We are studying in an interesting School with an unusual name. If anyone thinks that nothing is happening among us and that we are wasting our own time and the time of others, read the name of our School carefully. It is exactly what it says: we are learning to love. For some, this process moves quickly; others do not understand what is supposed to happen or how it will all end. But the Lord does not keep us in one place. He leads us toward amazing discoveries as we come to know one another.
I want both to assure you and to warn you that, as you learn to love one another with agape love, someday you will receive everything for which you studied and spent your precious time learning this science. The School of Agape Love does not end when this love itself is acquired. Instead, it moves into a new stage of relationships that contains many different revelations and trials.
The Lord gave us the commandment to love one another. He stated it three times without changing the meaning of love, but adding distinctive qualities of the relationships within it. Then the time comes when I decide to begin obeying this commandment and find a friend for this purpose who does not object to loving me according to the same command of God. Not everyone will dare to take such a beautiful step, and I will not choose just anyone for the role of a friend whom I am to love with agape. Saying it is easy, but finding the person and doing it are entirely different matters. However it may take place, God’s blessing and approval must rest upon everything.
It is good when two brothers love one another and begin growing in that love. Likewise, if two sisters decide upon unconditional love, such a relationship will cause no misunderstandings and will be regarded as normal. Yet the commandment to love one another places no restrictions upon us according to sex. Obeying Christ’s command has the following feature: a brother must love a sister, and a sister must love a brother. But what about Christian ethics? And what will such love look like?
My friends, I want to assure you that when you decide to enter this path, you will certainly come to the necessity of loving someone who is unlike you and represents your complete opposite, yet agrees to mutual love.
When I purchased my first smartphone, I immediately appreciated its advantages for carrying out many kinds of work and activities that I had previously tried to handle with a computer, camera, basic cell phone, and other devices, spending a great deal of time and money. One day, a moment came in my life when I realized that certain social networks were stealing my best time and drawing me deeper and deeper. I was being offered a world of friends along with every kind of entertainment and pleasure, all enticing me through their easy availability. At some point, I realized that the smartphone had begun manipulating my will, luring me into places I should not enter. I greatly disliked this. I decided to execute my phone and render it unusable. But the Lord prevented me from carrying out this foolish decision, impressing upon me that the problem was not in the phone but in my head. I would not become a victor by breaking an expensive item. I would have to buy a new one, because our modern lives are connected to this device, which makes everyday living easier in many ways. Victory consists in learning, while carrying such technology in my pocket, to use only those advantages that bring benefit and blessing, while rejecting everything that steals time and pollutes the purity of my thoughts. In this struggle, I must prevail.
I liked this approach and decided to watch what the smartphone was doing in my life and which one of us was controlling the other. It worked. Although my carnal nature sometimes draws me toward the garbage dump, I plan my time and interests in such a way that I do not enter dangerous territory, and I remove every temptation from my field of vision.
Within church fellowship, friendship and love between people of the opposite sex are governed by certain rules that are important to know and not violate. There are also stereotypes by which we are accustomed to orienting ourselves, considering them the norm of life. But when I decide to keep God’s commandment and choose a person of the opposite sex for this purpose, whether I want it or not, I invite the fire of trials into my life, and my chosen friend experiences the same thing. Everyone who desires to love one another must pass through this fire. The Lord will not shield us from this interesting trial, but He is ready to be with us so that the flame does not scorch us.
When, as a married man, I choose a sister as a friend and we decide to love one another, we open our hearts to this mutual agape, which is not like what is shown in movies, but is very deep and intense. I enter a world of new experiences that shatter all my previous ideas about friendship and reveal a new beauty and depth of relationship that I never even dreamed of. Agape teaches me to love genuinely and wholeheartedly. This same love also passes through the heart of your friend and produces the same effect. In any other case, it is not agape but something human or incomplete. I understand that the Lord is showing me the unknown, and the only thing I desire is to preserve the purity and holiness of the relationship, not allowing the flesh to raise its repulsive head in order to seize control of my will.
At some point, I become afraid and understand that the fire is very hot and unquenchable. I cry out to the Lord for protection, ask Him to be with me, and deeply desire to run away from all of it. But I understand that love bears all things and bears them rightly. The Lord desires to see me as a victor within the fire, not among the curious spectators.
If I plan to love my friend without having any feelings toward that person, it is unclear what kind of future I am imagining for myself.
Many times I have witnessed fellow believers violate the seventh commandment. This strengthened my conviction that friendship and love between a sister and a brother could not exist. But the Lord reveals the true picture. He teaches that genuine agape must exist between His children, but it must be right, with God’s throne and the Lord’s principles at the center of the relationship.
The fire of agape love does not burn me; instead, it cleanses my heart from carnal and lustful desires. I learn to love my friend, enter the fire of this love, study and observe every process, and rejoice in and enjoy new discoveries and experiences.
Love shows me the nature and character of my friend. Within that person’s open heart, I see such an abundance of inexhaustible treasures that I immediately hurry to tell my friend about them. In turn, my friend shares with me the blessings discovered within me.
Honest communication about our new feelings and experiences helps us analyze what is happening, pray for one another, and make wise decisions concerning the next steps in our love.
Reading about someone else is very simple and interesting, but when this fire is burning within you, it is an entirely different perception of life.
My love for my wife did not diminish when a friend who loved me appeared in my life. Over time, there are more and more of these friends, and all of us love one another. And this is beautiful!
Bible Verses for Reflection
Isaiah 43:2; 1 Peter 1:22; 2:17; 4:8; John 13:34–35; 15:12–13, 17–18; 17:26; Revelation 3:17–18; Jeremiah 32:3; Matthew 24:12; 1 John 3:16; 4:7–13; Romans 5:5; 12:9; 1 Corinthians 13:4–8; 16:14; Galatians 5:13, 22–23; Ephesians 4:15.