A long time ago, while reading books about happy family life—even books by unbelieving authors—I noticed an interesting feature. All these people said that happiness cannot exist without mutual love and that unconditional love protects children from external spiritual attacks. How I longed for someone to love me in this way! But we do not choose our parents, and I simply did not know what it meant to love unconditionally. A certain restrictive barrier stood within my mind that I could not overcome. I did not even try, because I believed that a person must be loved for some reason, while loving someone without a reason depended only upon one’s mood and applied only to good people.
Once I read that children must be wrapped in love before they are sent out of the home into the world, so that this love will protect them throughout the day. The author assured me convincingly that this was vitally important for a child and gave him confidence to overcome every difficulty in life. I looked at my little daughter and wondered what all this looked like in practice. Where could I obtain such clothing? Who could show me what it looked like in real life? It was easy to speak figuratively, but I did not know how to apply this image in life.
For some reason, I believed that words of love were intended for couples in love so that they could enjoy themselves before the wedding. Afterward, love had to be proved through actions. I was not alone in understanding it this way.
One day, I came across the book The Five Love Languages. It opened my eyes to the fact that love has its own principles and qualities, which each person perceives differently. I identified my love language and waited for someone to begin speaking it to me. But for some reason, those close to me did not seek to bring me joy through their love, even if they knew the language of my heart. I simply did not know how to love anyone unconditionally. I loved as well as I knew how, believing that sincerity was what mattered most. But my sincerity changed together with my mood.
When I was a teenager, there was a man in my life—my cousin’s father, Uncle Misha—who always treated me with love and respect, welcomed my suggestions, and never scolded me for my mistakes. Being with him was easy and interesting. Because he worked as a bathhouse attendant at an upscale establishment of that time, I regularly visited him at work and used the steam room and sauna free of charge. But what I loved most was Uncle Misha’s friendly attitude toward me. He was always happy to see me, paid attention to my small needs, and helped me in whatever ways he could.
Time passed, and Uncle Misha died. Lung cancer carried him to the grave very quickly. At his funeral, I could not believe that this great friend was gone. It felt as though my heart had been buried with him. I did not know where to find another person who loved in the same way, nor did I search for one.
It is difficult to reflect upon love or discuss its influence when you do not possess it and have no one who loves you. There is nothing with which to compare it, and in such a condition, you must invent it for yourself.
But I liked the thought that love protects the person who is loved. I carried it carefully within my heart, believing that someday it would be useful to me. My little daughter was the first person upon whom I tested my new understanding of love. I saw how much she enjoyed being a beloved little girl and that this protected her to some degree. But I was inconsistent in this attitude and could change it according to my mood. We all understand that our parents made many mistakes, yet they cared for us and loved us as well as they could, and we forgive them. But when raising your own child, you always regret missed opportunities that can never be recovered.
Now that the Lord has given me Himself in the gift of agape love and is teaching me how to use it, I understand the influence love exerts upon a person’s mind and worldview, protecting him on every side. Even simple words of love spoken at the right time provide very powerful support for many wounded hearts. Although a person expects actions, at a subconscious level he needs acceptance and unconditional love. This is how we are made within, and we must remember it. Even animals understand this language; intelligent human beings will understand and accept it all the more.
Although the most powerful support in spiritual conflict is knowing that God loves me, this requires faith, a good imagination, and memory. Human love is unique because it can be seen and heard. It can quickly convince you that someone loves you and that you are very dear to him.
The greatest blessing for any children is the love their parents have for one another, which extends to the children themselves. The atmosphere of Heaven reigns in such families, and a person who sees love within his home finds it easy to imagine God’s love as well.
My love for my friend is my decision, yet it is also Heaven’s gift to my friend. This love contains special protection and support for the person I love. Words of love are also very important. The enemy of the soul hears what I bestow upon my beloved friend. In essence, I am saying: ‘May God, Who protects and preserves me within me, also be with you according to my word, protecting and preserving you.’ It may sound as simple as this: ‘I love you very much, my friend. You are very dear to me.’ These and similar words of love wrap around a person’s mind like a shield, protecting him from many attacks. He simply pays no attention to things that otherwise might harm him or spoil his mood. The enemy of the soul knows the power of words of love and fears that we may sincerely give them to one another. He has no power to overcome those whom God enfolds through our human wishes and kind words.
Have you noticed that sometimes even a simple compliment lifts your spirits, so that you do not see the dirt beneath your feet or pay attention to many things happening around you? There is even a saying that, for those in love, the sea is only knee-deep and no storm can trouble them.
People may forget what you said to them, but they will never forget how they felt while communicating with you. If my love does not make my friend feel good, then either something is wrong with my friend or something is wrong with me. My words and assurances of unconditional love give God authority to pour this very love into my friend’s life according to my word and bring my declarations to fulfillment.
If words of love mean nothing to many of you, remember that they play an enormous role and exert great influence in the spiritual world. Love is one of God’s names. When He hears that He is being invited into our relationships, He comes.
Words also possess creative power within a person’s spiritual world. If you continually and sincerely tell your friend about your love for him, eventually he will accept it and live in it, enjoying the depth of this relationship and becoming free from the stereotypes accepted by society.
Do not wait for someone to love you someday. Begin loving others yourself and wrapping your friends in God’s protection through your words, and they will certainly respond in the same way. Do you want to be loved? Give this love to others, and it will return to you. Do not worry if no result is visible at first. The seed must germinate, spring up, and mature into good fruit.
Bible Verses for Reflection
Isaiah 44:26; Philippians 1:8; Psalm 91:14–16; John 13:34–35; 1 John 1:7; 4:7–16; 2 Thessalonians 2:16–17; 1 Thessalonians 4:9; Philippians 2:1–2; Romans 12:9–10; Galatians 6:7–10; Colossians 4:6; Isaiah 58:10–11.