I will reveal a little secret that I am now ashamed to admit. At the very beginning of my Christian life, some of my new friends in the faith taught me by their example that, while possessing a true understanding of God and faith, one could remain an ordinary person with ordinary worldly traits of character. I became so accustomed to this that I did not even try to change anything. I believed that, having accepted the truth, I simply had to live until death and preserve my faith. For this, I needed to do something good, share my knowledge with other people, and continue learning from books. In communicating with those close to me, we were to love one another within our boundaries, smiling sweetly and speaking in quiet, calm voices.
When eternity came, that happy life about which so much is written in books would begin. New faithful friends would appear, the fullness of love would descend upon me, and we would hold hands, rejoice in our salvation, and fulfil God’s commandment to love one another. I would begin to think about the happiness of those close to me, and they would respond in the same way. We would never sin, and quarrels would cease. Every disputed question would be resolved immediately and fade away in the spirit of friendship. But for now, one had to immerse oneself in the land of keeping to oneself and try with all one’s heart to remain faithful to the principles we had discovered, building the foundation of one’s faith upon a firm footing. I lived this way for many years and did not know that anything could be changed in this familiar cycle of activities and discoveries.
I always believed that eternal life began at the Second Coming of Christ, and I was very surprised when I was shown in the Bible that it had already begun when I believed in Jesus and accepted Him as my Saviour.
Then many questions arose. If I am already living eternally, why should I wait for the Coming in order to change something? I must begin right now to live by the laws of eternity and treat others as it will be there. I began to try. It works. It turns out that one can love unconditionally here as well, find friends, and rejoice in their salvation and presence already now, today. And every service can be paid for with love. This works too. How interesting!
I also made another discovery. There is agape love, and there is agape friendship. We have already written a little about love, but agape friendship is something new. I will say at once that this phrase is not found in the Bible, but the principle and meaning of such relationships are visible to those who seek and love.
Love does not stand still. It thirsts for new discoveries and studies every possibility, seeking to understand how the lives of those close to us can be made better and friendship more joyful. When love is in the heart and is given at the first request and need, then it is very easy to love where this was impossible and to love those toward whom one was indifferent. Friendship with people who are especially dear to you moves toward a deeper awareness of the unconditional nature of these relationships. Only agape love is capable of friendship like this. Jesus gives an eternal example of how He loves His friends. Why should I act differently? It is God’s love that brings clarity to the question of friendship.
The touch of agape love makes my friendship unconditional, for it is impossible to show unconditional love while making it clear that I will be your friend only if you behave as I expect. Love sees everything, yet believes all things and endures all things. I believe that unconditional love is possible. I believe that unconditional mutual friendship exists.
Of course, there is one condition that greatly helps keep friendship on the right course. It is good when this love in the relationship is mutual and my friend understands that he is loved unconditionally. It is good when he responds in the same way.
According to Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:46, loving those who love you is a useless occupation if you do not also have love for enemies and offenders. The distinctive quality of agape love is that it treats everyone alike. If you see its genuine manifestation toward an enemy, you know that it will also be genuine toward a friend.
Why did Jesus not give the commandment to love one another to all the people during the Sermon on the Mount, but spoke it at the very end, before His death? By His life the Saviour showed an example of such love, and then asked His disciples to show the same attitude toward one another. This was necessary. They could not attain it without power from above.
If I suddenly decide to love my enemy without understanding what love is or where it comes from, how long will I love? It will last only a very short time.
Once I heard the story of a believer who decided to love someone. But when his enemy began behaving completely shamelessly, this believer became an unbeliever for five minutes, immediately settled every misunderstanding, and then turned back into a believer. The matter was resolved, and the enemy quieted down in his hatred. I was perplexed. Love does not behave this way. It does not use Satan’s services to achieve its goals. It is ready to die while remaining true to its principles.
I cannot imagine responding to carnal people according to their nature. It is like trying to put a wolfskin on a sheep and send it in that guise into a pack of wolves. They will immediately realize that there is a stranger among them and will take action.
When Christ was led to judgment, two disciples, John and Peter, followed Him. John did not conceal that he was Christ’s disciple and kept away from the rabble. He had no problems with anyone. Peter decided to blend into the crowd and remain unnoticed, but it did not work, and he denied the Lord three times. I experienced something similar when I tried to love without possessing this gift. I wanted to prove to Jesus that I could reproduce something in this direction within myself. And He waited sadly for me to begin asking for more, so that I would allow Him to love within me.
To love eternally and unconditionally without Christ’s personal presence in the heart is impossible. To have unconditional friendship without possessing unconditional love is likewise impossible. One may call such relationships unconditional without even understanding their essence, and also add that they are Christian; but Christianity begins where Christ reigns in the heart. Understanding this, I give Him that authority.
Friendship should be agape, but I cannot achieve this by myself. I write about it to show that there are goals that are very high yet attainable. When I realize what is expected of me and what I must do, I begin to live that way, and Jesus blesses me on this path, teaching me to use and correctly understand His gifts.
It is so interesting to have agape friendship in one’s heart. But for it to be applied mutually, someone should be taught agape love so that these relationships are not one-sided and distorted.
Will we have agape friendship in eternity? Yes; it cannot be otherwise, for there will be no conditions there. Has eternal life already begun for you? If so, these laws of eternity are already operating in your life, and they should be observed.
To look athletic, one can put on sportswear, and everyone will see an athlete in you.
I once believed that I was a believer, and so that everyone would see it, I made myself a little cross of gold and wore it constantly. People respected me for this and considered me one of their own.
But friendship has no special clothing or little crosses of friendship. There is, however, the white raiment of Christ, which He counsels us to buy, put on, and wear—even now.
Homework 138
What new thing did you learn from this lesson? Do you enjoy dwelling in the land of keeping to yourself? Can one truly love friends without loving enemies? Do you believe in agape friendship here on earth already? If not, why not? Why is it so important to deny oneself in order to learn agape love? What does Jesus counsel us to do in order to obtain white raiment? Please read Romans 2:20–21, 29; Revelation 16:15; 3:18, 20; Hebrews 12:3–4; Colossians 2:9–10; Romans 6:13–14; 5:5, 10; Ephesians 2:4–6; Matthew 5:44–48; Luke 22:34; 14:27; and John 15:8 in the light of this lesson.