Pity is tenderness, forbearance, and compassion toward a neighbor who is in a difficult situation, behaves strangely, or looks improper. Pity may also be directed toward oneself or be connected with missed opportunities.
“I am very sorry!” is a wonderful expression that quickly resolves many issues without explaining the true causes and motives. Please remember it. It may prove very useful.
A sense of pity may be prompted by love for a person or by the soul’s response to a situation that calls us to become involved in another person’s problems.
From childhood, we are all familiar with situations in which we fell or hurt ourselves while learning to live and walk, and our parents felt sorry for us because we were in great pain. Then they allowed us to continue making the same mistakes. I think it would have been very foolish if, out of pity, I had refused to teach my child to walk merely so that he would never fall. Instead, my love for him is directed toward teaching him, through falls and bruises, to behave in such a way that he can stand firmly on his feet and avoid harming himself. As a result, we see around us a society of people who do not fall without cause and who know how to solve their problems independently.
Who most often arouses my pity? Those who are poor, ill, dying, orphaned at a young age, bereaved, or hungry. In short, people who find themselves in a situation in which they cannot help themselves and are unable to change anything.
How do I treat such people? Sometimes I pass by if the person is a stranger. Sometimes I become involved in their concerns and offer whatever help I can. At other times, I try to understand the cause and help them look at matters differently.
The enemy of souls can also use pity to place me in a foolish position, disappoint me, rob me, or humiliate me. In recent times, he has used the talents of fraudsters, who play their roles very skillfully in order to achieve their goals. By winning my trust and attempting to arouse my compassion, they seek to force me to do what they want. In such a situation, the enemy uses all my positive emotions so that I will be guided by them. I have often witnessed such people gaining trust and receiving money, assistance, respect, and sometimes even gaining control over people themselves.
I remember a case in which a young sister from our church decided to marry a practicing drug addict. To every argument from her parents and friends, she replied that if she left him, he would die without her. Fortunately, she was persuaded not to take this step. But I know many broken or unhappy married couples who started families out of pity for themselves or their partner without understanding the consequences of such a choice.
How many beggars on the street are actually in need of help? And how much money given in response to appeals for medical treatment has never reached its intended purpose?
The saddest thing is when people who have experienced this and realize that they were deceived declare that they will never help anyone again for the rest of their lives. Many begin responding to every situation and request in precisely this way.
Yet God teaches us to exercise discernment in charity and to be guided by reason more than by feelings.
If I consult reason and God when starting a family, and after it has been established, I bring feelings and emotions within the bounds of propriety into the development of its relationships, I run the risk of being happy for life. But when everything happens in the opposite order, my behavior arouses the pity of those around me.
Jesus addresses me by calling me wretched and miserable and saying that I do not even know it. But I believe Him and understand that this is true. The Lord then offers me a way out. He gives me an opportunity to correct the situation and continues caring for me even if I do not decide to heed His counsel.
When describing the life of Jesus, the Gospel writers sometimes mention that the Lord had compassion on people, and He always did something useful.
When it comes to helping a poor person, the question is often asked: Is it better to give him a fish or a fishing rod? There is discernment in this approach.
When my wife and I arrived in Germany, the authorities immediately provided us with financial assistance for our living expenses because they understood our need. At the same time, they enrolled us in language courses and paid us an allowance for attending them. After we completed the courses, we were given the opportunity to find work or receive vocational training in order to qualify for a well-paid position. I noticed that the authorities in this country combat poverty so that even the poorest people may have enough and lack nothing. Some abuse this approach, while for others it provides real support and removes fear of the future.
Even during the pandemic, the German government assumed responsibility for sustaining its people by providing real assistance to those who encountered financial hardship. Some laugh at such naïveté, some resent the wastefulness, and some are very grateful for such treatment. It is impossible to please everyone.
Love always grieves that unhappy people surround it. It continually seeks opportunities to alleviate human suffering. It knows what it must do in each situation. Yet people will never all respond to love’s actions in the same way. Love believeth all things, but at the same time it sees everything. Love is discerning, yet it is also considerate of human needs. It always gives the very best it is able to give.
When love is present in my sense of pity, the enemy of souls will lose even if I help a fraudster.
Once, while vacationing in Russia, I met a woman and a girl near a church who tried to convince me that they had lost their home in a fire. I decided to investigate and began asking questions. The girl burst into tears and stopped answering, and I understood that she had been drawn into this scheme against her will. These people genuinely needed help, but they wanted to obtain it quickly and dishonestly by exerting pressure upon feelings of pity and compassion. After their deception was exposed, I decided to give them money, explaining that I was giving it out of love because I understood their need, especially since I had something to share.
How does God see our humanity? Genesis 6:5 says: “And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” Can this verse also be applied to our time? Yes. What does Eternal Love feel as He looks upon us? Pity and compassion belong to God, but His pity and compassion toward us are as great as God Himself. In order to correct our wretched condition, He gave us His only begotten Son—gave Him forever—in order to gain us forever as well. I valued this gift and believed that it was also given for me. I accepted this Gift of Heaven. Now I am very happy, and I have no intention of dying. Ever. Love has so many pursuits that an entire eternity is needed to carry out all its plans. It brings joy to know that the Lord has provided this as well for those who love.
I have never once regretted believing God and setting out upon this path. I only sometimes regret that I did not do so earlier, from childhood, but the Lord has turned even this to good. Love is discerning.
Homework 105
Did you learn anything from this lesson that is beneficial to your soul? How do you understand the feeling of pity? Have you experienced it in your life? How can the enemy of souls use this feeling to harm a person? Is a sense of pity bad or good? Should we fight against this manifestation in the heart? What relationship does pity have to love and to our school? Is it bad if I do not experience such feelings? What should I do if a friend asks to borrow money while playing upon my feelings? Please read Revelation 3:17; Hosea 11:8; Exodus 2:6; Matthew 10:36; Luke 7:13; 15:20; Matthew 14:14; and Mark 6:34 in the light of our lesson.