What is love like? Can it be defined? How can I know whether I have it?
If we say that it is beautiful, that will be a rather relative description, because every person has his own idea of what is beautiful. To assert that love does not exist is the same as trying to convince people of a deception that few will believe, because all people have felt the touch of love.
I can describe how I understand it, how I see it in my life, and how it works in my heart, but you must decide for yourselves whether to believe me and whether the power of love will manifest itself in your heart as it does in mine.
I can say with confidence that agape love exists, and it is so real that it is simply impossible to confuse it with anything else. There are many counterfeits offered by the world, but God’s Love surpasses them in its depth, power, and beauty. It may come unexpectedly to give brief support in a certain situation and then leave. It is also able to enter my life in answer to prayer and remain forever if I desire and thirst to have it.
Love is not only a feeling or a principle; it is God Himself in me, Who has a special plan and intentions for me—for good and not for evil—to give me a future and a hope. Love is a new heart, a heart of flesh, which beats according to God’s will and does what is pleasing to Him.
I understand that love is in me and that it acts at the first need. I see how it penetrates every sphere of my life, dissolves into all my thoughts, keeps my feelings under control, and gives everything its meaning. I can speak openly about this. To say that I do not have it after I ask for it, receive it, and manifest it in my life would be to misrepresent God and deeply offend Him. It would be like a man who has a lawful wife claiming that he is not married. The relationship with God described here is very close and trusting, although I have never heard His actual voice. Yet He knows how to address me and speak to me in His own ways. And I hear God’s instructions, though at times I may fail to discern His words when He speaks very quietly to me about some small matters, leaving me the right to choose.
I manifest love toward my neighbors equally, although it is selective because it has and seeks an individual approach to every person. But when supernatural help and the full power of love are needed in order to gain the victory and not respond to the enemy according to the flesh, then I cry out to my Lord in a simple prayer and ask Him to give me this Heavenly gift, which I then receive. Sometimes it sounds like this: ‘Lord, I choose love, and this is precisely how I want to respond to this challenge. Bless me in this decision. Thank You.’ And love comes to give victory in the trial that has arisen. In God’s eyes, an overcomer is one who, in every situation and under every temptation, chooses God’s methods and principles for solving problems—that is, overcomes everything with love, prayer, and faith in the will of the Most High. And help comes from Heaven. God acts, although outwardly it may look like defeat because I kept silent, apologized, walked away, yielded, did not strike back, and did not continue or escalate the situation. But sometimes one must go all the way, plant the banner of truth, and entrust all the consequences to God.
I have noticed that Jesus never apologized to anyone. When love moves your entire being, all your motives are permeated with this very attitude, and there is no reason to be ashamed of it. And if I love someone, I am not ashamed of it. It is wrong to apologize for love.
Agape love cannot be confused with anything else. If it is present, I know that this is exactly what it is. It is that which never fails. It continually abides where Christ lives, and it manifests itself in a special way while always taking my choice into account and respecting my freedom. It seems to ask, ‘May I manifest myself here? May I put this right?’ And then it waits for my decision. But I may decide nothing.
For example, I am standing in line at a checkout, and in front of me is someone to whom love prompts me to say something pleasant, but I simply remain silent. God does not force me to do good, but He gives me many opportunities to manifest His Love without any reason or explanation. And sometimes I respond to these suggestions of love and cannot even understand why I acted exactly as I did. But the Lord knows.
When I am alone and occupied with my own affairs, love may not manifest itself visibly through me in any way, but when a neighbor appears, it is ready to act and only waits for my decision. Yet neighbors are all different. If a person is closed to me, I respect his freedom and do not plan to force my way into his life in order to fill it with something beautiful. I simply wait for someone whom I can help and to whom I can give something.
Love knows how to give. It also knows how to receive in order to give even more.
In my view, to love is the most beautiful attitude toward one’s neighbor and the best solution to many problems. It brings a special joy because I act in precisely this way. I speak much about love, perhaps even more than necessary. And I see that it does not affect some people at all, while it irritates others; then I become silent and simply live, placing love into the motive of one action or another. And if I see clear opposition to all my actions or plans, I do not climb onto the barricades to defend the truth, but quietly pray and rejoice that there are other people who need me and for whom I can do something.
Love sees everything. It understands people very well and recognizes the spirit that moves them, yet it chooses to love them too and to treat them with respect. But love also recognizes itself in other hearts, and it rejoices in this encounter and reaches toward it, although at the same time it gives me the right to choose whether to enter into a relationship.
Relationships of love develop very well with those who speak a language that I understand or that is native to me. It is very difficult for me to communicate with those who do not speak a language I know. And even with all my love for such a person, he remains a foreigner to me, and all my expressions of love have no meaning for him. Therefore, I have to limit myself to communicating with those who understand me, although deeds of love and loving care are understood by all people and even by animals.
The manifestation of agape in my life toward my neighbors is an answer to my prayers for the gift of love. If I ask for it, believe that I will receive an answer, and then see how God’s Love works in me and brings me joy, how can I say that it is not in me? It is there. And if someone does not see it, perhaps he expects a different manifestation of it and does not see my motives. Love is a spirit, and only spiritual eyes can see it in others in all its fullness. Therefore, do not be troubled if someone says that you have no love. If you ask for it and receive it, then you have this testimony within yourselves, while the opinion of an outside observer can only confuse you and is not so important, especially if he does not know you personally and has never seen you.
But woe is me if I claim to have love while acting according to the flesh, or if I use this holy name to cover personal or selfish interests. It is impossible to devise a worse representation of God’s character. God calls this hypocrisy and sin.
And ultimately, God Himself, Who is Love, knows exactly whether I have His Love. And He judges all my intentions.
Homework 160
What new things did you learn in this lesson? When inviting love into your life, would you like it to be a guest or the mistress of your soul? What effect does love produce when it takes up residence in your heart? Have you had experiences when you did not know how to act correctly, but as you prayed to God, He changed your thinking? Please share. Who is an overcomer in God’s eyes? How should we respond properly to those who do not believe in love? Please read Jeremiah 29:11–13; John 3:8; Psalm 51:10; Ezekiel 36:26–27; Song of Solomon 2:4; Galatians 2:19–20; Psalm 98:1; 1 Corinthians 15:57; and Romans 8:36–37; 12:21 in the light of our lesson.