The first child is unique in that he makes you a discoverer of the child's world. Starting from the moment of conception and then from transition from one stage of growth to another, he constantly surprises and delights you with his new achievements and changes. And you, observing him, rejoice in what happens in his body, in the development of his consciousness, in how he learns about the world and quickly adapts to any conditions of life. But the most pleasant thing in this observation is the realization that the child is a part of you and your spouse, a product of our love, which God forms before our eyes from one stage of growth to another, until this person reaches the fullness of the age of Christ.
God laid laws of time into the human body, which under normal development activate certain processes, and we see interesting changes in the life and thinking of our children.
At first our daughter lay as we placed her, but when she began to turn over independently, we understood that it became dangerous to leave her unattended, as she could roll off the bed.
When she learned to sit, it was no longer interesting for her to lie down. She tried to spend all her working time sitting on her bottom. Then she mastered the technique of movement and could independently reach desired objects and study them. She liked mom's closet most of all. She took all things out of there and could tirelessly examine and rearrange them. And when we needed to attend to our affairs so that we wouldn't be distracted, we would seat our daughter by the closet and could relax for a couple of hours, after which everything had to be carefully folded back.
When the child learned to stand independently, holding onto tall objects, then she wanted to sit less and less, and we sometimes took her hands and tried to walk with her. She swayed like in heavy rolling on a ship, but she tried with all her might and each time more confidently moved her legs and didn't worry at all that she still couldn't do anything. We impatiently waited for when she would begin to walk independently, but we didn't hurry this event and rejoiced in each new discovery in her development. First words, first teeth, first conscious hand movements, first smile — all this brought us into such rapture that we could discuss these events for hours and gladly tell all our relatives about it.
And for our parents this child became a special blessing, as they again immersed themselves in the world of their youth and again experienced what they once experienced with us.
We decided from the very first days to teach our daughter love and constantly spoke and demonstrated to her how we love each other. And she occupied herself with her little affairs and seemed to be completely uninterested in our relationship. But we sowed this seed, believing that everything was recorded in her subconscious and that this would be very useful to her.
The Lord didn't create man with an empty heart. It will necessarily be filled with something. And if it won't be good and good seeds, then the enemy of the soul will fill this place with his plants, which will constantly make themselves known and grow quickly if no attention is paid to them.
We were explained that the first days and years of life are the most important in laying the foundation of the child's character, and therefore we always asked God for wisdom to do everything correctly.
But still we had some disagreements and disagreements on various questions. I wanted to harden our daughter through contrast baths and cold air, but my wife was against such mockery of a helpless creature and always carefully wrapped our daughter in whatever she could. And our daughter herself didn't welcome my attempts to wash her in cold water and expressed piercing protest against such rough treatment of her. But warm water was to her taste, and she could bathe for hours, splashing and enjoying this wonderful liquid.
On one fine day our child habitually stood by the sofa, holding onto the armrest, and I decided to call her to me so that she would independently walk this difficult path. She let go of her hands and headed toward me, swaying from side to side, but staying on her feet. I encouraged her with my compliments and words of support, and she, beaming with happiness, moved in my direction. My wife also with joy and delight inspired our walker to take another step, and when our daughter reached the final goal and fell into my embrace, our house resounded with the victorious cry of our delight, and our young creation laughed more than anyone, perhaps understanding that something special had happened. We sat down in the middle of the room and began asking our daughter to go to mom, and then to dad, and she again and again took these first independent steps under our exclamations of joy and encouragement. And if she fell, our hands were ready to support her and save her from bruises.
Different children take their first steps at different times, and sometime this time comes, so one shouldn't worry if the child still can't walk by himself. This will happen sometime and will make you very happy. And this will be the most unforgettable day!
This event is also significant in that at this very moment a person becomes an independent personality and takes his first independent steps into big life. And we as parents must teach the little person many independent things, so that sometime we can release him forever into this big and dangerous world and observe how his ship will move, and how strong it will prove to be in the storms of many trials.
Any ship is built in a quiet harbor, where there are no storms and cataclysms, in order to then go out to the open sea and worthily meet all those trials for which it was designed. It is not built to remain forever at the shipyard and delight its constructors with itself and its strength, but to serve its creators and fulfill those tasks that will be placed upon it.
The Lord also prepares us, His people, for coming trials, investing all His wisdom in us, rejoicing in our first independent steps and inspiring us for subsequent movements in His work.
Our child began to grow quickly and confidently achieve all intended goals. Joy from the first steps was replaced by concern that she shouldn't break anything yet or pull something onto herself. We had to keep all our daughter's movements under constant observation and explain what was possible and what was forbidden to touch, where she could go and where she shouldn't. Although forbidden fruit is always sweet, we always asked for wisdom to give correct instructions and not form complexes or unnecessary barriers in the child's consciousness.
Choosing one or another line of upbringing, we were guided by Biblical instructions, indications of the Spirit of Prophecy and advice of wise people who had already passed this path and could predict all pernicious or good consequences of one or another model of upbringing. Although we were frightened that if we raised our daughter in strict rules, then like a hothouse plant she wouldn't be able to survive in the harsh world, in these cases we relied more on God and His recommendations than on the opinion of such experts. And as life subsequently showed, God's methods are the best.
Questions for Reflection
Please read Gen.21:8; Ruth 4:16; Heb.5:12; 1Sam.1:22-24; Ps.130:1-3; Is.11:6-9; 48:15; Jer.31:20; Matt.18:1-7 in light of this lesson. What other verses from the Bible came to your mind? What did you understand from this lesson? Did you have first steps? Why is it so joyful to see how a child begins to undertake something independently for the first time? Should one despair if you experience a fall during first steps? And is it necessary at all to start something for the first time? If someone has already passed his path and learned to walk, will this experience be a blessing for me? Is support from those around you needed and important when you take first steps? Does a child's independence carry certain danger? With which step does a thousand-kilometer journey begin? Why don't all subsequent steps cause as much joy as the first steps? Why must all ships be built in a quiet harbor, and not during a storm? What will one learn who is always carried in arms?