Whether we want to or not, each of us will have to travel the whole course of life and achieve many of the goals we have set, and then appear before God with all of it and give an account for everything.
I very often observe the following situation. When someone plans something, he prepares himself for failure, a spoiled mood, and defeat, so that afterward he can declare, ‘I knew it!’
A person goes on vacation intending to have a pleasant time with his family, yet thinks only about the possibility that the weather may turn bad. The weather can be unpredictable, and very often it ruins the plans that have been made. As a result, everything and everyone around him becomes responsible for his spoiled mood.
My expectation of failure gives me no chance of experiencing anything beautiful in my life. I am playing a lottery in which I continually lose my happiness and joy.
‘That is exactly what I thought!’ ‘But I warned you!’ ‘The grass is always greener somewhere else!’ These and similar slogans become the sad epilogue to everything that could have ended differently.
We have all experienced disappointments, failures, and losses. I never gamble or buy lottery tickets, because all of this is Satan’s invention for continually robbing and disappointing us and teaching us that our whole life is a game in which success comes by chance. Placing our hope in a lucky break or a winning ticket proves to be yet another castle in the air which, like a mirage in the desert, dissolves before our eyes when we try to grasp it.
I have decided to live my life in joy and happiness, in love and friendliness. I know that interesting trials await me—trials that will test my faith, try to tempt me, or destroy my life. My heart is set on possessing a happy spirit. My personal motto is, ‘Wherever I am is a good place to be!’ I have Jesus, Who will always help resolve even the most difficult situation in whatever way He considers best. But I myself decide what my attitude toward the problem will be.
If I want to have a pleasant time somewhere, I am not troubled by the weather, difficulties, or unforeseen adventures. I set my mind on victory and move confidently toward it.
In 2018, I was supposed to fly to another country to conduct my first-ever seminar about love and friendship. All my preparations took place at the last moment, and I barely made it in time to check in for the flight. Then I leisurely headed toward the gate, strolling through the airport and assuming that the plane would not leave without me. To my surprise, at the end of the terminal I came to a closed door—a door that had closed for good. I understood that my trip was now in question and that this was the consequence of my ignorance. But I had to decide what to do next with the situation. Thoughts pressed into my mind, seeking to spoil my mood, accuse me of carelessness, and reproach me with the idea that everything would have been better if I had acted differently. A struggle was taking place upon which the happiness of my new day depended. I decided to be happy and grateful for everything, because I was on vacation and wanted to enjoy it. It was very difficult to rejoice, but I determined to respond to my foolishness in exactly that way. And you know what? It worked. Although I had to travel to the meeting place by bus, I had set my heart on happiness, and happiness remained with me.
When I plan to become someone’s friend, this includes my friendliness, my love, and my kind attitude toward this new gift from God. The new friend’s free will may respond in any way, and I do not know what will come of it, but my expectation of happiness is my personal choice.
If I decide to love and ask God to establish me in that choice, I have support from above and can boldly remain in agape even if the decision is one-sided. Love is already a victory. It is the one certain way out of any situation. It is a winning ticket that will surely enrich my life and my experience.
‘But what if it works?’ This line of thought is optimistic, yet the little word ‘if’ gives me an opportunity to retreat. I am counting on chance and risking defeat. But why take a risk where I can be a victor?
I am not speaking about self-confidence, in which life can very quickly expose my foolishness and ignorance. Once I entrusted a coworker with building formwork and pouring concrete into it. I could see that the structure was weak and would not withstand the pressure, but my assistant assured me so convincingly that everything would be fine that I left him and drove to another jobsite, seeking to avoid worrying. When I arrived at the construction site the next day, my coworker looked like a whipped dog. With downcast eyes, he apologized for something that could no longer be corrected. His structure had not withstood the pressure, and what was supposed to be straight according to the plan looked very crooked.
My expectation of happiness may resemble that structure made of boards, which will certainly be tested. If I violate every law of happiness yet decide to remain happy, perhaps I will be happy—but everything around me will turn out crooked.
When people are dying nearby, my visible joy would be inappropriate, but that does not mean I should fall into despair. My expectation of happiness must have a firm biblical foundation. Then it will not matter what expression is on my face at that moment, because peace will reign within my heart, and I will be able to pass that peace on to others.
‘We will have a wonderful time!’ When we build our future with this expectation and do everything possible to reach that ‘wonderful,’ we will be victorious. And if we also study the science of our ‘wonderful’ and put it into practice in our relationships, then we truly will have a wonderful time. It will become a consistent result rather than a matter of chance.
When people start a family, they believe they will be as happy in it as they were before the wedding. But trials come and reveal the weak places in the relationship. How should they live from that point forward? There are two paths. One can blame the other person for every trouble and seek allies in doing so. Or the two can examine the heart of the problem and preferably seek a wise solution together. The ship of happiness on which we sail through life belongs to both of us, and we must decide whether it should continue sailing or be allowed to sink.
Friendship is also a spiritual family, with its own laws and distinctive qualities. It is tested no less severely. An intention to be friends only under certain conditions allows for the possibility that the friendship will fail. But a commitment to victory and permanence makes me genuine, because my friendliness rests upon Christ. By His example, He teaches me to love, to be a friend, to look at life cheerfully, and simply to live while enjoying the blessings of God’s presence that accompany my choice.
By choosing love, I commit myself to victory, but my negative attitude can disappoint me even in Eternal values and return me to the proverbial broken trough with nothing.
If I have decided to become a wise builder and build my house upon a rock, I should study the laws of construction and, knowing them, boldly begin the work. Something beautiful will certainly result.
If, in my desire to become a friend, I choose agape for this purpose, something beautiful will result. And if my friend has the same intention, together we will be able to build our shared ‘Wonderful.’
Bible Verses for Reflection
Ecclesiastes 5:1; 8:15; Matthew 6:22–23; Luke 11:33–36; 1 Timothy 6:17–19; Psalm 133:1; Proverbs 31:10–12, 18, 25–26, 30; James 3:14–18; Ecclesiastes 6:11–12; 9:4–10; 11:4–9; 12:13–14; 2 Corinthians 5:10.