He and she looked at each other and realized that at last they had met the person of whom they had dreamed for so long. They had only recently reached adulthood and felt quite independent. Their believing parents had given them freedom to make their own decisions. This led them to reevaluate their values, and the young people began arranging their own lives and building their personal relationships with God.
Then one beautiful day, he and she noticed each other at a youth convention and realized that this meeting was no accident. The person looking so intently and cheerfully into the other’s eyes was the long-awaited answer to a prayer of faith. They were drawn to each other like magnets and understood that love at first sight truly existed and that something extremely important and significant was now taking place.
Relying upon their feelings and intuition, they decided to develop the relationship and asked God together in prayer to bless their friendship. Time ceased to exist for them. They could talk for hours about everything under the sun, believing that this celebration within their souls would never end. And why should it, since they loved each other?
One day, he decided carefully to take her hand in his, and with childlike trust she allowed her beloved to do so. Something resembling an electric current passed through their bodies. This innocent touch made them feel so good that they decided to spend their time together this way from then on. Even during prayer, the young couple did not want to release each other, and the joy of such closeness overflowed their young and pure hearts.
One day, they gathered their courage and entered her church holding hands, thereby attracting the attention of everyone in the congregation, especially her friends. He proved to be an interesting conversationalist and, during the Sabbath School lesson discussion, occasionally released her hand so that he could open the Bible to the appropriate passage.
He and she were so focused upon each other that they built a high fence around their relationship so that no one could interfere with their inner world, sow anything harmful, or express an opinion about their friendship. They were prepared to defend their relationship by any means and did not allow suspicious fellow believers to come near them. Although no one was trying to prevent their friendship, they still noticed people looking at them in different ways. Some looked at them with a smile, some expressed undisguised regret, and some friends asked when the wedding would take place.
They began seriously considering that starting a family would be a wise decision. Married life would allow them lawfully to do what they desired so passionately, yet from which they restrained themselves because they understood that it was wrong to rush ahead.
Then the day came when he decided to take the next step. Embracing his girlfriend, he confidently kissed her on the lips. Both felt slightly dizzy and never wanted to be apart again. As though spellbound, they pressed close to each other, understanding only that this was true love and that they had simply been made for one another. She closed her eyes with pleasure and, with childlike trust, allowed him to continue kissing her, joyfully returning his kisses. She felt his hands caressing her back, but subconsciously made sure they did not move below her waist, gently repositioning them whenever that boundary was crossed.
Their relationship entered a new stage. Holding hands no longer brought their hearts the same joy, and they decided always to walk with their arms around each other to show others how happy they were. From time to time, they exchanged kisses to strengthen their friendship. When spending time this way became normal for them, they decided to demonstrate their love for one another among their friends and later in church as well, tenderly holding each other around the waist. They decided not to kiss in public, although their loving glances made it clear to everyone that a wedding would soon take place.
Someone advised them to undergo premarital counseling. They gave a curt agreement, although they understood that their feelings for each other were so strong and constant, and their attachment so powerful, that additional advice would be unnecessary for them.
Then they came to meet with the pastor, who began asking serious questions that bewildered them and left them at a loss. They realized that they knew each other very poorly, but their mutual love covered this insignificant deficiency. They answered every question cheerfully, unequivocally assuring their counselor that not everything he told them was so important, because they loved each other so deeply. They had only one question for the pastor: ‘When can he perform their wedding ceremony?’ But when they understood that they had no chance until they completed their premarital counseling, they decided to go through this formal procedure and joyfully awaited the moment when they could finally say the long-awaited ‘I do. I do.’ to the whole world.
During another meeting, she decided to sit on her boyfriend’s lap so that she could be closer to him in their embrace. They felt so good together while spending time this way that they lost all sense of time. Their hands no longer recognized any boundaries and increasingly delighted their hearts through accidental yet pleasurable caresses. They loved each other so much that they no longer had any barriers within their personal space. Yet some invisible force restrained their feelings, suggesting that they should wait a little and not develop before the wedding what they so greatly desired to experience in order to strengthen their mutual love even further.
At last, their union received approval, and this became the main factor restraining their intimacy. They joyfully decided to wait for the wedding celebration and afterward continue their relationship in the way they desired.
But our friends had other friends who had also met one another, yet decided not to touch each other until they understood how well suited they were and whether God approved their relationship. They prayed often for one another, read books together about building a family and raising children, and sought people who could give them wise advice for building family happiness. Brief sessions during premarital counseling were not enough for them. They sought additional people who could share their life experience and explain what a happy family should—and should not—be like. They wrote every valuable thought and piece of advice in a notebook so that they could discuss it together later and surrender it to God in prayer. They did not hurry toward a wedding date, understanding that everything should be approached wisely and have God’s blessing. They enjoyed communicating with each other, but did not neglect their other responsibilities, joyfully carrying out their daily duties.
When people asked about their wedding, they modestly replied that they still knew each other poorly and did not want to make a mistake by getting ahead of events.
The period of their friendship became a time of fasting and prayer. They greatly desired the approval of God, their parents, and the church. Although they felt a personal attraction toward each other, they understood that feelings are not a very reliable counselor. Therefore, they decided to approach their friendship with sober judgment.
Bible Verses for Reflection
Genesis 3:7; 6:1–5; 24:2–4, 11–14, 19–21, 58–61; 29:10–12; Proverbs 6:20–25; Hebrews 13:21; Ephesians 3:16–19; Revelation 14:4; Romans 8:14; 1 John 4:11.