The more deeply you explore the concept of friendship and try to describe it in words, the more you realize that it is a great mystery of the soul that cannot always be expressed in this way.
This bond between you and your friend is invisible to the eye, yet it joins your hearts with strong threads of love and heartfelt affection.
We are accustomed to children being born into the world. We have studied this process, and someone has even managed to record the development of an embryo within its mother’s womb. The entire sequence of a child’s prenatal development has been charted day by day, and special smartphone apps have been created to display the process. Yet no one can explain why a person develops in precisely this way. It is also remarkable that this person simply did not exist anywhere before. You did not know that he would ever appear, and you could not imagine how your life would change when he was born. Then he appeared, and the world became different. Now all your activities are planned around the fact that this person is present in your life. He is a part of you, your heart is with him, and there is no escaping it. You are attached to him. This bond changes its form through the years, but it does not end. These invisible threads of love bind your heart forever to a little person who previously had never been present in your life or even in your plans. You do not know what he will become or how your future relationship will develop, but you decide to love and care for this human being. No matter how difficult it may be, this child is yours forever.
My friends were not part of my plans. When I asked God for love, I did not even suspect that together with it, He would also give me you, my friends. You were not in my life. I did not know you or plan to have you. I did not even know what agape friendship was or that it existed. But the Lord began giving you to me, and you began appearing in my life and shining like stars. At first, I found it interesting and did not understand what was happening or why my heart was becoming attached to you. Then I decided that these relationships should be permanent and never end, and I began praying that God would bless us in this. Many of you do not even know that my life is bound to yours by the strongest bonds of love and friendship. But I made this decision and asked for God’s blessing and approval, and He answered. How can this be seen? Through deeds? Through words? It is much deeper, and I do not know how to explain it. Perhaps these are merely problems within my heart. Perhaps this should not be happening. Perhaps I invented it myself and am simply rejoicing over my own imagination. Yet I read the Bible, study the life of Jesus, and see that my love for my friends does not contradict God’s will. Indeed, this is exactly what it should be like. Moreover, it should be mutual. I begin speaking about it, but in response, I hear ridicule, unbelief, and misunderstanding. Then I must carry everything within myself and share it only with Jesus. I often ask Him in prayer to keep this heartfelt affection pure and right, having nothing in common with sin. And the Lord listens and answers.
Now I have dared to tell you about this. Yet I understand that there are no words capable of explaining the joy of realizing that you exist, that you have appeared in my life forever, that a part of my heart is with you, and that this is from God. What you decide to do with me is your own choice.
I know that this is not the end but the beginning of new acquaintances and bonds that will never end. They will be taken into Eternity so that these relationships may continue there as well.
The only thing that can destroy this bond is my sin, which the enemy of souls persistently offers me. But I do not want to live in sin. I flee from it, refusing to dwell in it. God sees this desire within me and preserves me from evil.
I also rejoice that many of you are not yet present in my life or even in my plans. But you are present in God’s plans for me. When He gives you to me, you will appear in my life, take a place in my heart forever, and bring me joy throughout my life simply because you exist.
Why am I writing this? I am simply sharing with you what takes place within a loving heart so that when you notice the same thing within yourself, you will not be afraid. Instead, you will remember me and receive it as a gift from the Lord.
No one is forcing me to speak about this, and my confession places no obligation upon anyone. There is no reason to pretend that something exists when it does not. I am simply sharing this in a lesson about love, trying to convey that within the human heart and within friendship are inexplicable things for which the necessary words simply do not exist. Yet they can be experienced.
Sometimes you wonder what will happen with a person if you openly and directly tell him about your love for him—within the boundaries of love and faithfulness toward your family, of course. How will he understand you? Will he hear you? Will he respond in the same way? Yet this commandment has been given to both of us and to all believers. I first try to express this carefully through words or hints. If I do not encounter a wall, I continue. But if I see misunderstanding or rejection, I accept it, step back, and begin to wait. I may wait a long time, perhaps for the rest of my life.
If I am received, I very gently explore how I should continue being a friend so that I may become established in this relationship and retain this status throughout my life.
Are there people with whom friendship is impossible and with whom we should not even begin establishing such a bond? Unfortunately, yes. The next chapter will address this.
Love has its own special language, which my heart understands perfectly and knows how to speak. Sometimes there are no words, yet the bond has been established. Another inexplicable quality of friendship is that God’s Spirit takes an active part in this event, adorning such relationships and making them right and perfect. At times, neither you nor your friend has said or done anything special, yet both of you are happy. There is no visible reason for it, but you are both delighted with each other, and there is no explanation. This is how it should be, and it is right.
But the enemy of souls desires to pervert everything. One person speaking with impure lips and presenting this relationship in a false light is enough to make the red warning light come on. Boundaries, walls, and fences are then erected so that this person will not continue thinking and speaking in that way. How often the envy, lies, and evil words of people close to us quickly destroy something that took years to build. This also happens in friendship. Every relationship passes through the fire of trial and reveals how strong and genuine it is.
But love boldly enters the fire. It is not afraid of further purification because it is already pure, and for me, love itself is the fire. It is love that reveals all my sins and the weaknesses of my soul.
Just as I cannot understand how a child develops within its mother, so in friendship, it is sometimes difficult to explain how this person entered my life forever and why his presence brings such joy to my heart, as though he were created to be my friend. This heartfelt affection joins us so firmly that afterward nothing can separate us if, from the beginning, we have allowed God to make us friends.
Can you imagine how the heart of Jesus becomes attached to us—to those whom He loves so deeply, calls, and awaits? How tenderly He protects these relationships while remaining faithful, tactful, and pure. He gives me an example of true friendship. The closer I come to Him, the more I marvel at what a wonderful Friend He is and what a marvelous Lord He is. He is not only my Savior but also the One Who loves me deeply.
Bible Verses for Reflection
1 John 4:7, 11; Proverbs 17:17; John 17:15–16; Ecclesiastes 5:4; Song of Solomon 8:7.