I will reveal a little secret to you that I am now ashamed to admit. At the very beginning of my Christian life, some of my new friends in the faith taught me by their example that a person could have a true understanding of God and faith while remaining an ordinary person with ordinary worldly character traits. I became so accustomed to this that I did not even try to change anything. I believed that after accepting the truth, I simply had to continue living until death and preserve my faith. To do this, I needed to perform good deeds, share my knowledge with other people, and continue learning from books. In my relationships with others, we were to love one another within our established boundaries, smiling pleasantly and speaking in quiet, calm voices.
When Eternity arrived, the happy life described so often in books would finally begin. New faithful friends would appear, the fullness of love would descend upon me, and we would hold hands, rejoice in our salvation, and obey God’s commandment to love one another. I would begin thinking about the happiness of others, and they would respond to me in the same way. We would never sin, and all quarrels would cease. Every disputed matter would be settled immediately and fade away in a spirit of friendship. But for now, I needed to withdraw into the land of “Me, Myself, and I” and strive with all my heart to remain faithful to the principles we had discovered, building the foundation of my faith upon a solid foundation. I lived this way for many years, unaware that anything could be changed in this familiar cycle of activities and discoveries.
I had always believed that Eternal life begins at the Second Coming of Christ. I was very surprised when I was shown in the Bible that it had already begun when I believed in Jesus and received Him as my Savior.
Then many questions arose. If I am already living eternally, why should I wait until the Second Coming to change something? I should begin living by the laws of Eternity now and treat others as I will treat them there. I began trying it, and it worked. It turns out that we can love unconditionally here as well. We can find friends and rejoice in their salvation and presence right now, today. We can pay for every service with love, and that works too. How fascinating!
I also made another discovery. There is agape love, and there is agape friendship. We have already written a little about love, but agape friendship is something new. I will say at once that this exact expression does not appear in the Bible. Yet the principle and meaning of such a relationship are visible to those who seek and love.
Love does not stand still. It longs for new discoveries and explores every possibility, seeking to understand how to make another person’s life better and friendship more joyful. When love is present in the heart and is given at the first request and whenever it is needed, it becomes very easy to love where love was once impossible and to love those toward whom I had been indifferent. Friendship with people who are especially dear to me moves toward a deeper understanding of the unconditional nature of these relationships. Only agape love is capable of this kind of friendship. Jesus gives us an eternal example of how He loves His friends. Why should I act differently? It is God’s love that brings clarity to the question of friendship.
The touch of agape love makes my friendship unconditional. It is impossible to show unconditional love while at the same time making it clear that I will be your friend only if you behave as I expect. Love sees everything, yet believes all things and endures all things. I believe that unconditional love is possible. I believe that unconditional mutual friendship exists.
Of course, one condition greatly helps keep friendship on the right course. It is good when this love is mutual within the relationship and when my friend understands that he is loved unconditionally. It is good when he responds in the same way.
According to the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:46, loving those who love you is a useless exercise if you do not also have love for your enemies and those who mistreat you. The distinctive quality of agape love is that it treats everyone in the same way. If you see its genuine expression toward an enemy, you know that it will also be genuine toward a friend.
Why did Jesus not give the commandment to love one another to the entire multitude during the Sermon on the Mount, but instead speak it at the very end, shortly before His death? Through His life, the Savior demonstrated an example of such love. Then He asked His disciples to show the same attitude toward one another. This was necessary. They could not attain it without power from above.
If I suddenly decide to love my enemy without understanding what love is or where it comes from, how long will I continue loving him? It will last only a very short time.
Once I heard the story of a believer who decided to love someone. But when his enemy began behaving with complete insolence, this believer became an unbeliever for five minutes, immediately settled every misunderstanding, and then turned back into a believer. The matter was resolved, and the enemy became quiet in his hatred. I was bewildered. Love does not behave this way. It does not use Satan’s services to achieve its purposes. Love is ready to die while remaining faithful to its principles.
I cannot imagine responding to people of the flesh according to their own nature. It would be like placing a wolf’s skin upon a sheep and sending it in that disguise into a pack of wolves. They would immediately recognize a stranger among them and take action.
When Christ was being led to trial, two disciples followed Him: John and Peter. John did not hide the fact that he was a disciple of Christ and kept away from the mob. He had no trouble with anyone. Peter, however, decided to blend into the crowd and remain unnoticed. It did not work, and he denied the Lord three times. I experienced something similar when I tried to love without possessing this gift. I wanted to prove to Jesus that I could produce something in this direction within myself. But He waited sadly for me to begin asking for something greater so that I would allow Him to love within me.
It is impossible to love eternally and unconditionally without the personal presence of Christ in the heart. It is likewise impossible to have unconditional friendship without possessing unconditional love. We can give our relationships this name without even understanding their essence and add that they are Christian. But Christianity begins where Christ reigns in the heart. Understanding this, I give Him that authority.
Friendship should be agape, but I cannot accomplish this by my own strength. I write about it to show that some goals are very high yet still attainable. When I understand what is expected of me and what I must do, I begin living accordingly. Jesus blesses me along this path as I learn to use and correctly understand His gifts.
It is so fascinating to have agape friendship within my heart. But for it to be practiced mutually, someone else must also be taught agape love so that the relationship does not remain one-sided and unbalanced.
Will we have agape friendship in Eternity? Yes. It cannot be otherwise, because there will be no conditions there. Has Eternal life already begun for you? If so, these laws of Eternity are already operating in your life, and they should be obeyed.
To look athletic, you can put on athletic clothing, and everyone will see an athlete in you.
I once considered myself a believer, and so that everyone could see it, I made myself a small gold cross and wore it continually. People respected me for it and regarded me as one of their own.
But friendship has no special clothing and no little crosses of friendship. It does, however, have Christ’s white raiment, which He counsels us to buy, put on, and wear. And we are to wear it now.
Bible Verses for Reflection
Romans 2:20–21, 29; Revelation 16:15; 3:18, 20; Hebrews 12:3–4; Colossians 2:9–10; Romans 6:13–14; 5:5, 10; Ephesians 2:4–6; Matthew 5:44–48; Luke 22:34; 14:27; John 15:8.