I possess what you do not have, and this makes my heart so glad. I am better than you. I also have many fashionable and useful things that I bought at half price during sales; otherwise, I would never have purchased them. But now I own them, and this gladdens my heart. What satisfaction I receive from looking over my possessions, sorting through my material treasures, and counting my money. I feel like saying, “Soul, thou hast much goods laid up for many years; take thine ease, eat, drink, and be merry.” They tell me, “Thou fool, what will become of all this if you die tonight?” But I understand that they speak out of envy, for the rich are always envied. And so many more shopping trips await me, so many useful purchases, so many opportunities to become rich and accumulate wealth, that I want to work, work, and work.
All modern industry is focused on producing goods for every occasion in life. Advertising for these things does its work, convincing me that my happiness and well-being depend on what I acquire for myself and what I use to fill my home. And I make this the meaning of my life. I am ready to work and earn money in order to buy, obtain, and accumulate. Some things are made merely to collect dust, while others are truly expensive. Antiques may be old, but they are worth a great deal of money and always retain their value. And paintings by famous artists cannot be bought at any price—but I have them! And I will not sell them to anyone.
To preserve my possessions, I need steel doors, bars on the windows, a modern alarm system, security guards, and insurance for every possible situation. A warehouse would also be useful. And so it turns out that I live in my own private prison, paid for with my own money, and think that I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing, yet I do not understand that I am wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked.
Sometimes insight comes to me, but when I look at this mountain range called “my possessions,” I cannot imagine how I could part with it all. So much money has been invested in it, so much strength expended, so much time given—indeed, my whole life and all its meaning are contained in it.
I read the Bible and see the wealthy Abraham, Joseph, and Job there. I calm down. Then I read Jesus’ rebuke of the rich businessman, and I become afraid. Yet I am reassured by the fact that it was spoken to a farmer, not to me. I do not have an abundant harvest, only useful things, many of which were purchased below cost.
But my heart trembles, and there is no peace. Somewhere deep within my soul, I feel that something is wrong with me, but I cannot give it up. It is mine. Dear to me. My own. Do I lack love? But love will not increase my possessions; I cannot put it in my pocket or spread it on bread. The awareness that I have so many things warms my soul, although it brings no peace to my heart. Where can peace be bought? At the pharmacy. I will go to a psychologist or psychiatrist, and they will prescribe something that will help me. I have private insurance that gives me access to the very best doctors and medical specialists. Yes, I have accomplished something in this world. And my car is a masterpiece of science and technology—so shiny, safe, and comfortable. My second car is for shopping, and the third is for work. Houses, apartments, vacation homes—how all of this delights me! I am simply rich, and I know how to earn and acquire. Only one thing troubles me. Old age is approaching, and they say that when people die, they take nothing with them into the grave. How terrible! And who will inherit all my wealth? My children. Yes, my children. They are worth living for. But am I truly living? Will my children appreciate how much labor and money were invested in my possessions? How many advertisements I had to watch in order to understand why I needed all these things!
Yet there is no happiness, because so many things are still beyond my reach. But I have a goal—to buy those things, and I will certainly become their owner. I have heard that Jesus also sells something: gold, clothing, and ointment. Apparently, He also understands commerce. Someday I will get around to Him as well. If only I could understand why I need these things. It is strange that He does not run an advertising campaign; His goods would sell much faster.
My neighbor bought himself such an impressive car—now there is a man! He is no fool.
What is love? I think that if I decorated my home with pink hearts, everyone would know that I understand something about love. People often send cards with pictures about love and various promises to my new iPhone, and I forward them to my friends who have old phones. By the way, I managed to get the iPhone as a special offer, so it did not cost me very much.
But suddenly illness came. I was confined to bed. My life became torment. The walls of the hospital room bring me no joy. Will I ever leave this place? How much does life cost? For what price can health be bought? Where is it sold? Here I lie on an institutional bed, in institutional linens, eating simple food. Will I ever leave this place? No one comes to visit me; no one is interested in me, and everything hurts. Day follows night. I cannot sleep, so I have to think. To think a great deal. God, can You hear me? What is happening to me? Please help me!!! Insight comes. My entire life resembles a squirrel running in a wheel. What did I live for? What meaning did I discover? It turns out that I do not need very much after all. Lord, help me escape from this endless cycle. But Who are You, God? Why do I not know You? I have read about You, heard about You, and sometimes prayed to You, but I have never truly known You. Perhaps You Yourself will tell me about Yourself now. They say that You love everyone. But do You love me, God? Do You love someone who is sick and forgotten by everyone? Do You need me—someone whom no one else needs? You love me? Honestly? Why, God? I have done nothing for You. I am a complete egoist!!! You love me anyway? Honestly? For no reason? No one has ever told me this before. How wonderful it is to understand this. How wonderful it is to be with You, God. Please do not go; stay near me. Thank You. But what happened to Your hands? Were You killed? Who dared to do this? I did? Are You serious? When? Is this true? Am I Your murderer? Then why do You not avenge Yourself? You love me? Why? This cannot be!!! I do not believe it; this is impossible!!! What is Your Name? Jesus? I have heard so much about You. I thought these were stories for old women. Please forgive me. You have forgiven me? Long ago? You knew me before? You were waiting for me? Seriously? From the moment I was born? Was it You Who saved my life so many times? This is amazing!!!
Lord, what can I do for You? Nothing? What can I give You? Nothing? Then what do You want from me? My heart? Is that all? How can this be? May I think about it? Do not go! Please do not go. Take everything; take me!!! Take my heart!!! I want You always to be near me!!! Please. Yes, I believe, I believe!!! You are my Savior. How blind I was! Why did I not meet You earlier? I know—I simply did not notice You. Jesus, do You love me? Honestly? Tell me once more! How wonderful! Please say it again. Thank You. Do You still love me now? And what about the fact that I was such an egoist? That is in the past? I will become different? You will help me? How wonderful! What will happen to me next? All right, do not tell me. But from now on, I want to be only with You, Jesus. You will not leave me? And if I die? You will resurrect me? How wonderful! How amazing You are! But why did You decide to treat me this way? I am a sinner worthy of death. You love me? These wounds were for me, and You died in my place? So that I might live? It is difficult for me to understand this. But I believe. Will You teach me to love? Yes? How wonderful! Shall we begin right now? I am ready...
Homework 74
Please read Luke 12:15–21; Proverbs 11:28; Exodus 20:3; 2 Corinthians 6:16–18; Galatians 5:20, 26; 1 Peter 4:3–4; and 1 John 5:21 in the light of our lesson. What did you understand from this lesson? What motivates modern people toward materialism? Is it right to buy necessary things? How does Jesus view my desire to possess many things? What should I do if I see symptoms of this disease in my life? How does God humble the pride of materialism?