, and everything that happens within our family and with each of us affects both of us.
My wife at first didn't realize or suspect at all that she was pregnant, although, as we were told, there are special urine tests by which one can determine the presence of fertilization. But we initially gave this question to God and asked Him to notify us about what happened at the right time. When my wife had a delay of the usual period, she didn't say anything to me about it, but decided to wait a little, and then undergo examination by a women's doctor. Anything can happen, and she didn't want to worry me without good reason. But when she received testimony about the conception of new life, she could no longer contain her joy.
The psychological approach during pregnancy is very important, since a global restructuring of all functions occurs in the female organism, and this can result in mental disorders, general malaise, constant nausea and fatigue, for which we are not prepared.
I already knew something about this period, but didn't particularly go into details, but now I wanted to study everything thoroughly and become a specialist in this area.
Since I like the practical use of acquired knowledge, I decided to also be pregnant for a while to better understand my spouse's condition. I sewed myself a special belt on the sewing machine, which was attached to the lower back, and had a bag in front for filling with weights. To avoid causing unnecessary questions from strangers, I initially put heavy metal objects in this belt, and then decided during vacation to carry a large watermelon for several days. While the weights were light and compact, one could adapt to them and somehow carry them, but when it came to the watermelon, something began that I don't really want to describe.
We went to the countryside at this time so as not to attract special attention to me. Our experiments greatly amused my wife, and she followed me with interest, being distracted from her concerns. My daily routine turned into something very heavy in the lower part of the body. Any walks were an amazing endurance test for me, and I impatiently awaited each evening when I could lie on my side and relax.
Although I understand that such experiments shouldn't be conducted and prolonged, as they can cause unforeseen muscle and spine injuries, at least a few hours of practicing something similar should be done to immerse oneself in the inner world of a pregnant woman.
When I, having experienced such a trial, removed all the weight from myself, I felt so sorry for my spouse. I understood what she would have to face and what she couldn't avoid. This understanding helped later to calmly accept all her whims and be ready for any turn of events.
As is known, from conception to birth the fetus develops over the course of 9 months. Although the restructuring of the woman's organism begins from the first day of conception, in the first months this may not announce itself at all.
The child's body needs everything necessary for its construction, and the baby doesn't ask permission for this or that material, but takes the necessary components from mom and makes them part of itself.
We studied this question, and we were given such a breakdown of what products and vitamins are necessary to take on which week to restore the necessary balance.
A woman's breast begins to increase slightly in size at a certain time, which can cause additional pain and unpleasant sensations.
Some women may experience depression or toxicosis may begin, and some may have both simultaneously. In our case, starting from the third month, nausea appeared, which periodically resulted in vomiting. And this condition lasted approximately until the seventh month, sometimes subsiding, sometimes intensifying. But this isn't a rule for all pregnant women, but rather was our trial. We tried many different pieces of advice, and the only thing that helped us was eating sunflower seeds. The nausea would pass, but body weight increased.
At some point in the pregnancy my spouse stopped approaching the mirror so as not to get upset, and she didn't care anymore how she looked. My spouse didn't want to primp at all.
Our family councils became more frequent and came down to me having to patiently listen to how my wife felt, and dream about when all this would end. But at the same time we learned to rejoice in the upcoming events connected with the appearance of a new little person, and dreamed about what he would be like, and how wonderful it would be.
We prayed a lot and studied the works of those people who taught us through their books how to raise our child so as to later obtain eternal blessing, having in our family one more righteous person.
We also found courses in psychological support for pregnant women, where they told us about what women and their husbands face during this time, what happens in the organism, and how it's better to behave during this period. They also taught us what stretching and relaxation exercises are worth doing, and what shouldn't be done. I was surprised that being pregnant is a whole science that includes all aspects for normal interaction of spirit, soul and bodies of both spouses. At these courses my wife became acquainted with other future mommies and very quickly became friends with them. While I worked outside the home, they visited each other, sharing their problems and knowledge, supporting one another and sympathizing with each other. And then I listened every evening about new discoveries and about how soon all this would end with childbirth.
For many families the time of pregnancy can become a serious trial of faithfulness and patience. Unfortunately, many husbands don't want to delve into their spouse's problems, into what she faces, and how hard it is for her. They only wait for a ready child to brag about this before their friends and relatives, but don't want to delve into their woman's inner world and participate in her concerns and experiences. But a woman very much needs her husband's support, even if she doesn't want to see him.
Even if a pregnant wife declares her strange desires and new tastes that don't fit into male logic, a man shouldn't focus attention on these things and find fault with something, defending something. You are dealing with a unique creation whose mood can change so quickly in one direction or another that you need to be ready for any trial and accept everything with patience and love, agreeing with everything, if it doesn't kill you. This trial is temporary, and you need to set yourself up for the fact that it will soon end, and everything will be different. Such a period is laid by God into the formation of our relationships and characters, so the Lord also provides necessary support during this time. There's no general rule for everyone, and even a repeated pregnancy in the same family can proceed completely differently. But the first time is always special.
Questions for Reflection
Please read Eccl.11:5; Eph.5:25; John.13:34-35; Gen.3:16; Ruth 4:13; Luke.1:15; 2:3-7; Ps.21:10-11; 138:13-16; Is.46:3-4; 49:1; Hos.12:2-3; 2Kings.4:14-17 in light of this lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? What is pregnancy? Is pregnancy only women's concerns, or is it an event for the whole family? Should a husband remember that his wife is carrying his child too? Do you think the relationship between parents during pregnancy affects the character of their future child? Is it necessary to study the principles of child-rearing before their appearance in the world? Should a husband understand what his wife experiences during pregnancy? Where can one learn the correct behavior of a husband toward a pregnant wife? Should one judge another woman who is carrying a child by one's own experience, or should each case be considered separately? Does the Lord know what happens in the heart, head and belly of a pregnant woman? What benefit will knowledge about how a man needs to live and act during pregnancy bring? What should you do if your spouse is indifferent to the fact that his child is growing in your belly?