When the Lord created human beings, every detail of our design was carefully thought out, beginning with the smallest quarks and atoms that make up all the molecules and cells of the body. Every millimeter of the human body fits harmoniously into the overall design and communicates very successfully with all the other organs, together composing and representing one person. Amid all this diversity and the astonishing complexity of countless internal processes, we can see the harmonious combination and interaction of spirit, soul, and body.
Breathing keeps us alive, and food from outside nourishes our bodies. Our thoughts and feelings help us choose our path in life, while the body adapts to our choice and develops within the boundaries established either by us or by our circumstances.
Within me are certain companions called hormones. They respond very quickly to what is happening around me. In some amazing way, they are closely connected with all my senses, and they also monitor my every thought so that they can respond promptly and appropriately to what is taking place in my mind.
If I see a lion approaching me who considers himself a ‘tourist’ and sees me as ‘the tourist’s breakfast,’ my adrenal glands begin producing so much adrenaline that I can climb a tall tree very quickly and skillfully and remain there until the lion grows tired of waiting for me below.
Every kind of hormone is given to us for a particular purpose. Dopamine stimulates the brain’s pleasure center. Endorphins gladden the heart and lessen pain. Insulin regulates carbohydrate metabolism and helps the body use excess glucose. Serotonin gives me a good mood and brings happiness. Melatonin regulates the body’s circadian rhythms and is a powerful antioxidant that restores bodily functions during sleep. Testosterone is responsible for sexual desire and promotes the development of bone and muscle tissue. Cortisol protects the body from the destructive effects of stress and regulates blood pressure.
All this and much more exists within me under the collective name ‘human being.’
The influence of my internal processes upon my mind and mood, and the influence of my mind upon my inner world, are mutual—like a two-way road with its own rules and laws.
When I choose happiness, the workings of my hormones may make me feel very bad. But when I declare the direction I have chosen for my life on a new day, I begin to experience amazing processes as happiness responds to what is happening around me.
When I choose love, I may be indignant at injustice and hate the person who hurt me. But this path opens the door to God’s Spirit, my feelings realign themselves with the direction I have chosen, and I love from a pure heart, rejoicing in the victory I have gained.
When I choose love for one another, I may be riding a wave of dopamine today, but a couple of days later that surge may subside, and my flesh may tell me that I overdid it with such a decision and acted too hastily. But I choose to love my friend and confidently continue in that direction, calling upon power from Above—and it comes. And I love my friend at all times.
As I interact with a friend, I experience various hormonal processes within myself that may surge unexpectedly or decline. My friend experiences something similar, but in his or her own way. And if my friend is a woman, it should be taken into account that once a month she goes through a menstrual cycle, which can affect her behavior very strongly and unpredictably and may come as a surprise.
It should also be taken into account that sexual attraction may arise in a friendship with someone of the opposite sex. Under the influence of the corresponding hormones, it can take control of a person’s will and cause a great deal of harm.
The apostle Paul saw laws like these at work within himself and exclaimed, ‘O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?’ Romans 7:24.
My principles of life, which are based on God’s Word, help me understand what is happening between us and within us and make the right decisions when something goes wrong in the relationship. Love helps correct hormonal imbalances. Hormones obey our Savior, and He knows how to restrain or release them. When we invite Jesus into our love for one another and ask Him to bless this friendship, we should believe that He accomplishes everything.
We may pass through the fire of hormonal hurricanes that will bring our carnal nature back to life, but love will not allow these storms to intensify.
Simple, honest, sincere communication about our inner experiences will resolve a great many misunderstandings.
I do not know what is happening in another person’s life while that person remains silent. When I was seventeen and attending a vocational school, I had to miss an entire day without explaining my absence. A close friend of mine had been stabbed to death in a fight, and I spent the whole day at his funeral. The next day, my teacher scolded me and threatened to expel me for skipping school. I did not want to defend myself because I was grieving the loss so deeply that I did not care what happened next. All I wanted to do was cry, but I silently listened to our homeroom teacher and said nothing. When the teacher contacted my mother and she told him everything, he sincerely apologized to me and, for the rest of my time at the school, never again subjected me to his threats.
Not every friend will share his sorrow with me, because he may wish to spare me and protect me from the additional burden of his problems. But such problems affect the biochemistry of a relationship, and we should not be afraid of this. The prayer of faith can resolve and settle a great deal that we do not understand. A relationship of trust helps us bear one another’s burdens and address many issues cheerfully and with simplicity of heart.
If I become an intrusive friend, even with good intentions, I should expect conflict. Although no one can have too much love and friendship, if I disregard my friend’s freedom and fill all of his personal space with myself, he will certainly dislike it and will eventually want a break from me. Therefore, I should always ask permission before entering closely into the life of someone dear to me, even if that person invites me to remain nearby at all times. ‘Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour’s house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.’ Proverbs 25:17.
Even in Eternity, each of us will have our own eternal personal dwelling—a home in which I myself will be the master and no one will prevent me from being alone for solitude, reflection, and prayer.
At times, while talking with a friend, I hear or speak words of love and friendship, and something interesting happens within me as those words are spoken. My happiness hormones go through the roof, and I feel like jumping. Yet the very same words, when spoken to or by another person, are received calmly. Why does this happen? I do not want to be a hypocrite, but my biochemistry decides to respond in this way.
Sometimes I shake someone’s hand in greeting and forget about it, but after shaking the hand of a dear friend, I do not even want to wash my hand because I want to preserve the joy I felt during our meeting.
But regardless of how I may feel under the influence of my companions, everything must remain under the control of my mind, and my mind must remain under the control of Jesus.
Bible Verses for Reflection
Romans 7:14–25; 2 Samuel 13:1–17; Proverbs 17:22; Psalm 42:4–6; 92:6; 139:13–18, 23–24; Genesis 1:27; Matthew 12:15; 24:12; Revelation 3:21.