Once I said that one can never have too many friends, intending one meaning, but later I saw that this could be understood in two ways. I meant that no matter how many friends there are, it is never too many. But some people understood my words differently. They decided that one should have few friends.
Now let us imagine the following situation. You ask the Lord for the gift of agape love. He answers and gives it to you, beginning to teach you how to use this power. As a result, you grow in favour with God and man and influence those around you. And those around you are not blind. They see in you the answer to their expectations and begin to be drawn to you. They understand that you are genuine and that your love for them is pure. They see that they are destined always to receive your kind treatment. Some are irritated by this, while others are drawn to you. Without even noticing it, you gain lifelong friends by investing your very best feelings and deeds in them. They tell others about you and bring to you people who are weary of lies and pretence. And these souls become attached to you with all their heart.
Wherever you go, your God-given love goes with you, and it cannot be hidden. It will reveal you from your very first word. And if someone’s heart is tuned to this wavelength, it will respond immediately to such treatment. At some point you realise that you have acquired a great many friends who like you and also want to be your friends. And some of them begin to love you in return and do so sincerely, from a pure heart.
A process of rethinking begins. You are friendly, and this magnet draws everyone to you. You do not object to such company; you are glad that, possessing God’s love, you can speak rightly about God’s will for this world. Yet the number of friends keeps growing. They do not leave you; they simply wait until you have time for them too. But some of them understand that friendship means an ongoing personal relationship and expect precisely this approach from you. What should you do? You cannot stop, and the farther you go, the more friends you gain. Eternity then becomes the solution to this problem. You understand that there you will be able to devote an incredible number of years to each friend, discovering a planet within that person and allowing yourself to be discovered.
And what should you do with those who have become attached to you here with all their heart? I think you should continue loving them and tenderly keep them in your heart as friends. They are greatly needed, and you can always share your happiness, love, and friendliness with them when these things overflow within you and you urgently need someone to relieve your heart of this burden. Friends receive very well that which fills your soul. In fact, there can be so much love that you simply want to give it away to everyone who responds. And if this will not work with strangers, friends will gladly receive it. Giving away that which overflows within you is a serious problem for a loving person. Many friends have only small vessels in their hearts, capable of receiving just a little, while you give them a cold shower. They seem glad, yet they are bewildered by such an abundance of blessings and want to hide away and recover.
Meanwhile, the magnet of your friendliness continues to work, drawing out from every hiding place those who respond to it.
We are given an amazing power of love, and its possibilities are colossal. Imagine a tsunami wave as high as a twenty-storey building rapidly approaching you. Love is far greater in its power to destroy and in its influence. It destroys all empty stereotypes and notions about love; it removes a bad mood; it washes away melancholy and loneliness; it completely destroys sin; it brings about a colossal restoration of the mind and shapes the human will. Love deals mercilessly with all its enemies, destroying them and driving them away for ever.
Do you need such a life? Imagine constant joy, the smiles of friends, words of love and inspiration, happiness that does not disappear even when your pockets and stomach are empty, inspiration from new victories, the discovery of new horizons—and all of this, watered with love, brings peace to the heart. Could you live with this? Do you need such a life?
And the greatest problem is finding someone whom you can make happy when you are bursting with the desire to do so. How these people resist and refuse to believe that you will succeed! But you do succeed.
Once, when I understood that friendship exists and works together with love, I took this understanding with me to a camp meeting and decided to share it with everyone. I offered my friendship to everyone I met and spoke with. My heart rejoiced in this experience. Then we all went home. Some time passed. One day I called my friends, and they told me that other friends who were visiting them sent me their greetings. I asked their names and could not understand where I had become friends with them. They reminded me of that camp meeting and told me how I had met them, offered myself to them as a friend, and they had responded. I felt so ashamed. I simply could not remember them. I am not against friendship with people, but one should remember those to whom one offers it. At that time, however, I wanted this experience so much that I had no idea what a foolish situation I would get myself into. I learnt something from it. Now I try to remember everyone to whom I offer something, and I ask God to bless my decisions regarding friendship. But over time I gained so many friends that I decided to be a friend to everyone, especially to my fellow believers, so that I would treat each person in precisely this way.
I also plan in Eternity to become a friend to all the redeemed who will be taken from Earth to Heaven, as well as to all God’s angels, to know each one personally, and to have very close relationships with them all. I think Eternity will make it possible to accomplish this task. I believe that there we will be given special abilities to carry out these plans.
I understand that since we are all one family, brothers and sisters, the very best relationships among us are love and friendship in obedience to God and faith in Jesus, which bring happiness. If these are absent, then it is some kind of defective Christianity. And if I accept this and choose such an approach in love, who can prevent me from living this way?
Whoever desires to have many friends must himself be friendly. And it works. But this is not merely my decision; it is a gift from Heaven. For it is impossible to act this way while possessing an evil heart filled with sin and deceit.
God desires to be glorified in my life and through my friendliness. He works through this gift, saving friends from many harmful things.
When you have many friends, how can you communicate with them all? They are like stars: you cannot always see them, but they are there. Love solves this problem too. Over the years such relationships do not disappear but continue to be just as joyful and friendly. I am open to everyone. Although it would be very difficult to receive them all at once if they came at the same moment, the Lord has resolved this matter as well. And do not be afraid to be my friend; it is a good undertaking, even though it lasts a lifetime. And it is so joyful!
All this is possible only in Jesus. It is He Who unites our hearts and our relationships with His love. Without Him there is emptiness, darkness, and death, but I choose life, happiness, love, and friendship. May the Lord bless me in this choice. And His blessing maketh rich, and He addeth no sorrow with it.
Homework 141
What new things did you learn from this lesson? How many friends do you think a person can have? Why do friendly people have more friends than others? How can you gain new friends by being friendly? Where can friends be found so that you may gain them? Do you need new friends? What does it mean to be a friend? Please read Proverbs 18:24; Colossians 3:15; 2 Timothy 3:2; 1 Peter 3:8; Revelation 21:1–3; and Leviticus 19:17–18 in the light of this lesson.