And now I love. It is so interesting and joyful. It brings new thoughts, new feelings, new emotions, and new plans into my life. It is the most powerful weapon in the entire Universe, entrusted to me. It is also many, many other things that are very difficult to describe in words, and much more that is revealed step by step.
And when I immerse myself in this new world, previously unknown to me, I am amazed at the opportunities and influence that the Lord reveals.
And many questions arise to which no one but God can give an unequivocal answer. And the Holy Spirit teaches me those simple truths that are in complete harmony with God’s law.
One of the most frequent and difficult questions sounds approximately like this: ‘Can a brother love a sister without violating God’s commandments?’
The world has an unequivocal answer that creates a firmly established stereotype of relationships and, like a high wall, sets boundaries for my mind: ‘There is no such thing as friendship between a man and a woman!!!’ Many peoples and societies have accepted this rule and made it part of their culture and thinking, or even their religion. It has a special advantage in preserving the moral purity of relationships amid widespread corruption. However, this understanding also brings psychological problems, and many people develop mental disorders.
We were created by Love for love. And when I return to this condition, I enter into harmonious relationships with my neighbours. I live at peace with everyone. My heart finds peace in loving those around me. It also desires to receive the same love from them so that it may rejoice in such relationships. If this is taken away, a person begins to search for it.
But the enemy of the soul seeks an opportunity to pervert my mind and lead me into sin. For this reason, God gave the seventh commandment, which says: ‘Thou shalt not commit adultery.’
Adultery is physical unfaithfulness, a sexual relationship with someone who is married and lawfully belongs to another person. If it occurs between people who are not married, it is called fornication. Any sexual perversions also fall under the law of the seventh commandment and are condemned by God.
Jesus broadened the understanding of this commandment, making it clear that it can also be violated at the level of the heart and thoughts. Of course, there is a difference between thinking and doing, but in the eyes of Heaven both become transgressors.
But what happens to my heart when I begin to love? Of course, I must consider toward whom my love is directed. If it is an evil person, I want to shut myself away and have no contact with him. Through my flesh, the wicked one tries to persuade me to distance myself from this person and to return the same evil for evil. But the Lord makes it clear that this person is a teacher who tests my strength, and I choose love and begin a war in which there are no defeats.
Then a dear person appears who seems simply made for friendship. The heart is naturally drawn toward a close relationship. In return, you encounter friendly respect, acceptance, and admiration. And then the enemy of the soul begins his artillery barrage.
At first it comes as a wave of new sensations, of novelty in the relationship and the experience, which overwhelms you. You understand that your love has found a response, and your imagination immediately constructs rosy prospects called ‘what if...’ All of this remains within the bounds of propriety, for I am a Christian. And no one sees what is happening in my head. But I begin to fall in love. There is no escaping these thoughts. Like flies, they sense something unclean and refuse to fly away.
Then Jesus’ words of warning come to mind, and reason comes to its senses and begins to put things in order. It does this very gently so as to harm neither me nor other people. I choose faithfulness to my wife in thought and action. I enter into battle with the flesh. I call upon Jesus for help, and He sets me free. I am ashamed and pained that I could even have thought such a thing.
When I allow love within me to love another person, it affects not only me but also the one I love. People see that they are truly loved and accepted as they are, without conditions, but with the whole heart, without evil intentions or lustful suggestions. And if the enemy of the soul has no power over me, he tries to tempt the person whom I have decided to love. Temptations come instead of blessings. It should not be so, but Satan tries to pervert and defile everything.
God has taught me to establish boundaries in relationships that immediately define what is permissible. They deprive both me and my friends of the opposite sex of every opportunity for evil temptation. I declare that I love and greatly value my wife and daughter, and that within these boundaries I am ready to communicate with, serve, and help everyone whom the Lord gives me as a friend. I do not forbid others to love me, nor do I hinder God’s love from expressing itself through me, but I ask for wisdom about how to do this so that everything may be right and approved by Heaven.
I always remember that there is a seventh commandment, and in its light I weigh every thought that comes and every word that goes forth.
Words of love have healing power and can raise souls to new life. They reveal to other people the beauty of God’s character in you. You may be the first person in your friend’s life to show selfless love and open a new world of the beauty of God’s Kingdom.
I too am a living person who thirsts for human love, and I am surrounded by souls who thirst for this love. And if someone appears who meets these needs, the heart is naturally drawn toward the relationship and values it.
It must be remembered that, for all the joy of friendly relationships, there is also Christian ethics, which lays down specific requirements. Touching, teasing, being alone together, flirting, and similar interactions are forbidden by God. They sow seeds of temptation that spring up very quickly and lead souls into sin and spiritual death.
Love does not commit adultery even at the level of thought, yet it preserves its power and sees the goal it seeks to attain.
To love does not mean to commit adultery. Love is the most proper and respectful attitude toward a person who greatly needs God and desires to see Him in my character and in my love.
Love and friendship between brothers and sisters do exist, and they are pure. Such love cannot defile relationships, for it is love that represents God.
When children of different sexes are born into a family, the parents see no problem in this and teach them to love and respect one another, which afterward brings a person joy throughout life.
My friends who are sisters bring me great joy. They are a special blessing from God and a gift from Him. I love them, but I love my family in a special way, as families love.
And even if I meet a sister who is kinder, friendlier, more considerate, and more cheerful than my wife, I choose to remain faithful to my spouse even at the level of thought, and within these boundaries to be friends with those whom the Lord gives me.
Love guards my heart from evil and distinguishes darkness from light. The Lord places His approval upon pure thoughts and protects such a person from temptations, and the wicked one toucheth him not.
And ahead of us lie trials that only love can overcome. ‘Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.’
Homework 113
Did you learn anything new from this lesson? What happens to the mind of a person who violates the seventh commandment? Why is it so important to be careful when communicating with the opposite sex? Do you think genuine friendship between a man and a woman is possible without an intimate relationship? Are you certain of your understanding? Why do even my thoughts about people of the opposite sex matter to God? What should I do if my heart has become attached to someone and prayer does not help? Can there be exceptions to the seventh commandment? For example, what if I meet a believer who loves both me and God, is very kind and gentle, and is ready to help me in ministry, doing so with a pure heart? Please read Exodus 20:14; Leviticus 20:10; Jeremiah 3:1; Matthew 5:27–32; Proverbs 6:32–35; and John 8:3–11 in the light of our lesson.