Imagine someone who makes you a promise, then changes his mind and promises something else—or promises nothing at all. How many plans can you make when someone approaches commitments this way? Unfortunately, we have learned to live in just such a world.
Of course, there are situations in which I am pressured into promising to do something that would harm me or others. It is also possible that I did not fully understand what was being proposed and later realized that it was not for me. In such a case, I have the right to reconsider my promise and decline.
For example, if I am single and plan to join my life with a young woman who has won my heart, and I promise to marry her if she agrees, I should first get to know her better and determine whether this is the right choice, whether she will be faithful to me and to God in her love, and whether I will be able to make her happy. If, before the wedding, I discover something that would destroy our family and withdraw from this undertaking, it is not a breach of faithfulness but a change in my decision. But if we have entered into marriage and then realize that we are different, that is not a reason to end the relationship.
Conditional promises should not be confused with vital, lifelong commitments.
I have often encountered situations in which people bound themselves by promises, even though the circumstances of life showed that they needed to abandon what they had decided. Yet they could not bring themselves to do so and plunged themselves into various sorrows that could have been avoided.
I was once taught a wonderful and powerful phrase that resolves many issues quickly and painlessly: ‘I am very sorry, but…’
So how is my faithfulness expressed? Some everyday matters are decided on a personal level and may be changed or canceled. But there are principles that should not be violated, because doing so can have catastrophic consequences.
It is important to understand the source of faithfulness.
From a human standpoint, I can plan my life within the limits of my freedom of choice. My faithfulness to my promises and decisions may provide support and stability for someone else. But I can change. Therefore, no one should build his happiness on another human being.
But is God faithful? Here we enter an entirely different understanding of faithfulness. Imagine the Creator of the Universe constantly changing laws and requirements—deciding one thing today and changing His mind tomorrow. It is frightening even to imagine. Everything would descend into chaos. But the Bible teaches that God does not change and that He is faithful to what He has promised. It is God’s faithfulness that gives me a solid foundation for my own faithfulness. I have Someone Whose example I can follow.
God’s example also shows me that He has unconditional promises and others that depend on certain actions on my part. God openly declares that He may change His blessings or judgments when people change. But in matters of universal importance, God is unshakable.
As I study God’s character, I discover the very solid Foundation of His principles, His love, and His wisdom.
God’s unconditional promises do not depend on anything. They will be fulfilled even if I do not believe them and live contrary to God’s expectations and commands. These include the close of probation, the outpouring of the seven plagues upon the Earth, the Second Coming of Christ, the Millennium, God’s judgment, the destruction of sin and sinners, the creation of a New Earth and a New Heaven, and Eternal life throughout the endless ages.
Even if I do not believe any of this, it will happen exactly as God has set forth in His plans. Christ will come. This will certainly take place, regardless of my belief or unbelief. But if I rely on God’s unconditional promises, I understand what is happening around me and can plan my life on the basis of my knowledge and God’s requirements. The Lord will fulfill all His promises, including what He has personally promised me in the Word of God.
My ignorance of God’s promises deprives me of many blessings. I cannot ask for something I do not know about.
Another situation may arise. I decide that God can make me a foot and a half taller and begin asking Him to do it, since He can do anything. In that case, I will be deeply disappointed in the Creator’s omnipotence, because I will receive nothing. But if, for example, I pray for something He has promised and fulfill the conditions of that promise, the Lord will certainly accomplish it if it is His will, although His answer may be delayed.
We must remember that God is not a magic wand, but a Person Who is too wise to make a mistake. If I ask Him to feed me candy because I consider it tasty and healthy, I believe that in His love He will not give me what I ask for, but will offer exactly what is for my good. Or if I ask Him to heal someone from a fatal illness, the answer to that request rests in God’s hands, because I do not know whether that miracle would be to His glory or whether something bad might happen in the life of the person who recovered.
I am faithful. This is my determination to reflect God’s faithfulness to the principles of His law and to carry out what He has revealed to me. It is my desire to honor the commitments and promises by which I have bound myself to God and to other people.
Agape love protects me from inner burnout and fanaticism in my faithfulness to my principles. Like a wise teacher, it calmly explains how I should relate to life, how best to behave toward people, what I should promise and fulfill, and what I should avoid. Love leads me through various trials and remains with me in my difficulties and mistakes. It teaches me how to be disappointed in people in the right way while continuing to love them. Love is faithful in its desire to love always, because it follows the example of its Source and His faithfulness in unconditional love. If love is made conditional—if its boundaries are limited by the lawlessness I desire and by my inborn selfishness—it will simply grow cold and die.
Diligently studying God’s will and His promises gives me faith that, in any need, I may ask for what He has promised and receive it, because He Who promised is faithful and with Him there is not even a shadow of change.
Of course, it would be foolish to demand that God immediately fulfill what He has promised without regard for His will, or to approach Him with a presumptuous spirit. It is equally unacceptable to give God an ultimatum or try to intimidate Him with my disobedience.
In personal fellowship, I may speak with the Lord as well as I know how and understand. He does not object if I argue with Him, quarrel with Him, accuse Him, shake my fists, or demand something. He has undertaken to raise me, accepting me as I am, with all the ‘bugs in my head,’ but He will not leave me that way forever. He knows how to humble what is proud and create what is new. He has enough power and resources to make me into what He desires to see. I am very precious to Him, and He will shape me into what He wants me to become. In this process I am transformed. While the clay is soft, its form can be changed; but after it has passed through the fire, it becomes faithful and unchanging in the purpose for which it was shaped.
Faith and love teach me what is good, and my faithfulness in this training strengthens us in a lasting union. We are happy with one another, and God is with us—the One Who is always faithful to us in His love.
Bible verses for this chapter:
Deuteronomy 7:9; 32:4; Revelation 3:14; James 1:17; 1 Corinthians 10:13; 1 Thessalonians 5:24; Hebrews 10:23–24; Romans 8:35–39; Isaiah 54:10; Proverbs 2:10–11; Romans 5:8; 1 John 4:11, 17; 5:3