As I come to know God’s Love and discover all its depth, power, and beauty, I fill my mind with new revelations about this amazing state of the human soul united with Divine influence. With my mind I understand that this science surpasses my conceptions, yet at the same time it opens itself to me and absorbs me with its tenderness and depth. I enter the dark waters of an unexplored ocean, and a bright light is kindled in my life, illuminating everything and everyone.
And as a result of coming to know the Divine character in my practical life, I begin to share with others what I receive from above. And this fire cannot be contained.
Love is an entirely new teaching for me, one that does not fit into my stereotypes and bursts the old wineskins of my ideas and understanding. Yet it is close to a person and can fully coexist with his mind, influencing his thoughts and feelings very naturally and skillfully.
I love. I do not come to this understanding at once. But as I see how God’s power works within me and draws me toward good, bearing all things and enduring all things, I notice its constancy and immutability. And I gain the courage to tell my loved ones about it. And my calling leads me to see them begin to look at me with particular interest. In their view, I am some kind of abnormal person, because it is not customary to speak about love aloud.
After all, this is something personal, and it should be hidden from the eyes of strangers. No one should display it openly.
But I am simply bursting with it. And so I have told others what is happening to me and that I can no longer hold it back: I love, and it is so wonderful! It is better for me to be beaten for love than for my inborn selfishness. And I begin to speak about it wherever I consider it necessary and appropriate.
Love does not deprive me of reason, and it is obedient to my choice. It does not terrorize my thoughts. But it loves to act and to permeate everything around it, cleansing hearts and souls. And it begins this transformation with me.
It is such a joy to love! I had never imagined myself in such a role. I study the Bible and see how much is written there about love—sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly. And I understand that this is not my human invention, but God’s profound plan, which has begun to unfold and be fulfilled in my life and, through me, has become known to other people as well. And since this is from God, it is also something important for my salvation. And I understand this too.
Nothing washes my sinful heart so quickly and thoroughly as God’s Love, which proceeds from the One Who Is Love and Who shed His Blood so that I might live and love. In this sacrifice at Calvary I see unconditional Love for me, so that by coming to know it I may learn to love my loved ones and strangers unselfishly.
And I resolve to love; I gather courage and begin to speak about it aloud. And I understand that I have chosen a very interesting path and attitude toward people, and that now I will not be able to turn back and renounce what I have said, but must only move forward and continue to love. And at first I am afraid. For I know how my words will be received by those who know me very well. And that is exactly what happens. In response, I see smirks and crooked smiles, as if to say, ‘Go on, go on; now we will put you in your place and show you what a hypocrite you are.’
But Love does not let me fall flat on my face and works miracles in my life. It goes ahead of my words and transforms the hearts of my loved ones. I watch and marvel. But though I am open to Love and even understand to some extent what it is, I cannot say that my friends understand everything in the same way. Therefore, I am ready for anything.
And now the first step has been taken. I have set out on a path that is new to me, and I resolve to walk along it. I ask God to bless me in Love and to be with me and in me. And the Lord answers. And I learn.
But I still have bad habits and a little train of old ambitions trailing behind me and greatly hindering me. I managed to disguise some of the cars and give them a respectable appearance, while others had to be uncoupled and left behind forever. And I travel through life with this load, not even suspecting that I have it. When I roll downhill, these little cars push me along, and I do not feel them; but when I have to go uphill, the whole load falls upon my shoulders, and the Lord decides to help me. He exposes my sins, and I fall into despair.
And my loved ones, as though they had only been waiting for this, sneer with delight: ‘And you say that you love!!!’ And I am ashamed and have nothing to say. But I truly do love and can no longer renounce it. I have become different, though outwardly I am the same, and to my friends I am still the same person. I go to Jesus, and He receives me, assures me of His Love, and asks me to keep going. And I go. Once again Love overflows within me, and once again I speak about it. My old sins have passed into the past; they are no longer in my life, but the memory of them remains.
And once again I assure my loved ones of my love for them.
But I have my own understanding of Love, and they have theirs. I base all my thoughts and feelings on the Bible, comparing my life with the life of Christ and with God’s accounts; but I cannot know what my friends build upon until they tell me.
And then, once again, I am walking with my friend along the road of life, and we come to a crossroads where I see my path and my decision, while my friend holds different views. I continue onward, and in response I hear, ‘And you still talk about Love!’ It seems that my friend had only been waiting for the moment when he could say this to me. And if I had committed a sin, I would burn with shame; but I hear the reproach and try to understand how well-founded it is.
I see that this statement is based not on my failures, but on his incorrect understanding of what Love is. And I calmly continue on, asking Jesus, ‘Is this so, Lord?’ And He shows me His hands and says that this is how the world treats Love, so I should not be surprised at anything.
And I resolve to continue loving—to love always, to love eternally—and I call upon all of God’s power to support this decision. The Lord does not expect me to produce this within myself. It simply is not in me. And God applies His authority to my decisions, and together we walk through my life. I am in Him, and He is in me. It is so joyful and interesting! I love and speak about it, and God works in me both to will and to do of His good pleasure.
And I am no longer ashamed to love. I speak about it openly and see this power within me, how it comes from God at the right time to overcome and establish me in this victory. I love. Does anyone want to have such a strange friend? But this is real, and I have no intention of parting with it.
If anyone offered all the treasures of the world for Love, he would be rejected. But I give it freely, just because. And if it is pure and from the heart, then it does not matter to me what others say or think. I look at Christ, and His approving smile is greater to me than every reward.
Love does not contradict truth and the law, but establishes me in them. Yet sometimes one must act not only mercifully, but justly as well. In that case, I expect the reproach: ‘And you still talk about Love!’ But what else can I talk about if my heart is burning and desires to love? It is only in Love that there is a way out and a solution to many questions and problems.
And I also want to teach this to others. I resolve to try this as well. I wonder what they will say in response. ‘And you even teach others to love!’
Homework 199
What did you understand from this lesson? Should I be afraid of people’s opinions about my love? How should we understand the words of Luke 6:26: ‘Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you! for so did their fathers to the false prophets’? Does this apply to loving people? Do you expect everyone to agree with you in response to your love and to glorify God because of you? Have you heard reproaches directed at you in response to your love? What should I do if these reproaches have thrown me off course? What awaits those who choose the path of Love in spite of everything? Please read Matthew 5:10–12, 14–16; 7:16–20; 9:17; Zechariah 13:6; Romans 8:28; 10:10; 1 Corinthians 2:9; James 1:25–26; Luke 12:4–5; 1 Peter 2:19–24; 3:14; 4:19; 5:7, 10–11 in the light of our lesson.